33 y/o adult SD
I am having a huge issue with adult SD and haven't said anything to DH. I sit by after 4 yrs of my marriage and she constantly text or calls him to come to her home for bs.(fix this, car broken, have a drink) I rarely drink but they are drinkers and that's what they do. I get to consistently be the third wheel. I've removed myself from anything that she's apart of. I do not want the negativity in my life. My husband is 59, I'm 44. We cannot go to dinner, be intimate or do anything without that damn phone going off. He never tells her no, for goodness sake she is a grown woman (34), married and has a 13 y/o son. I don't know if I am hormonal or what!! (Total hysterectomy in November) I don't understand this enmeshment, I have 3 grown kids and a grandbaby and they have the ability to function without me being by their side 24/7. I fix supper and wait.....he's always at her house after work and comes home after his few beers with her (maybe 4-5 hrs later) I'm just sick of the %**% I am to the point I shouldn't have remarried. I pay the bills here at home and take care of groceries and household. He pays phone bill and if I'm lucky part of the electric bill. In essence I am a carpet under his feet or so it feels.
She is his wife. You are his
She is his wife. You are his wallet.
^^^THIS^^^ And by the way,
^^^THIS^^^ And by the way, this is NOT hormonal on your part. Time to set boundaries and inform him of your expectation which it appears is what a typical wife would expect. Will he go to counseling? If he won't, four years isn't that long. Cut your losses and move on.
This! All of there above!
This! All of there above! Please give him the heave-Ho and take back ur life!
He's just another user/loser.
He's just another user/loser. Move on and find someone worthy of you.
Rekey the locks. Move on.
Rekey the locks. Move on. If your DH cannot be your equity life partner then he deserves no support from you. If he wants to keep his spawn as his soul mate, there is no room for you in that role.
Take care of you. He isn't.
Why don't you try not being
Why don't you try not being home when he gets home?
I'm not usually one to hurry up and wait on anyone. How rude that he doesn't even tell you that he isn't coming home to eat.
Screw that.
Your problem is more with
Your problem is more with your DH than your SD, you know that, right? You must speak up for yourself. He can be your partner, or her partner, but he can't be both.
What do you need him to do to demonstrate that he IS your partner? Think about the specifics that you want. If he listens, hears you respectfully, and tries to adjust his behavior, your marriage might have a chance. If you hear "you just hate my daughter" or otherwise turns it around so that you're the bad guy or if he makes excuses, then you have a different kind of answer. Know what you want and ask for what you want. Remaining silent will get you more of the same.
They give each other's
They give each other's alcoholism legitimacy. Codependency at its finest. If he didn't go there to drink it would be somewhere else. With the two of them supporting each others drinking this behavior will never change. Plus with you paying all the bills and continuing to stay for more of this crappy treatment he has no incentive to ever change Your leaving the relationship is the only thing that will end this.