BF is not going to kick out his ADULT DD.  you have to kick them out.  You have to take control of your home.

This May end your relationship, but if it does then you did not have the relationship you wanted 

Kick them all out, that includes your DH. You are married? Living together? Take your power back regardless. Tell those bitches to get the F out .

They all sound vile. Mental illness maybe. OR just spoiled lil daddys princess who always got their way.

Personally I would leave this shithole marriage?/relationship. Gawd you can meet better than this. 

There are 2 things going on.

1. They hate you or dislike you because their mom does. BM should have drilled it into her kids heads they better be kind and respectful to dads new wife. I know I sure did. I would NOT put up with hearing my kids treated my xdh like garbage.

2. They continue to act like that because dh allows it.

 He should them to shape UP or ship out---"do NOT speak of my wife that way" you will continue to have this same result until he does.

I am so sorry.  Assuming you are in your 40's maybe 50's?? Thinking about starting over may be scary.

I could not live in this situation. How do you stand being treated so poorly in your own home, while your DH stands around with his thumb up his a$$, saying, "they are NICE girls!" 

Why are you allowing him to raise his children to your level? They have no place in your life. If he doesn't understand the difference between his wife and his daughters then he isn't worth the time. Time they moved out and started to work on their own lives. It's actually pretty pathetic that they have so little going for them. 

The problem is your husband. 

When you wrote your other blogs, you hadn't actually moved in but were thinking about it? Is that right?

I hope you haven't given up your home and moved in to his.... because this is never going to work.

They are NOT  "good girls" and for your boyfriend to claim they they are, just shows how  obtuse and disrespectful of you, that he really is. How can he say they are good when he witnesses the way they treat you??

He is a total enabler. Those girls aren't going anywhere. He is giving them a cushy lifestyle. Of course they aren't leaving!!!

I really think you should end this relationship and find some one worthy of you. You deserve the peace and kindness that you are wishing for.

HE IS YOUR PROBLEM, plain and simple.

Not so easy to face it. Nobody likes believing the man they fell in love with thinks so little of them, they'd put their kids FIRST.

This NEVER CHANGES. What you're experiencing now is a FORESHADOWING of things to come, should you decide to invest more of your time, energy and efforts in this relationship.

I am going to try and give you hopefully, some insight from experience. I will try not to make this a long story, and there is a point to be made here. Please be patient with me and hopefully, it will shed some light on the situation. Something very similar happened to me with my SS. My DH was feeling like my SS and I were like bickering siblings.  DH also felt like he was in the middle in a tug of war game between us constantly. My SS would make up stuff and tell DH that I was being mean when he was alone with me. He also would make comments under his breath or push my buttons in passive aggressive ways to get me to snap at him or raise my voice. (I had to start recording conversations to prove I wasn't hurting his son)

It became so bad, that my SS forced my DH to choose between SS and me. This was recently in the past year after almost 24 years involved in his life, and him living with us for eleven years of that 24. SS recenty told his grandfather that he never ever liked me. The grandfather told me what SS told him. Suddenly, everything he had said and done to me in the past made perfect sense. I never had a chance with him. It didn't matter what I said or what I did. My SS hated me from day one. It wasn't any one particular thing I had done to make him feel this way, it's just what it was. My DH witnessed a lot of it, but it didn't register with him what was actually going on. What made it worse, was that rarely did he stop the behavior that was being projected towards me when he himself had just witnessed it. Then, my SS started doing the same thing to DH that he was doing to me years later. THAT was when it finally hit home with my DH. My DH had told SS no to paying his $50K student loans. SS suddenly started treating DH like he had always treated me. Passive agressive, lying, and pushing buttons to irritate him on purpose. DH then realized that what SS was putting him through, was the exact same thing that I was put through for over twenty years with this kid. As a result of this, and my SS forcing my DH to choose between me and SS, my DH no longer has a relationship with his son. (His decision, not mine.)

I am telling you this because I actually have a point here. I guess my point is, sometimes, the bio dad or mom doesn't see what is going on until it happens to them. It can take years for it to click with them what is actually going on and how it feels to be treated that way. I don't know how your patience level is, but it took my DH a VERY long time to see it.

SO is there a way to stop this now? Yes, but your BF is the only one who can put a stop to this. If he doesn't, it will only keep escalating until he is forced to choose by his own children like my DH. If my DH had stopped the disrespect by his son early on, he may not have had to choose, but I don't know. Your BF can do this in a loving way with his kids and yet get the point across. They need to learn how to share him. Your BF needs to realize that you are trying to love them, but they will not let you. I don't know how he is at communication, but he needs to let his kids know that he loves them very much and he isn't replacing them. They need to respect his decision on who he is with, and respect you. That doesn't mean that they have to like you, but they need to be civil and stop the toxic behavior. If they can't be peaceful, then they will need to live elsewhere. A counselor my be able to assist him with how to talk to his kids if he is willing to go to one.  I also believe that when his kids finally move out, that it will fix a lot of the tension between you and your BF if these kids refuse to cooperate. It did for me when my SS moved out. I was so relieved, and my DH was too. He even changed the locks on the doors because he wanted to.  

