You are here

FaceBoook and In-laws

AVR1962's picture

Submitted by AVR1962 on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 4:04am

Forums: 
Adult Stepchildren

In August when 27 year old stepson went off on his dad and I for not attending his daughter's first birthday which bio mom was planning to attend, I took all of my inlaws off my FaceBook acct. Past issues have been that no matter the situation my husband's family would get wind of an issue with me/us and the boys and inlaws would point blame at me, defend the boys.....gossip, drama, and I was done. This is after 18 years of marriage.

I got an email today from one of the cousins saying how I hurt her feelings for taking her off my friends and didn't understand why. Maybe I would have been best to ignore it but no one has ever asked to hear what I feel or what I have been thru. They just expect me to keep taking and keep taking.

So I finally told someone (this cousin) how I felt. I do not want anymore trouble form this family. The boys have been gone for years but still running their mouths on what an awful person I am. I have no intentions to accept the friendship of the cousin and infact just trying to figure out if having the account is even worth all the hassle.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 7:41am

Keep the account. Just don't be friends with anyone that doesn't bring joy to your life. I have my family on there, but I block them from most of my posts. Especially anything that relates to my frustration with BM or SD. They always have a comment. I don't want or need to hear.

I hope you feel better having told the cousin, maybe she will mention it to the rest of the family. That would at least make me feel better that someone said something. Won't change them.

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 8:17am

regardless who is family, if they cause any more drama in my life, i auto delete them from my facebook. One of my bil's is deleted because he cussed my sdaughter out in front of me, dh and the 2 other kiddos and my mil and fil then because i stood up for her and told him not to talk to them like that he cussed me out.....not playing on that ball team.

i'm half tempted to remove all my pictures and delete my account all together, BUT fcbk is the only way i talk to a lot of people i really enjoy talking to.

dunno :?

Asher10's picture

Submitted by Asher10 on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 8:23am

You should set your account so your name isn't searchable anymore.that way no one can send you messages because they won't be able to find you:)

AVR1962's picture

Submitted by AVR1962 on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 2:01pm

Great idea, I feel so old about all this but I will check my settings and so how this is possible. Thanks for the tip!

whatcanido's picture

Submitted by whatcanido on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 3:54pm

Ahhhhh-the joys of Facebook. Funny thing is, more drama comes from it. In the good ol' days, Rags help me on this, we actually had to call and talk to people or actually go and see them--if they were special to us. Now, if we "friend" someone on Facebook and we drop the account or block contact with people we barely talk to or know--we are "bad". That's all I need--more guilt for not being the perfect people pleaser. Biggrin The bottom line is if someone is in your life and involved, they'd understand why you weren't talking etc. Gossip by mouth is a thing of the past--now its gossip by watching Facebook status, gossip by text, etc. Facebook just causes more drama, IMO. Sometimes less is more--as in, the less I know about others, the more I feel better...... Wink

AVR1962's picture

Submitted by AVR1962 on Sun, 01/09/2011 - 1:38am

My adults daughters and I talked about this......picking up the phone and calling rather than emails and text messages. Something got lost along the way! Yeah, FaceBook is just a new form of gossip. I did nix my friend's list in about half. I had to really think why I had these people on there.....old school mates that I saw pass in the hallway 30 years ago.....that's crazy! People I know I would dodge if I saw them in my hometown if I went back, what? Inlaws that I met once. These are not friends, I do not have relationships with these people nor do I see a relationship forming because of FaceBook. I did try to tighten my privacy settings, took my maiden name off and deleted school info.

My husband's 20something neice who contacted me with hurt feelings can just go suck her thumb. I doubt that I will even see her again. We have never spoke on the phone, we don't exchange Christmas cards, we don't email each other and never have but somehow we were to have something thru FaceBook? NO! Rediculous! And you know, if this was my husband who had taken this cousin off his account, I seriously do not think she would have questioned him. If she write me again, I will ignore her email.

whatcanido's picture

Submitted by whatcanido on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 4:18pm

And I know "more better" isn't proper grammar/English, but I had to make my point. Then, the OCD side of myself couldn't quit thinking about how bad that sounds and eventually I had to give in and come back and correct myself.....I'm sure, none of you guys are obsessive about menial stuff like this.....hahahahahaha