Does anyone else ever stroll through a shop and see all those warm fuzzy signs and bristle? I am trying to redecorate up at the lake cottage. I want some new picture frames and warm fuzzy stuff. I pick up something and it will say something about family. Boom! Nope can't use that! Ours is blown to bits. I get really bitter looking at these things because you see, I really do believe in family and the strength they can give you and a home you can always go home to.
I do like the sign that says "Friends Welcome, Family by appointment only". Or...."We put the fun in Dysfunctional!" I wouldn't put those up though because I would really MEAN IT in our case and that would just remind me of what life has become. :?

It is inevitable that every soul on this earth is going to experience the loss of a loved one. No one will escape it. It does not give you the right to treat other people with utmost disrespect, hate and be heartless to all around you.

My father lost his mother when he was twelve, I never saw him treat anyone(including his own two stepmothers) with anything but respect. My mother was raised by an abusive alchoholic. She too was a fine example of how to treat others. My own children were only 2 and 4 when their father suffered a traumatic brain injury. Their father has no recollection of who HE was, has no recollection to this day who his younger son was and became an abusive, bitter, lost soul. I could look into his eyes and there is not one speck left of who he was before the accident.

My point is,no matter what kind of pain or loss you may have sustained in life, it does not give you a licence to treat others with little or no regard of their feelings. It does not give you licence to excuse any bad behaviors as "my mom died".

My sons were reminded daily of "golden rule" when they walked out the door to go to school. They were reminded to do their best, feel sorry for others with less talent, skill and brains. And count their blessings! We didn't have much money, I worked two jobs to make ends meet. I put myself through college and now have a very lucrative career. I remarried when they were both in high school. I would have kicked their asses if they ever disrespected their step father. Are they saints? Hah! Far from the truth. Are they adjusted, educated, successful and kind hearted adults? You bet!

My step daughters lost their mother when they were 9 and 12. They were raised by their dad alone until adult hood. They were afforded every luxury in life, college, piano, sports, European trips, cars, any and all academic opportunities they wanted. Their father never dated, never went out to a bar, was home every night with them and was being a loving thoughtful parent. When I came into their lives, I was treated like someone with leprosy. It was not unusual to go over to his home and see hundred of pictures of mom strewn all over the dining table . I was screamed at when he announced a year and half later that we were engaged. It only got uglier, and uglier after that. Everyone excused their behavior. Two adult women acting out ie: dropping out of college, setting up sex dates with internet boyfriends, disappearing and then calling from some phone booth to rescue them. Well, you get it. All this was excused when I would bring up the alarming behavior as ,"well, their mother died you know". Then I would feel like a big jerk. How could I be so intolerant of their behavior?

Well, some of you do know the rest of my story. It didn't turn out well. Little bits of it keep spilling out when I comment on other topics.

Don't tolerate it step parents! It IS unacceptable behavior . Go with your first instincts! Quit doubting yourselves! Don't wait 10, 20 years and then wonder why this "family" blew up in your face! You will find a family even if it is a cat or dog. Protect your heart! If they don't want to be in your lives, then quit trying.

"Friends Welcome, Family by appointment only."