Sorry Jams, but I don't ascribe to most of these!
1 no
2 not my job
3 ditto
4 hmm
5 not included in my job description
6 I am polite
7 good boundaries make good step families
8 hmmm
9 they HATE to see me loving their Dad that is, if you mean the SKIDs. My own kids are 30 and 32 so they aren't bothered!
10 not many of those

but good on you anyway if you can keep it up!

Is this a serious post? Or are you being facetious?

Cause these seriously sound like "rights" written by a stepkid... an entitled, jealous one at that.

Basically, Stepmoms, the only thing you have a "right" to be is a non-entity?

I don't think so.

Yeeeeeeeahhhhhh....

1. I love the people I love. Can't force it.
2. I am not their parent. This is their father's job.
3. I am not their parent. This is their father's job.
4. Treat the child equally...to what? My kids? Other people's kids? My DH? I prefer "treat everybody fairly", myself. "Equality" is such a slippery slope.
5. I go to some things, don't go to others. That's life.
6. I'm polite until given a reason not to be.
7. Nope. My boundaries WILL be respected or there will be consequences.
8. Unfortunately, once I'm THAT pissed off, it takes a looooong time for me to get over it. I'm still holding a grudge against SD23 for something that happened before Christmas. Oh, I'm polite, and it's not like I bring it up at all. But I haven't forgotten it either.
9. I love my DH because he's awesome - not for his kids.
10. Mostly I find joy outside of the skids....

1. Love the child.
i didn't love them but was very fond of them. Everything changed when DH and i had our child and moved in together. Kids don't speak to me without DH forcing them to.

2. Make sure the child takes baths, brushes teeth, est.
NOT my job.

3. Make sure the child is fed
They generally don't eat anything i cook. If hungry they would rather wait for their dad to come out of the toilet than ask me in the meantime.
Doesn't bother me if they eat the shite their dad gives them every visit.

4. Treat the child equally
No way that is happening. My daughter will have a decent mother who doesn't encourage ger to hate. So there's no way I could treat the evil SKIDs equally to my daughter. After all their mother gets sooo much money and they get a holiday to France every year until SD4 is 14...all paid for by DH as part of the separation agreement.

5. Show up at events, preferably with DH and only if invited by the child.
I won';t lose sleep if those little shits don't want me at their events. I have plety friends and family who are normal and make me feel so much better about life.

6. Be courteous and kind to all SD/SS family when you see them but remember this does not mean you have to be friends with them
BMs father is like a poisonous snake. he is also known to be racist. Given my very brown face, I doubt we will ever get along...LOL.

7. Respect boundaries and understand that they will never respect yours
Tell that to DH.

8. Don't hold grudges just move on
I imagine plane crashes...oops, shouldn't say that.

9. Love your DH the best thing for your kids to see is you loving their dad
BM probably tells the kids she would be with their dad if it wasn't for me. He left her for another woman long before i met him. One day they will learn that their parents are f-d up together.

10. Find joy in the Tiny Victories
When they are leaving, I call my mum and say the monkeys have left the building. I then retreat to my bedroom and wait for DH to come back and clean the filth his little shits have left before i can even sit on the couch.

I don't agree with this list. It's not SP rights. They are privileges that the stepchild may be entitled to if they are well behaved decent people.
What other relationship obligates you to love someone? :jawdrop:

I do most of these things. I don't consider them rules but privileges. I do all these things because SS has never given me a reason not too. He's a toddler, most of his defiance and brattiness isn't step related its just him acting like most kids his age. He hasn't done anything my own future children won't do so Im not going to hold him to a different standard. The day he decides he doesn't like me anymore or whatever, I have no problem ending all these privileges accordingly.

Step-parent Bill of Rights

1-I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.

2-People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives or husbands, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.

3-I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.

4-I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.

5-I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.

6-I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.

7-Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.

8-I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home.

9-My husband or wife and stepchildren must treat me with respect.

10-Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.

Once upon a time I thought I would do all of these things, and I did try the best that I could. Unfortunately as a step mom, I was faced with many rude comments, shitty situations, dealing with abnormal/aggressive behavioral issues from SS, and being outright told that I'm not good enough from too many people no matter that I did. I assume that's why so many step parents disengage. That's why I don't have a strong connection with SS even though he lives with us full time. That's why I refuse to take care of SS unless it's a dire situation, DH can handle it since everyone else thinks I do such a horrible job. I can't listen to it anymore. And now that I've given all of that up, I now get crapped on for not doing it all from the same peanut gallery. I'll worry about myself and my bio kids in that regard, I don't have the energy for the additional step drama.

This must be a joke. 

1. Love the child unconditionally no matter how disrespectful they are to you

2. Make sure the child takes baths, brushes teeth, est. aka do all the work - for free - the bio mom is paid child support to do 

3. Make sure the child is fed with your own resources while the bio mom gets paid child support and alimony just to ship her kids to you every week/holiday

4. Treat the child equally even though you're not allowed to treat them equally because you have no legal rights, can't discipline them, and Disneyland parents get pissed when you provide anything but the Disneyland experience 

5. Show up at events, preferably with DH and only if invited by the child. Waste your time being mean mugged by the biomom then being paraded around as eye candy to make partners ex jealous then be treated as an accessory, at the beck and call of the ingrate step kid

6. Be courteous and kind to all SD/SS family when you see them but remember this does not mean you have to be friends with them I'll take "bend over backwards for unsavory humans" for $500 Alex 

7. Respect boundaries and understand that they will never respect yours I'll take "bend over backwards for unsavory humans" for $1000 Alex 

8. Don't hold grudges just move on see "how to be a doormat" and "how to be a stepford wife"

9. Love your DH the best thing for your kids to see is you loving their dad must love dirty draws/dirty socks thrown all around the house, being put dead last while ex wife and kids propped on an imaginary pedestal, getting treated like a second class citizen in the home you contribute to way more than the kids/ex. The ingrate kids would love to see you being the best version of a doormat  you choose to be.

10. Find joy in the Tiny Victories LOL . What victories?