It's just been transformed.  Your SD's behaviors are classic jealous behaviors, which she is carrying into adulthood.  She is trying to ice you out because she wants to be top dog with Daddy.  Since she's not a little kid she can't realistically scream and cry that she hates you and wants Daddy all to herself, so she has adopted these not-so-passive means to essentially piss on her territory.

Deep down, your DH (like many) probably likes the attention she is giving him.  Given a choice, many guilty daddys will prefer to get attention from their daughters than their wives, which is a sad but real truth.

What to do about it?  I wish I had an answer.  I am 15+ years in and no matter what, I know that if push came to shove my SO would pick his daughter.   Especially now since there is a gskid involved.  

I'd say take a look at the disengagement section.  Try not to be around when SD comes over, don't engage with her beyond a polite greeting, etc.   However, even disengagement isn't the perfect solution as it still leaves resentment ...sometimes simmering, sometimes boiling.  And that resentment can be like a dripping acid on the relationship. 

Too Tired is spot on and it sounds like you have a daddee much like most of us. I found the worst thing to do is to be with them, at all...for me.  My husband is not changing and I am not tolerating this crazy juvenile insanity (just as you described), so my peace is away from it. Oh, they will keep trying to draw you in, but going back is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Regardless, these people, including DH, never change.  Over time you will see what you have to do for yourself; for most of us--it took years of abuse.

I think it did bother me the most when it happened to me in my own house, for some reason.I kind of got used to it every where else, which was equally as sick.

Disengagement is not a perfect solution, but I do have an excellent husband in all other ways. However, when his mistress needs her family throne (any time I am around); I am out in the cold. Thank goodness I woke up to realize that is actually good place for me.

What I would give to never have to be in her presence ever again? I certainly wouldn't complain over them not including me, I beg to not be apart but somehow they find a way to engage me. Be happy they don't include you and find something else to do when she comes around. 

I also struggle with SD20 and her very intrusive or jealous behavior towards me. And I find it hard to give any useful advice since I have not resolved it myself, so it would most likely be like the blind leading the blind. I will, however, give some observations that gave me some insight into the mechanics behind this behavior that may or may not resonate with your situation. So here goes, in the beginning, I thought this kind of behavior was her hating me, trying to get rid of me, and taking my place in my relationship with DH, a mini-wife, plain evil and simple. 

However, I started to notice that she would only be clingy on her father if I were present. In fact, when I began to go on holidays or trips alone with DD, she would not take the opportunity to spend alone time with DH. Instead, she would leave once I had left and come back just hours before or upon my arrival home. While on the other hand, when DH would go on weekend getaways, she would come rushing to our house and stay with me and DD. Also, I  noticed that at a recent time when she and DH were alone in the house, she would be alone in her room, and he would be in the living room. She had asked me so many times when do you get back?(I really did not understand why she was so focused on that) And I said I don´t know precisely. Once I entered the house, she went nearly running to sit next to him on the sofa(I guess this was why she wanted to know when I was home, so that she could time her positioning in the sofa perfectly upon my arrival). I have also noticed that she is coping a lot of my behavior, almost stalker-ish. And she is focusing on me almost like she is studying me. If I get a haircut, she will get a haircut, if I buy something she will buy it, if I go somewhere she will go there. She will even copy the way I sit, talk, or use my jokes. 

Almost like she is competing with me or trying to become me. This became even more evident, at a family dinner with DH family she was talking a lot about herself like she always does, but the person she described as her self- was me, not her. In SD20 case, I already think she is a narcissist, lacking empathy and compassion. So I think she is struggling to become a functional adult because of the identity and social problems that come with this personality disorder and her laziness. I am a hardworking and social woman. I think this is why she is focused on me, not because of DH. (I know that you should never diagnose anyone without beeing a professional, but it would connect the dots in my case) 

This became long, sorry,  but what I found out was that I was the one feeding her supply. Sadly, the only way she enjoyed time with DH was if I played the role of the outsider. Kind of, like a mean girl that will only enjoy her birthday party if someone is singled out and not invited to the party and feeling the pain of that. 

I used to feel like I should stay in my home so that she did not have the power to push me out of my own home. But now I know better, staying only means I am part of her sick mind game. The best option for me is to focus on myself, seek hobbies and activities away from home and enjoy life. Staying home alone with dad is just too boring, and she is not given the supply she needs. 

The next time she pulls this "jumping in your breath of air," just look at your DH and say; "you enjoy your visit, I am going to do an errand, is there anything we need, while I am running my errands?"  Then find something relaxing to do for at least 2 hours. 

If DH questions it when you return, like mine did, just tell him the truth about how you feel.  Tell him you will find something relaxing to do, before you will tolerate her immature actions.

If your SD does this and you don't want to leave, ask her to have a seat elsewhere.  Tell her, "you can have a nice visit, without sitting on your Dad's lap.  In our home, that is where you show me respect and stop the games."  Be blunt in a calm and civil tone, in front of your DH.  It will only take once to solve the issue.  Stand your ground firm and civil.  I have also done this.  It worked.  My SD never stops, so I handle it case by case.

I say and do everything in front of DH.  Then if confronted, which he has, after SD leaves, I just look him straight in the eye and tell him I will handle it from here, because you have not helped me.  It took me years to get to the aggressive state.

If necessary ask her to "grow up and drop the jealousy, there is no need for the drama."

Good luck.