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Forgotten on Mother's Day

Emerald_Loki's picture

First, let me apologize if this topic is already out there for discussion.   My husband's children were all adults when we married.    I don't expect any of them to ever refer to me as their step mother since I did not have any part in raising them.    I do want to ask if anyone else feels saddened by not being acknowledged at all on Mother's Day.    I was taught to respect everyone and to treat people the way you desire to be treated.   My mother had several older ladies that were her friends and I always told them Happy Mother's Day.   No, they were not related to me in any way, but it sure brought a smile to their faces when someone acknowledged them.  My friends who have children and I always text each other on Mother's Day to say Happy Mother's Day.    But not a single one of his kids have said a word to me on Mother's Day.    Not just this past weekend, but for the past 4 years that we have been married.   Last year, I even sent a text to the oldest who has children of her own and told her Happy Mother's Day.   The reply was simply, "Thanks"    However, she always posts on a couple of social media sites and brags about what she bought for her mother and her husbands mother.   And always makes plans to meet somewhere for lunch with their moms.

Don't get me wrong,  I don't care about any gifts.    It would just be nice to be told Happy Mother's Day.   I casually mentioned it to my husband last week and he was surprised they haven't said anything to me.   Then he said, "well, they probably just didn't think about it."

Am I being overly sensitive?

notarelative's picture

All kids, mime and his, were adults when we married. We've been married 20 years. The only year I got an acknowledgment was the year DH was babysitting while SD worked and SD saw me when doing pickups. I got a blank card that was inscribed Enjoy Your Day.

Emerald_Loki's picture

Thanks for your response.  At least I know that I'm not alone.    It actually made me wonder if I had done something to offend them and they were too polite to not say anything but just left me out of such things.

tog redux's picture

No, I don't expect it or want it. I also don't generally just tell people (other than my own mother) Happy Mother's Day - so sounds more like a tradition you hold that others might not.

Emerald_Loki's picture

Understandable.   If you didn't grow up telling anyone other than your mom HMD, then that makes sense.   But I do know these girls tell other women (friends and family) HMD, just not me.  Oh well.   Just another losing battle I guess.   I just wanted some feedback to see how others see it.

FinallySkidFree's picture

If you didn't have any children of your own, I would question why it offended you. But seeing as how you are a mother, yes, I understand how you feel. A simple acknowledgement goes a long way. My SS28 text me on MD to wish me a HMD. SD20 did not. I was pleasantly surprised that SS did, not at all surprised or bothered that SD didn't. It is what it is. 

Merry's picture

My skids did not wish me a happy mother's day either. I'm not sure DH did  (we don't have children together). I didn't expect it and it didn't upset me at all.

I don't think this speaks to an underlying issue you're not seeing. If you generally get along with them, count your blessings. That's not to say your disappointment is misplaced--an acknowledgement would have been nice--but your husband's children don't see it the same way you do. And that's ok.

Rags's picture

Rude is rude.  The rude are not people anyone should give a shit about regardless of who they are.  

So, focus on being your DD-15's mom.  Share your pride in that. Make your MD with your daughter special, publish it with full joy on your social media.  

Living well is the best revenge. So live well, and particularly well on MD that you spend happily with your DD and your DH if he is on your team.  Which I certainly hope he is.  Including your DH in your MD celebrations may just send a very pointed message to the rude.

Stepdrama2020's picture

RUDE IS RUDE.

What a bitch when you wished SD HMD and not in return.

Skids are "allowed" to pull she aint my mother to the SM, but anyone else who ISNT their mother its ok to wish HMD.

We know dang well that with most of these skids, especially snotty entitled SD's, that purposeful slights are their MO. 

Now you know, do not ever do anything "mom like" for the skids. Give what you get lady, which isnt much. 

No Name's picture

I could have written the above.  I have been with DH for 18 years.  Not once have his children every acknowledged me on Mother's Day.  Hey I get it, I am not their Mother but as you said I say Happy Mother's Day to adult women that cross my path.  Just like you when oldest SD had her first child I wished her a Happy first Mother's day and just like you I got the response "thanks".  I mean seriously she couldn't have wished me a Happy Mother's Day also?  And yes I have bio children. So from that day, I never wished any of them a Happy Mother's Day.  Well I just about fell over this year when the youngest SD sent me a text that wished me a Happy Mother's Day.  I responded by wishing her one also. You just never know.  I have learned to stop being so generous as it has never, every been reciprocated in anyway, ever.  I no longer give them birthday cards or birthday gifts nor do I even wish them a happy birthday as they have never, ever as much as acknowleged my birthday.  After many years of having hurt feelings and feeling resentful I just quit giving.  Life is a bit easier this way.  I do however get for their children.  

KC is not the stepmother's picture

I'm not a mom, and I'm Dad's Wife, but SD34 has been known to tell me what she wants for Mother's Day. 

Stepdrama2020's picture

She tells you what she wants for mothers day?  How bout a swift kick in the ass!

Reading about these SD's makes my blood boil.