Adult SS
So this happened:
My wife and I invited her son, his wife, their mistress, the mistress' son and a brand new baby into our home because they have an eviction on their record and they could not afford to get in anywhere. We explained to them how we like our house kept clean, don't leave your dishes in the sink and make sure the laundry room is kept clear. None of this has been done. Our rugs are trashed, food is left on the floor after being thrown their by the toddler, trash is not taken out, floors not vacuumed and so on and so forth, the list grows. I have told them repeatedly that I did not want the toddler running around the house with food or drink and that is how THIS started.
My wife's son up to this point has called me names and yelled at me for saying something to their 8yo about leaving lights on around the house. Then one night he asks his mother if a blanket that was on the couch had any special washing instructions and she asked him why. He said that the toddler spilled juice on it at which point I said that she should never have been over there with food or drink to begin with. He went nuclear and started screaming at me that I had no say about anything in my own house, that my opinion didn't matter, that I was a racist because of what my sister named her kids (I still don't understand that rationale) and the second I started to say that it was my house and that I did have a say, he raced across the room throwing chairs out of his way to get to me. I am a disabled veteran and broke my back in 2010 and have been dealing with the pain ever since. Well he rushed me, hit me with his chest knocking my back out, and was screaming in my face and spitting in my face. Took his mom, his wife and his mistress to pull him off of me. That was June 2nd 2020.
I waited two months for an apology that would never come so I sent him a letter telling him that he needed to find other accomodations. That is when he told his mom that if she didnt get rid of me that she would never see her granddaughter again. I quit talking to him and acknowledging his existence because this went way beyond just name calling and yelling at me. Now he has gotten violent and assualted me. I have told my wife again and again that he needed to go and she kept saying that the punishment did not fit the crime, that because of the eviction on their record they couldn't find a place and so on. It is now October and the are still here and I would say digging in even more.
I am so unhappy and my wife is making this out to be my fault now. Saying comments like, "Are you out to break us up?" Making me feel like him attacking me is my fault and that I shouldn't kick them out. I am so resentful of everyone here I am really close to just leaving. All the while he struts around here like he is king of the hill. So done with all of this. I didn't go to the cops that night because I didn't want to ruin his life, I just wanted him out of my house. What a mistake.
Any words of wisdom are very welcome.
Kick them ALL out INCLUDING
Kick them ALL out INCLUDING your "wife". Then get some therapy to understand why you would accept such treatment.
My friend, there are far worse things than being single, you are currently experiencing several of them.
They need to move out, but first contact an attorney
They need to move out, but first you need to contact an attorney. Since they have lived there so long, you may have to go through a formal eviction process. You should find out where you stand legally before you start the process. Discuss it with an attorney, maybe you moving out would be the way to go - if you can protect your rights to the house.
You also need to figure out how you are going to protect yourself from SS. Obviously, if he physically attacks you again you need to immediately call the police and press charges. Do you have a friend that could be there when you tell them to move out, or when you move out yourself?
I rarely tell people to arm themselves, because if they don't know what they are doing it can cause more harm than good. However, you probably have the knowledge to be able to safely arm yourself in order to stay safe. No way should you let SS lay hands on you again.
I am sorry you are going through this - it has to been an awful position to be in.
First of all thank you for your service.
Have you been in touch with your local Veterans service officers/ organizations regarding help or benefits for disabled veterans?
There may be help that you are not aware of.
contact the local police and file a report about the attack on you in your own home. Having this report on file may expedite removing this bunch of freeloaders and sloths.
Contact a domestic abuse shelter if you feel your safety is at risk. They can guide you on what to do to remain safe while getting these people out of your house. Don't worry about ruining the SS life. Sounds like he already has a good head start on that already.
Best wishes. Keep safe.
Seriously they moved in a mistress with her kids? Along with SS and wife? At the very least s ee if the police can remove SS from your home with a protective order since he attacked you. Then get the evictions started for everyone else. Including your wife if necessary.
until you get them out address everything they do to your wife to handle since she enables them and allowed them into the home. Contact an Attorney.
check into support services for yourself so you do not end up in abusive situation again. Best of luck. https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice/file/949096/download
Welcome to the site!
