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DH comes home tonight.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Sat, 10/13/2012 - 10:31am

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Adult Stepchildren

DH is coming back for a few days to do some work on the house as we are putting it on the market soon. I will be moving away from SD - she lives around 12 houses away. This is when the problems really started for us - several years ago. DH's status is still unknown. He has been living at our cottage and staying away from SD although I am sure they chat on the phone a few times a week. I don't really know, but the phone chatting doesn't seem to get him riled up as much as the in person visits.

I hope we can get through this move which will likely take several months without too much pain and stress. I alway feel anxious when DH is back at the house as SD will ramp up her case on DH as why we are leaving her and the gkids. boo hoo.

Wish me luck.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Sat, 10/13/2012 - 10:47am

ug, i had a new post and it disappeared.

Basically, I need the equity in our house to buy a new house. DH cannot afford both house and cottage on his own.

I am moving forward and if his love is strong enough to stand up to SD and build a new life together somewhere else there is a chance.

I am doing what is best for me and our BS. He is a free agent and can do whatever he thinks is best for him. I still love him but will not engage in the drama and games he and SD have been involved in. I don't think we will make it for the long haul, but I am prepared for that.

One step at a time LOL.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Sat, 10/13/2012 - 8:20pm

Thanks. I am feeling better every week, as long as DH is not involved with the games. Should they start up again, i am ready. I will not partake and I am spending most of my weekend getting the house ready to list for sale. DH is painting next week. I bought some large plastic containers today to store stuff and move when ready. Looking forward to a new home with no bad memories. The SD's lived in our house when they were young too.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Sat, 10/13/2012 - 11:43pm

20years. So very sorry you are being forced to move elsewhere. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by your son and for yourself. This crap with your husbands daughter has gone on far too long. The damaged it has caused to your physical and emotional health and to your marriage is disgraceful. Your husband should be thoroughly ashamed of himself for allowing it to come to this. However I am glad you have found the strength to move and to build yourself a better life. Whatever the outcome with your husband I am sure being well away from his daughter can only be a very good thing for you. Good luck with the new home. I wish you every happiness.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Sat, 10/13/2012 - 11:44pm

20years. So very sorry you are being forced to move elsewhere. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by your son and for yourself. This crap with your husbands daughter has gone on far too long. The damaged it has caused to your physical and emotional health and to your marriage is disgraceful. Your husband should be thoroughly ashamed of himself for allowing it to come to this. However I am glad you have found the strength to move and to build yourself a better life. Whatever the outcome with your husband I am sure being well away from his daughter can only be a very good thing for you. Good luck with the new home. I wish you every happiness.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Sun, 10/14/2012 - 10:45am

Good for you! Your priorites lie with you and your son now. Your DH is a VERY lucky man to be getting the chance to work things out with you after what you have gone through with he and SD. You have given more than your share. Good luck whichever way you go. (((HUGS)))