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Had one good moment with SS18 then whammo bad moment again with SD22 again -- will it ever end?!! Wish she'd just go away forev

momof5_1969's picture

Yesterday SS18 got sick -- lost his vision,very blurry, nauseated, bad headache, slurred speech, near fainting, so basically i told him "I'm taking you to the doctor." I knew this could be a migraine or something more serious. So called doc and they got us in immediately. The great thing about living in a small town that knows the family name. Get down there and they say what i think is happening which is a migraine, but they want me to take him to hospital to have a CT scan done -- SS18 didn't want to go. He was worried that it was going to cost a lot of money, worried he was going to miss his class, etc. i reassured him not to worry about the cost that he needed to go for crying out loud! Sweet for him to worry about that. Anyways. So he went to his class which is at the fire department and promised that if he took a turn for the worse that he would call one of us and we'd come get him.

Needless to say, the paramedics ended up taking him by ambulance last night to the ER because he started slurring his words again, nearly passed out, couldn't answer questions or talk coherantly. My husband called me and we met them at the ER. After multiple tests they think it was due to a sinus infection way deep inside of his head that was found via the CT scan that possibly triggered a migraine -- he's never had migraines before. We didn't get home till midnight.

I was by his side through the whole thing. When I was driving him home last night I could tell he was really touched and humbled, and he thanked me for "holding his hand' through the whole ordeal and told me he couldn't have done it without me. ahhhh. Even told me that he thought I was doing a good job -- even though he doesn't tell me often that. I really needed that with all that I've been through with his sisters (SD17 and SD22).

So today DH, BD18, SS18 and myself are home sick, and SD17 decides after she does a university visit with one of her friends that she is going to go visit her sister 20 mins away, but doesn't ask or tell us that she's doing this until she is at her sister's house. Keep in mind, we have had years of issues with her sister (SD22) and now SD22's boyfriend. So, again, we're all home sick. SD17 had a sports even she had to be at, and assumes that i'm just going to drop everything and drive 40 mins round trip to pick her up -- because I've got nothing better to do. I asked her how she got there -- by her friend's dad. i told her she should have asked me first and I asked if her sister could bring her home, because we were all home sick. So several texts later, she now starts calling her Dad (my DH) and texting her dad) who is downstairs sleeping he is so sick (which i told her). So I just let the phone ring because it says that SD22 is calling. I'm not waking up DH who is sick over this. So DH wakes up and i talk to him about it, and he says he'll just go get her -- so i tell her this, and ask her if she still needs a ride home. No response. She then texts her dad. he still doesn't have his phone. She never responded to me. So I didn't send him off to pick her up.

So SD22's boyfriend brings SD17 home. He comes into the house, and I asked him what he was doing here. SD22 hasn't spoken to me since June 2011 and he hasn't been in our house since November 2011. SD22 is not welcome in our house because of how she has treated me. So i'm friendly to him and he responds to me and says that he brought Nicole home, and I told him thank you that i appreciated that because we were all home sick - and thanked him again. Then he has the gall to ask me for gas money. i said 'seriously?!" He says "yes" -- again I asked him "seriously"? He said yes. So i asked him how much, and he asked for $10!! It's 20 miles round trip, but most of the trip is through town that is usually busy at the time she wanted me to pick her up.

So I went down to SD17's room and asked her for $10 for gas money, since she put herself in this position. Then SD22's boyfriend says thanks for the $$ and i told him to thank SD17 because she paid for it. Her dad was going to pick her up, why should I pay this joker $10 when it doesn't cost that frickin' much money for him to drive out to our place?! Ticked me off!

My DH was ticked off. SD17 got an earfull when SD22's boyfriend left. She wanted to start playing the victim like this had to do with the problems between us and her sister, when it had nothing to do with her sister and everything to do with SD17 and her lack of communication and respect for other people's time (mainly mine).