No-one should have to put up with this kind of abuse in their own home - home should be a safe space for everyone. They all (including your wife who colludes with it) need to go; if they won't go voluntarily you need to look into legal eviction.
You should have called the
You should have called the cops the very first time he laid hands on you and had his sorry arse hauled off. Go to your local police station tomorrow and find out what it would take to get a restraining/protection order against this foul apology for a human being. Also find out how to evict the whole damn lot of them.
Protect yourself, man. Being male and being a vet doesn't mean that the law doesn't protect you like it would anyone else.
No, no, no, no, no.
YOu should have shot him when he attacked you. End of problem.
Now, boot your idiot gaslighting moron breeding failed woman, failed wife, failed mother and her entire adulterous shallow and polluted gene pool to the curb. She can go sign a lease with them and go down the shitter with them while you get on with your life.
Thank you for your service Sir.
Enjoy your new life adventure with them all fading in your rear view mirror.
WTF? It's not too late to
WTF? It's not too late to press charges. Then stop and see a divorce attorney. You deserve better and your wife isn't going to give it to you.
Thank you FOR YOUR SERVICE and SACRIFICES for this great
country. I come from a long line of Veterans and have the highest respect for them and where they've been. Sincerely, thank YOU! You are to be valued and appreciated.
As much as you may feel her son is the problem, he's not. SHE IS THE PROBLEM. SHE IS ALLOWING THIS FROM HIM. She is doing NOTHING IN YOUR DEFENSE.
He's trying to guilt mommy into keeping him and his lousy bunch around by holding the grandkids over her head. It's a classic trick these sick adult kids use. Kids are nothing to them but a pawn in the game of life.
Ever wonder WHY they were evicted? By the way, this is a non-issue for YOU. You didn't cause them to be evicted from their prior residence. Since he's walking around like King of the Hill, surely he can strut on over and get an apartment finding guide, or call local apartment complexes to set up living accommodations. If he's healthy enough to throw chairs out of his path to get at you and throw your back out, then he is healthy enough TO WORK AND FIND HOUSING FOR HIS group of losers.
As for an apology that never came, it won't, and even if it were to mateiralize, it would just be words. Apologies require changes in attitudes and behaviors. This lousy derelict isn't capable of that. Apologies also require self-respect. In the first place, if he had an ounce of respect for himself, he would never have launched this attack on you, in an effort to take over your home.
I know you cannot go back in time, but oh, how I wish you had filed a police report on her son. I hope you are documenting what is going on with him, particularly with the abuse and violence he is exercising in YOUR HOME.
Personally, and believe me, I know this is easier said than done, however, you are in a dire situation with seemingly no end in site. I would get the police over and have them all kicked out. I wouldn't allow 30 days, change locks, or play soft-ball with ANY OF THEM. I'm not sure where you live, but I know in Texas it can be done, especially if their driver's licenses do not bear the address of residence. I personally had to do this with a high school love who resurfaced after many years.
After I got rid of that enotourage, I would separate finances, take her name off any utility bills, credit cards and anythign else she is on, and get a great divorce attorney, no "talking it over" or hearing her pleas of how unfair you are for trying to "break us all up" just serve her with divorce papers, and send her packing.
This just is beyond repair. There is no 12 stepping this away. Your life MEANS SOMETHING. You are valued. There is a special plan for your life, but THIS is NOT IT.
Please, I implore you, do NOT sit idly by while she is the ring leader of this abusive circus.
Interestingly I try not to read the responses of others before posting my thoughts. I just went back after the fact, and read them and we are all pretty much synchronized and spot on with our advice.
Nobody should live like this
You deserve a far better life than you can have with this long list of losers in your orbit. This SS and his entourage are seriously messed up people. Maybe I missed it, but why is he traveling with wife and mistress in tow? Are they polygamists? These people have made their own mess of things in their lives and it's not your job to support them while they clean it up. And your wife doesn't sound like much a prize either. Get them all out, then take some time and re-evaluate what you want in your life. Good luck to you!
