Doesn't matter if she is mad or not. She's obviously nothing but worthless trash. Erase her from your life. Tell your wife to stop relaying messages from her.

Don't expect your wife to fight your battles. You just need Miss User/Loser out of YOUR life. You goal is to not give a darn what she says about you. There's nothing to be gained from trying to get your wife to reprimand her. There's everything to be gained from never having to see her again.

You probably would have been stepping over the line telling SD she is irresponsible - IF your DW had handled the situation properly. But she isn't so you are going to have to create boundaries and stick by them. It is never acceptable to name-call or use obscenities. Time to draw back and disengage from the skids. Also possibly go to counseling with DW to help with communication.

Don't waste a response on the stepdaughter. She is trying to leech off you and dump her responsibility onto you.

Just treat things as though she does not exist.....why don't her siblings help her or tell her the truth that her actions were stupid....

DISENGAGE PERMANENTLY FROM HER AND THE STEPS......

Tell your wife that you don't care to hear about any future texts from SD. Honestly I can't believe she'd repeat something like that to you. It really had nothing to do w/you but just SD having a kidult temper tantrum. She should have set her kid straight w/out dragging you into it.

Let your wife deal with her creature and the decisions she makes. Wash your hands of the entire situation.

AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL of your wifes daughter to say such a filthy thing.

My best guess is she wanted cash OR cash and to drop her kids off. Heck, she would not step one foot into my house IF my own daughter said that to me.

I believe wineisthecure hit the nail on the head....your sd also has a problem with her mom.

Another guess of mine is THIS is all your stepdaughter, she sounds like a mess.

POOR KIDS

Hopefully someone has checked in on Grandma to make sure she didn't use her as a money grab.

Just a hunch.

So now you know what your SD thinks of you. Mine is 42 and doesn't like me either. You have no responsibility for housing SD at the last minute.

So she would have driven past her own home to get to yours? Are you sure she still has a home?

In the future, do not offer her any more advice. It's a rare step-kid that would want advice from a step parent anyway. Define your boundaries and don't take any crap. You certainly should never tolerate disrespect in your own home, under any circumstances.

I haven't seen my OSD in 2 years and it has been wonderful. My DH handles the relationship with his DD and gkids all on his own, and our marriage has never been better.

Not your monkeys and not your circus....stay out of it; stay away from it...Mom created this mess, let her deal with it.

She is trashy and rude. Sounds like my OSD who periodically calls her dad awful names. Saying all that it's not your place to tell her that she is irresponsible. I can't even imagine my DH saying this to my DD.

first of all i feel you pain. you were concerned about the sd quitting her job. you may also suspect she will come running to her mommy for help, financial and otherwise.

yes, she is trash. she is a loser and your already know this.

your task is to ignore her and hope your wife does the right thing by supporting you and getting sd to be independent and caring for her children.

btw, where is baby daddy in all this? you could well be stuck with baby sitting if the sd goes to work.

Your SD is blaming you for her BM agreeing to say "no". Just give your DW the credit she deserves for sticking to the decision. Don't discuss the text, just ignore it and let it go; never respond to your SD. Handle it the way you see fit, but YOU handle it. Don't expect BM to handle it; it will only become continued drama for your marriage. I made the mistake of expecting and demanding that my DH fix it, years ago. DH never fixed it and only became more defensive of his DD.

Example of what I did: My SD56 wrote me a 2 page hate email of the same sort as your text. It came about, because I told her she couldn't bring her dog in my house again. I told SD56 she could bring the dog (just lived up the street) to visit, but he had to stay outside. Every time SD came, she let him in the house, he raised his leg on my white couch and relieved himself, went in the bedroom, did the same thing on a bed skirt and carpet both places. He shed terribly and I had to vacuum and mop up all types tracks etc. when she left. I told DH I hated the dog in the house, DH did nothing about it, so I did.

SD had a meltdown and wrote the horrible email. I printed it out, handed it to DH and informed him no future social media had better happen again. DH then discussed it with SD56 (don't know what was said), I blocked her and SGD32 (mother/daughter) from ALL of my social media, and I totally disengaged. That was years ago, I let it go and now concentrate on my marriage. These two toxic women are forever out of my thoughts and I handle them as events arise.

Now that I have taken myself out of the drama, it is no fun for any of them, including my DH. We do better and they hardly ever visit now that we have moved to the neighboring State. It took ME to fix the problem, not my DH. It would still be going on if I had not taken action and set boundaries. I didn't hesitate to make myself clear to SD, SGD, and DH. There are no doubts and I have peace and freedom from the mind games the three of them play.