Now, as far as them hating you. That is something that cannot be fixed if they've hated you from day one. If they get it in their head that they hate you and will never like you, then it means it won't matter what you say or what you do, it's not going to matter. Nothing will change that. They probably see you as competition, and they have a certain loyalty to their mother. If that's the case, you will still have to be civil with them for their father's sake and respect that decision, as they will have to be civil and respectful to you. You can't force them to like you or even love you, even if you've never done anything to make them hate you. Only time will tell if that will ever happen.

If your BF doesn't stop this now, it won't get any better, trust me. The tactics will just keep going until the bio parent stops it, or until the step parent throws their hands up and gives up and leaves. That is what these kids are hoping for, to get their father all to themselves. He needs to be made aware of that.

Make sure you let your BF know that all you want to do is get along. You hate the fighting and you are not making him choose, but you would like a little respect and for them to be civil, even if they don't like you. You are willing to share him with them. They are making it very uncomfortable and difficult for you to be around them. If he witnesses disrespect, then he needs to stop it when it happens. If they are only doing this behavior when they are alone with you, then don't be alone with them, or get a way to prove it is happening to you. Your BF and you will also need to get it across to them, that you aren't going anywhere. Someday, his kids will grow up and have their own lives. It will be nice to have someone left to share his life with him.  Hugs. 

This is on your DH.  He needs to put his foot up the asses of his disrespectful hateful adult daughters and let them know that his bride will be respected or they are gone. Out and cut off immediatly.  Their choice. Grow up immedietly into respectful adults who recognize their father as a husband and his wife.... as his wife. Or launch.

You need to give DH clarity that until he does this that he will be a ball-less failure of a man, husband, and father.

I am baffled by any man who would serve his bride up as a victim for any toxic individual to insult.

Good luck.

"If you really loved me, you would do xyz" is not love. It's manipulation. Every.Single.Time. If HE really loved YOU he would at least try to hear what you're saying. He's much more interested in his own comfort than anything you want or need.

If you still want to see this man (after all this great advice), tell him you are NOT coming to his house anymore, to be abused and disrespected by his two bitches.
Stuff that! Tell him if he wants to see you, it will be in a place of peace and harmony (ie your house) where you feel relaxed and safe.
And while you're at it, ask him how HE would feel if your two daughters acted towards him the way his bitches do towards you?? Let's hear what he has to say about that!
But to be honest, I think this guy is a waste of time. He hasn't stood up for you to date, and he won't start now. He is completely under his daughter's thumbs.
Sorry to sound so harsh, but this is true and I think you know it, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking for advice.
Dump him and live a nice peaceful life. A great guy will come along eventually....but take some time out for yourself to recover from this experience.

Is he worth all of this? I mean can you block out the hatred. and the tantrums, and the interrupted time with him? Can you be ok that some other women , his DD's, manipulate him and he caves. Can you be ok with placing last on his female priority list?

Why would you want a BF where you can never go over because of his shitty mini wives? It will only get worse. You will build up so much resentment. You will feel like you are in a competition to "win" this booby prize. You will never win. I had only one SD. Two would be a flipping nightmare.

Gawd you deserve better than this. 

~~"I don't want to leave him and have him be alone"~~

Uhm...that is EXACTLY what you need to do !!!!  Go do your own thing, live your own life.  Tell him he can spend all the time he wants with the little biotches.  Guess what?  He'll sit home all alone and they will only honor him with their presence when they want something from him.

OMG.

LMFAO at this guy who LETS not only his 2 miniwives but also his EX WIFE and his MUMMY tell him what to do!!

Was he at your house when they called? He should not have answered the call....it's ridiculous. I hope he didn't up and leave your house? He should have told them all to F off.

"Telling him he needs to be at home with his daughters" WHAT? They are 21 and 23. Adults. Not minors who need supervision.

Honestly mate, this whole family and this situation sound crazy.

Get out - go. Maintain your dignity and sanity.

His brats will never change. HE has to change, or your relationship doesn't stand a chance. He needs to set rules and limits and INSIST on respect for you and your relationship. They also need to move out, they are adults! If he won't do that, RUN. Trust me. You don't want to waste your life on a hopeless situation. If he won't form a united front with you, leave and don't ever look back. You deserve better.

This guy has sooo many issues that predate you. He is completely p.w. by his mommy, which led him to marry another domineering female, and then he had daughters who were raised knowing he is weak and unworthy of respect. This isn't merely a skid issue; this is multi generational dysfunction. 

There's so much toxicity attached to him that he's not even relationship material. He should have been in therapy DECADES ago for HIS issues. You can't separate the man from the coven that controls him. They are united in their hatred of you, another female that wants to trespass on their territory and threaten the status quo.

There is ZERO possibility for a peaceful, emotionally healthy existence with this guy.