How do we keep Sks away from us if we become incapacitated?
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While reading another post, the thought occurred to me, and I didn't want to hijack the original post. There was a comment that the SKs would rather hold a pillow up to step parent's face than do what was necessary to save there life. I'm just wondering if DH dies first and I become incapacitated. I never gave birth to children and my adoptive children are out of my life. Would this mean that SD would have the legal right to determine what kind of care I receive? How do we make sure the Skids stay out of our life after our spouses die?
Your SD would have no legal
Your SD would have no legal right to determine anything for you. You are legal strangers. However, you should get an Advance Care Directive and a Living Will. Make sure someone has Medical Power of Attorney for you. You should do this not because of the SD - but because everyone should have them.
My Mom had a stroke and having all these documents in place has made everything so much easier. I can talk to all of her medical providers with no problems. I also have a Power of Attorney for all of her other affairs and that has really helped as well. I swear that it it more difficult to talk to the phone company than the bank as far as trying to do anything for her. She and my Dad took care of all of this years ago and it has made a trying time much easier.
^^^^^This. Took the words
^^^^^This. Took the words right out of my mouth^^^^^
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your responses. Forever and ever, I knew your were joking - I could just visualize my SD in back of that pillow and it scared me into actually doing something. Thank you! I've been holding back on wills and living wills, etc., just lazy - and maybe a little bit cheap. LOL I have now downloaded the living will and will not waste time.
A living Will and a durable
A living Will and a durable medical power of attorney for a trusted friend or family member should minimize this risk.
Get your legal stuff in order
Get your legal stuff in order immediately. Yes, this fear runs both ways. You worry about them manipulating your spouse or you. I knew one woman whose kids basically hijacked her husband when he was end stage and had him sign a new will. They tried to have her evicted from their home. All due to greed, and their fear that they would lose money. The woman was lucky that she had a good attorney in her family to put things right. I cannot even begin to imagine what the mess would have cost someone who was not so fortunate. The craziest part was that she never had a bad relationship with his kids, and did not imagine that they would do such things. The even tried to bar the hospice from permitting her access, saying that they were divorcing and it would only upset their father in his final days seeing her which was all nothing but outright lies. That's how vile it can get!