DH and I are planning to go out to visit with YSD. We've made these plans known for a while now and it's safe to say everyone from YSD of course to DHs' eldest to BM know when we plan to visit YSD

So weekend before last we're talking with YSD and she says that DH's eldest daughter tells her that SSIL has a work trip for that month (same month our visit is planned for) and that they plan to come out to visit with her then

DH asks YSD if she know when during the month as this is when we were planning to go

YSD says no, DH's eldest didn't tell her that

DH asks YSD if she can please find out because he knows she will want to take time off work for both visits, and doesn't want her stressed because she can only take so much time off

YSD brushes if off and just tells DH to book our trip don't worry about it :?

DH says to me after the call that he doesn't think his eldest daughter is doing this with malice, that this is as simple as YSD says.

I disagree.

So much doesn't add up to me. H's eldest daughter doesn't know the dates :? okay so maybe she doesn't but you would think she would have the courtesy to at least call DH and say hey dad I know you and Disillusioned are going out to visit YSD and SSIL and I have an opportunity to go that same month, what dates are you guys going etc... etc...

That of course would be asking too much

So, if DH and I go ahead and book our days that month to see YSD and then DH's eldest and her family go out a week or two before us for example, that screws up our trip/YSD as she can only take so much time off work

Of course there is the possibility DH's eldest and her family will be going at the exact same time as us. And in a way it's again unfair to DH as he won't get to have that time with YSD as planned, it will be one big family event along with DH's eldest using SGS to steal the show

I didn't get into it with DH as personally I could care less about his eldest being there if DH and YSD aren't concerned of course I prefer not to have to put up with DH's eldest daughter but I'm not changing how I treat YSD (like the appreciated SD she is to me) just because her elder nasty sister is there

If DH sits back and allows his eldest to do whatever she pleases once again and ruins his visit with YSD, well, that is DH's problem to deal with sadly.

You would think one of these days DH would stand up for himself and say something, who knows, if this ruins his much anticipated trip out to YSD hopefully it will at least make him think