I'm sure that SD22 spends most of her time bad mouthing me while her siblings are there -- I have no doubt about it. The look that SD22's boyfriend had when he came in was not a welcoming look, and was a look like he was looking for a fight. As far as I'm concerned he can just not let the door hit him in the ass on the way out! He's been feeding off of SD22's poison for so long that is all he can see now. So whatever.

So the nice moment was when my SS18 acknowledged me and was kind and thanked me -- he doesn't do that very often -- the not so nice moment was the whole issue with SD17 and SD22. I realize it was a bad circumstance to get that moment with SS18, but i'll take it.

Just wish SD22 would get out of my life and stay out of my life. I've left her alone -- she just wants to create drama -- her and her boyfriend. And now she has a baby to throw into the mix. To be quite honest I wish my DH wouldn't go visit her or reward her behavior until she makes nice with me, but maybe that's selfish of me.

momof5_1969's picture

My DH basically has said now that he's done -- says that if her boyfriend is there he's not going over, and SD22 is not allowed in our home, so basiclly he says he's probably not going to be seeing her at all. i'm totally fine with that. I felt like she was being rewarded for her behavior with him and his kids going over and visiting her, without me, just like she wants.

The reason I made SD17 pay for it is she put herself in that position of not having a ride home and not asking first and wanting me to be at her beck and call. We've already had this talk with her numerous times about asking first before she goes and makes plans. When SD22's bf was leaving and thanked me for the money, I told him to thank SD17....then I heard him gun his car out of there super fast, turned it around down the street and then went by our house going probably about 40 miles an hour -- it's a 25 mile an hour residential street. punk! he's been feeding on SD22's lies.

My DH said that this really showed him bf's true nature. He says if getting his daughter knocked up out of wedlock wasn't enough -- this did it. kinda made me laugh. Seriously -- after all the crap they've pulled and this was what put him over the edge. Well, I guess whatever it takes!

Jsmom's picture

I agree with above. I truly believe the boys are nicer to us and more compassionate and the SD's are just plain vicious...

imthewife's picture

You were right to have Sd pay for her gas money. If they are grown up enough to decide to leave without proper transportation, they can pay to get home. Entitlement runs amuck again!

I would have thrown that punk BF outta the house the minute he asked for it.

momof5_1969's picture

The crazy thing is that she had transportation to get home, she just chose to have her transportation drop her off at her sister's house rather than bring her home -- without asking first. If she'd have asked first, I'd have said no. I didn't want to leave the house yesterday because i was feeling so sick. I asked her what if i'd been babysitting or something, how would you have gotten home? She says "well i asked you last night if you were babysitting today and you said no." i told her that didn't mean that i was available to just run around and be at her beck and call just because i'm not babysitting! Sheesh! And yes, you're right, entitlement runs amuck!!

momof5_1969's picture

Tried to talk to SD17 today and she is so pissed off she won't even come out of her room today except to eat. My DH said that she apologized last night to him over the situation because when we were trying to talk to her about it, she refused to open her bedroom door and then when she did open it she began yelling at both of us at the top of her lungs.

Then tells us all we do is yell at her. Yelled at her because she wouldn't open the door -- yelled at her because she was being disprectful -- yelled at her because had to talk over the top of her to get her to listen to us! She kept saying it wasn't her fault.

This is a saying that three of his four kids tend to say a lot ---- "it's not my fault" -- today my DH asked me if he himself accepts responsibility for his actions, and I think he does, but did tell him that i didn't think he'd taught his kids, but that it still waasn't too late. DH's wheels are turning and he's really starting to wake up. I can tell he feels bad, and it's hard to watch, but necessary.

So when I talked to her earlier she told me she didn't want to talk because she was in a bad mood and didn't want to take it out on me. She won't even look at my DH and I today. She's pissed. I did ask her if she had accepted responsibility for her actions. She shook her head yes. But we'll see.

I did tell her i was concerned about her being around her sister because of the fact that her sister bad mouths me, and SD17 and I have worked really hard to get where we are and don't want SD22 to ruin what we have. i asked her to please remember what we have done together and the things i have done for her and how I have shown her I love her and for her to remember those things. So we'll see.