Have you given your dh the Stepmonster book to read??
A little bit about my situation. I am 37, dh is 54. We married three years ago and dated three years prior to that. His kids (he has six) were fine with me it seemed until we got married. I have been HATING Christmas when the visit. He only sees his kids once or twice a year because he works overseas and they live 7 hours away. I have been lurking on here for a few days and got the book Stepmonster after many people had mentioned it. I told my dh that perhaps if he reads the book before he gets here for Christmas that this one will be different and he will better understand me, his kids and the whole step situation more better then me always pulling him into the room and having him look :? dumfounded at what I am saying.
So, ladies has your hubbies also read the book Stepmonster and did it help???
I am now to the point where I dont care. After only three years of marriage dealing with 4 grown stepkids who are unappreciative I have officially... DISENGAGED!! And I feel so much better about it! No more caring, phone calls or presents or emails only to be ignored. I am done!! (ok.. got off topic but just had to vent! lol)
Yes my husband has read some
Yes my husband has read some of the book - don't think he has the patience to read it all the way through. It's been an eye opener for him as it seems he was better able to look at the situation through my eyes and see where he has gone wrong in the whole process. My situation also sounds quite similar to yours in terms of spousal age difference and geographical distances between us all. I have to tell you, when I read all these other posts of SMs in desperate situations I can at least be grateful that I have only had to see my skids once/twice a year. However, since reading the book I have not been in the same room as my skids and DH all together so I wouldn't be able to tell you if it's effected his ability to suss out skid drama as it's unfolding, which, I understand from your post, is what you're looking for. My skids are both in their 20's and since DH has been guilt-parenting for nearly 2 decades, I would seriously question his ability to change that overnight even though he now has a different perspective on it.