All of the above
Every comment here is absolutely correct.
Protect yourself at all times.. Stop expecting anything from this group. You have earned peace.
Happened again
So I left for 2 months over Christmas to try and decompress. I wasn't going back until my wife flew across country to come talk to me. So we had some in depth conversations and I was really hoping she would see and understand what is going on. She said she did and said she would have my back this time, that we would be united. Keep in mind that we are also trying to sell our house too.
So in the process of trying to get the house ready to be sold, we are trying to clean it up and get it ready to show. My wifes' son and his two women trashed our house and they leaves piles of crap everywhere. Toys, clothes, you name it. I wish I could upload pics to let you see. One such pile was in the living room. My wife said she wanted to clean the carpets out there so I started to clean up a 4ft tall pile of toys and clothes and nasty underwear and such that was out in our living room. I took everything and put it in the two back rooms that they are occupying. I didn't throw it in there. I set the stuff down where I could find space and kept it as organized as I could in two very disgusting rooms.
Well, that started a whole other round of bull crap. The step-son called his mother and said, "If he is not gone by the time I get there, I am going to kick his ass!" He was yelling so loudly that I heard that come out of her phone. So I took my glasses off and sat on the couch and waited for the inevitable. He came racing up to the house with his car, ran through the door and came running toward me. His mother was standing in the way crying and he just picks her up and starts slinging her around to get her out of the way so he can come at me. When he finally gets around her he gets right in my face again, spitting all over me and saying all kinds of things. One was that because I don't pay for this house that we live in, I have no rights and can't say anything. This is his mothers house and I just needed to shut up, they can do what they want in their mothers house. It has been explained numerous times that ALL my disability goes into paying for this house. I don't even have play money because it all goes into this house.
He started talking about how I am always hiding behind locked doors, that I don't want to talk to them, that I don't sit and eat dinner with them, I have no right to say anything to his kids in his mothers house, and the list goes on. I asked him to sit and have a rational conversation with me. He wouldn't do it. He wouldn't let me talk by interrupting me all the time. I got to the point that I knew it was a waste of time and breath to try to talk, so I got up and got my shoes on and left. I had to get out and I thought I am just going to start walking south and I wouldn't stop until I collapsed. The police found me because my wife called them to come looking for me.
Again we had a very long conversation and she does see what they are doing and how they are acting. She is on my side. Took forever for her to see it because she was trying to be peacemaker. I kept telling her that they don't WANT peace. They want me gone. So they are still here, complaining that we are selling the house and they aren't ready to move. I am trying to sell every piece of furniture of ours that they use so they have nothing to sit on anymore and I am waiting. Waiting for the next eruption. Now that she is over the fact that they are trying to hold hostage the granddaughter if my wife agrees with anything that I say or do, I wait. It will happen again, and this time I am not chained down. Why don't I do anything now? Because that would mean that they could possibly be here longer. I am not going to throw the 2 and 8 year old out in the street either. So I wait and I document EVERYTHING.
Call the locksmith to re-key
Call the locksmith to re-key the locks. It is not your responsibility to house your adult SKids and their children. Your SS is a POS and needs to be out on the street and his kids need to know their father is a POS who refuses to provide a home for them.
Man up, pull all of your finances from that house until it the locks are changed and the home is cleaned and on the market.
Once it is sold, make sure the next home you buy is in both your name and your DWs, her children never get a key, and does not have room for her toxic failed family POS adult spawn and their progeny.
Next time he assaults your wife or you, defend yourself. Put web cams all over your home so when he goes nuts and you ahve to shoot him, it is clearly documented as self defense.
smh
Quit making the house payment,
Quit making the house payment, if your name is not on the mortagage or the deed. Let your wife make up the difference from her son. You don't deserve to be treated like this and it is only a matter of time before it becomes physical. Is your idea to sell the house and move somewhere without SS? I'm sorry, but I don't see your wife letting that happen.