I'm special and I know it......
So luckily(?) dh's daughter has returned from her adventures abroad. No phone calls, nada. Just the college bill, so he sends his money right on time, and hope his ex pays her share. I must say that his ex is extraordinary. She took him to court numerous times for cell phones, cars, private colleges for her princesses, all over the age of 18 at the time.....but the real kicker was she paid not a dime of her share college tuition for oldest daughter. All the while dh is bastardized by her and her cult. The girls are enmeshed with her and each other. Dh was forced to fund an abortion and then later birth control for one of them.....no shame. So that is some background history.......
This weekend, he gets a copy of the payment history. No surprise......his payment the only made on the acct and he sees that ex is on payment plan.....no interest....all because he pays large amt on time! Ha ! You can figure it out, she only sends money if her hand is held to the fire. Nice mother right? I tell dh to let it go, why does he care about daughters who have kicked him so many times?
He calls daughter, who spouts her usual victim mantra...." Oh, why do you care? Mom gives me everything, she sent me money while I was abroad...she even pays for my birth control! In 8 months, I will never hear from you again." ( I assume she is referring to emancipation when she grad, at age 22, and forgets all the times dh reaches out to her, with little reciprocity.)
Dh reminded her of the monthly child support of 1500 k! So likely it was his money that ex was sending her, but she could care less.
He called ex, who emailed she would pay her share today. I have no doubt that if dh did not comment, she wouldn't pay and daughter would need to take out more loans.
And this is the person dh was going to drive 10 hrs to visit at her college? It really is clear, has been clear for years, that his daughters have no emotional connection nor interest in him as a father. It is entitlement, pure and simple. This younger daughter was very enmeshed with daddy, she had no ability to self soothe, and was a bottomless pit of need, with no reciprocity. She could not stand another in daddy's circle.
Will dh smell the coffee? Unbelievably I do not think he is there.
In this crazy state, one must
In this crazy state, one must get an emancipation order, and that usually occurs at college graduation. This daughter plans on grad school and unbelievably, she could make a case that dh needs to continue paying child support to his ex AND pay for her grad school tuition.
She went abroad for a semester and then remained there this summer.
What makes me angry is that they do not want anything to do with dh except his money, and IMHO, that makes them no better than prostitutes. They are shameless in their pursuit of his money. And all the while they are victims. Classic. The years have gone by, 5 years now since I have seen them. I will never forget inviting them to a brunch before I was married to their father. The oldest walked in, and threw some bills for dh down on his computer. So vulgar!
At my urging, he did consult
At my urging, he did consult an attorney he has used in the past. No, you can basically spit in your parent's face, and they will still have to support you through college.
And the real hypocrisy is that their beloved mother only pays when forced. She would happily sit back and let dh pay, and her daughter take loans for HER court ordered payments for college tuition.
The whole thing is repulsive. And yes, I do have a hard time respecting dh. However, he set up this scenario with their mother. What boyfriend, only out of college himself, PAYS for college tuition for their girlfriend to go away to a private college, and understands when she starts dating other guys????? He told me he thought she needed to get it out of her system??!! The girls have seen dh abused by their mother their whole lives, and they themselves alternate between abuser and abused. Not any system I would ever be a part of...
And in adding up the monies,
And in adding up the monies, just in the past 4 years of her college, dh will have paid out over 90 K! 40 k to ex, who now lives out of state and the last time her daughter lived with her was well over a year ago. 50 K college tuition, and he gets vilified at every turn. Dh and I are middle class people and this kind of money should be used for retirement. Dh has no savings at all, but one can easily see why. Changes need to be made at a state level. If she was not entitled to this money, things might have been different....yes she likely would have manipulated him for it, but this just produces whores. God help the people she tries to have a relationship with, or her own children.