Being COURT ORDERED to pay for college
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It hasn't happened to DH but it sickens me to read about it here (or anywhere).
I think the "justice system" just emboldens these people and encourages them to act like jerks to the hand that feeds them. These skids know they don't have to play nice with dad and sm to get this money. They know they can act like a$$holes and still get loads of money. They have no incentive to work on a healthy, close relationship with their Dad and a peaceful, co-existing one with their SM.
I agree after reading and
I agree after reading and commenting on the recent post that I read! I am so thankful that it is not happening to my family! I don't knock helping kids go to college or even paying for it for those that are lucky enough to afford that for their child but a child that does not appreciate it does NOT deserve it and its sad that in some situations, the parent has no choice but to pay! Unreal!
Amen to what you said! This
Amen to what you said! This makes me sick to think that people can do this! Its a generation growing up of entitlement. It just makes me want to work harder at making my bios really know that that does not stand with me. I will not let my kids grow up thinking that they can get hand outs! My husband and I have worked for everything that we have. I have one SD22 who pays her own college (we help her because we want to and she knows only what we can and she has to keep a good GPA or we will stop helping). I have SD19 who is selfish and feels entitled all the time...don't need to go on, I am sure you have read my posts![Smile](https://prod-cdn-1.ststatic.com/sites/all/modules/contrib/smiley/packs/kolobok/smile.gif)
Ah well, lets not lump an
Ah well, lets not lump an entire generation together. Thankfully there are still plenty of young people who make their own way, or at least appreciative when mom and dad are able to chip in. I agree that being forced to pay for a young adult's education is absolutely ridiculous. Why are children of divorce such special snowflakes that they get tuition paid for them, but kids from nuclear families have to work, take out loans, or hold off on furthering education when mom and dad aren't financially supporting them? It's maddening. Financial support should absolutely end when they're legally considered adults, and from then on it's voluntary.
It was me.....and it started
It was me.....and it started with the oldest daughter. She began failing semester after semester and the judge kept ordering my dh to pay. She and her sisters sued for cell phones, and one even got the judge to give her my dh's second car because she wrote a letter to the court that my dh didn't pick her up in a timely manner from her summer job! I could write a book on this..........these witches used the courts to wound him, why .....because he had the audacity to get married and they just wanted him to take care of them. Dh married a conniver who had been using him for years. A few times when we were dating, his phone accidentally dialed me......and I heard a few ugly encounters that e had with his ex wife, and one with a daughter.. They were cursing him out.......and honestly sounded so cruel.
So yes.....dh has to pay child support, plus 7k per semester, and half of her books each semester. No thank you, nothing. And I should add that this witch got 20 k from my dh's parents recently due to a custodial acct they had set up years ago for these monsters!!!! So I consider her photocopying her book bill and just mailing it to dh the height of grotesque. To my husband's daughters, I truly hope you recognize yourselves and someday I look forward to telling you to your faces what Absolute freaks I think you all are!
After having read a lot of
After having read a lot of the issues about cs after 18, and being court ordered to pay for college I sat my oldest down to let her know we had some financial decisions to make. She turns 18 in a few months but won't graduate until May our state automatically requires cs "until 18 or graduation whichever comes latter" However I can request cs longer for college or modify the co to include half of college expenses (it does say half of school expenses but it's not college specific) I told her my options regarding college and reminded her it has always been known there was no college savings, her dad and I have never and are not in a position to even be allowed to co-sign loans that she will have to apply for aid, scholarships and work, but what would she like to do, have me modify and request cs through college, try and push the sharing of school costs as including college or deal with her dad directly herself for any assistance she may need. He's in arrears plenty of cs as is. She was made aware of it and how repayment of arrears works because I think she needs to know to make an informed decision and she's almost an adult. he usually pays biweekly but hasn't paid the full amount in a year now. She decided she would deal with him directly she feels she will #1 not get crap from him any way and #2 if she does there will be less drama and issues with him giving her help if she asks and it's not court ordered since "He doesn't pay when or what he's supposed to and does it just because he and his gf know it screws things up for you." That kinda shocked me and I had her clarify that yep they've said this to my kids, I get screwed on my cs on purpose. I honestly think she's right she has a much better chance of his financial help if she deals with him directly, of course I'm betting he'll tell her no because he'll be still paying cs on her brother ans all of the arrears long after she's done with college. I like the decision I make to ask her and let her make a decision it's her college education, she will be an adult and has to learn to start handling the adult relationship she will have with him.
To add she will be attending our local community college, it's affordable, close and she researched cost vs education and feels she can get a better deal there. If she decides to go further she's said "I will already be working at an in demand job making good money and all of the places looking for my career type will assist with further education it's a win win for me. I get a good inexpensive education that gets my foot in the door to get a great inexpensive education." In a way I feel sad I can't do better for my kids than that but I'm also glad because they will appreciate what they work for more than anything I just handed to them.
It is a real source of
It is a real source of resentment for me in that my children are attending state schools and community colleges, while his daughter, who has had no contact with me in over 3 years, sits her ass at a fancy private school, and dh is forced to pay for someone who s basically just using him as a money tree. And she refuses to even pick up the damn phone. There are no words to convey the absolute disgust I feel toward she, her sisters, and her vile mother.
I get why many people feel
I get why many people feel that way, but many people have become successful without going to college. Also, what about student loans? What about just going to a state school or community college? Many people bust their butts to do that, regardless of whether or not their parents are divorced.
My parents divorced and I went to a state school. Got a scholarship and worked a full time job. My folks helped when they could. Nobody court ordered them to pay for my college education.
My hubby makes a good living
My hubby makes a good living and I had no issue getting financial aid that of course I have to pay back. I am currently paying it back but I am ok with that. Having to pay for college myself made me pull an awesome grade point average and work my butt off while being a full time mother and wife to our household of 2 bios and 2 steps. I also carried my baby through out it and after I gave birth only took a week off of school even though my professor said I could take maternity leave. I went to class after that week. I had to wait till I was older to go to college because even though I had parents who were married does not mean I had a good life. I get sick of hearing that kids from a divorced home have it harder. Its not necessarily true!
I also have to agree that you do not need college to be successful. My husband is perfect example, he started in a company and worked his way up and now he makes double if not more then what I will make a year after a degree.
I agree, I went back to
I agree, I went back to school later in life, graduated in 2011. I have quite a bit in student loans that I am currently and for the next 20 years having to pay back.
Not to mention, I am also having a difficult time trying to find a job now with my degree. Plenty out there that don't pertain to my degree but I went to college to become what I went to college for. Its ridiculously expensive and I went to a state college.
I didn't get any pell grants.
I didn't get any pell grants. I also have applied numerous places and most want Masters level. I already have 40k in loans. Don't feel like going back. Going to keep trying to find a job and if I have to go outside of my degree then so be it. I would rather save the extra money to put towards my kids or something.
I loved being a non traditional (congrats to your DH too!). It made me care more about school. Yes I agree though for the younger ones, especially for the ones who have to pay for room and board too. I went to college in my own town. I also had to take the extra money financial aid gave me, I used it for the yearly taxes on our house and for Christmas fund. One income with 4 kids was hard even though hubby made good money.
I wish someone would have shared with me all the options for grants but ignorance is not an excuse right!? haha.