What to do when you don't really like being around one of your fiances kids
I have an almost perfect situation except for my fiancé' younger child. He is 9 years old and acts about 3. He has trouble pronouncing multiple words correctly and because he's difficult to understand he shouts loudly. He also talks constantly, even interrupting if anyone else is talking. He makes a huge mess anytime he eats anything, doesn't take his shoes off even he comes in, stands and rolls around on the couch, throws his dirty socks and clothes on the floor...I could go on and on.
My fiancés daughter is the opposite. She's only two years older but can do everything age appropriate for her age and is always happy, helpful, and a complete joy to be around. The Bio mom has made comments about me favoring their daughter, which seems ridiculous to me. I try to be fair, but the daughter is very fun for me the be around and I don't really enjoy being around the son. It's also interesting because the Bio mom very obviously favors her don, doing everything for him, and giving both kids the same privileges, even though they aren't the same age.
My fiancé is trying to work on his sons behavior but I'm just very hesitant about if it can improve and have to co-exist with a child so spoiled and bratty.
Has his hearing been checked?
Has his hearing been checked?
It sounds like the mother is
It sounds like the mother is infantilizing him. He may really have a hearing/speech problem but mom thinks it so cute so doesn't address it. I actually knew 3 kids 12, 8,7, where the youngest was infantilized and the oldest could not do anything the youngest couldn't do. So nothing was age appropriate for anyone. I'm assuming autism or other learning disorder has been ruled out because the schools usually sniff those out pretty good. Anything to get them more money.
Whats your visitation like?
Whats your visitation like?
Thank you for your comments!
Thank you for your comments! Visitation is every other weekend and every Thursday night.
Sounds like my situation too.
Sounds like my situation too. I can handle my SD(12), but the SS10 acts like he is about 5 and annoys the crap out of me. He won't speak up when he wants something, but will just point and grunt and my bf will still cater to him instead of making him do anything on his own. Pick up his dishes, deliver food to him, I've even caught the bf FEEDING SS WITH A SPOON! :O
There is nothing wrong with him other than the fact that he is small for his age, but the bf always makes excuses and makes SS out to be the victim.
In any case, I just avoid SS when he is around now. I figure if bf isn't willing to do anything to change his behavior and refuses to take any of my suggestions then I'll just disengage and avoid them when together as much as possible The only bright side I can offer is that he WILL grow up lol Maybe a lot slower and it may take a lot longer than others, but there will come a time when he won't act like a baby any longer. I know it's hard in the meantime though and unless your DH is willing to try to change his ways and take any of your suggestions on improving then your hands are pretty much tied and you can only either wait it out or leave. Sorry, but at least you're not the only one.
My nephew (DW's sister's kid)
My nephew (DW's sister's kid) has a speech issue that drives me nuts. The only problem he actually has is that he and his parents are lazy. When I speak with him I insist that he speak clearly which he can do flawlessly. As soon as his parents are around he goes back to his slurred unclear speech and when anyone asks "What did you say?" he yells it.
Since his parents and just about everyone else he spends regular time with are too lazy to force him to speak clearly DW and I have both suggested that they request that the school set him up with the district speech therapist. But, they won't do it. They don't want to embarrass him or have his classmates tease him. Funny, I would think that his speech would get him teased and no one needs to know he is seeing a speech therapist. :?