Mooching from our kids.

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I found out shortly after the last post, that skid 19 is not only set for the rest of his life with Social Security, he is TAKING MONEY FROM OUR KIDS. Apparently it falls under an "disabled adult child" category and when said 'disability' begins before age 22 and a bioparent is getting Social Security, he is a beneficiary. Dh injured his back at work 5 years ago (was a grocery store cashier, and now our kids are beneficiaries too but their amount is being reduced due to skid). I have been on the phone with several lawyers, and am hoping we have a decent chance of fighting this. One lawyers secretary, after I mentioned it, agreed that it sounds like biomom basically adopted this kid out (naming him a junior after someone else, marrying dude and dude putting his name on the birth certificate. What kind of screwed up world is this, where WE are paying for BIOMOM'S and DUDE'S selfish, idiotic decisions?

Skid supposedly "feels bad". I told dh if he truly feels bad he wouldn't keep the money when he gets paid. I can almost guarantee he's gonna pocket that money.

Uhm he may be "legally"

Uhm he may be "legally" entitled to the money but he is 19, fully capable of working, and choosing not to. If you'd read the other post, he only stopped b/c of being approved. I don't happen to think it's OK to milk the system just because you don't want to work.

Also when I said "adopted out" I didn't SAY legally and I didn't MEAN legally. The only thing that didn't make it official was they didn't get dh's approval for the other guy to become skid's dad. If a lawyer things that, IN ESSENCE he was ADOPTED OUT--I think he has a point.

If this other guy was going to put his name on the birth certificate, act as a dad-he should NOT get to bow out 10 years down the road just b/c skid was out of control. He and biomom should be paying now if anyone should because THEY messed him up, NOT dh.

I am not following your post

I am not following your post too well so i don't know who this kid belongs to? Is he your dh's child and he was adopted or did your dh adopt him. If he is your dh's son then he has a right to collect ss from his dad. I am kinda confused though.

It doesn't matter what BM put

It doesn't matter what BM put on the birth certificate if there is an order of afilliation/acknowledgement of paternity naming your DH as the legal father...if he has ever paid support for him....or has parenting rights. It doesn't matter if she allows her current husband to "act" as the sons father if indeed legally he is not.

If the fact is that the child is indeed your husbands, then he is just as entitled to his Soc. Sec. benefits as your children with your DH are.

There isn't anything to fight unless your DH is not the biological or legally adoptive father.

Yes steppunk is my husbands

Yes steppunk is my husbands biological 'son' (personally I don't consider ANYONE willing to backstab daddy a real son). BUT-******READ CLOSELY*****

1)Biomom lied about who the real dad was.

2)Biomom married another dude who she named steppunk after and he put his name on the birth certificate, and moved out of state.

(like I explained above, what she basically did was adopt him out. Even a lawyer agrees. If you are going to do that-you make the bed you LIE in your bed. You do NOT have a right to change your mind 10 years after the fact. Do you think adoptive parents should be able to return a kid 10 years later b/c the kid turns out to be messed up???)

3)Dh has NOT paid child support-a lawyer got it dropped with one phone call. (steppunk was born into a marriage making other dude the legal dad).

4)He is "legally" entitled to the money but morally he is not. Even a representative at Social Security agrees with me. He's getting it for "mental issues" which he had plenty of by the time biomom allowed dh into steppunk's life. Dh didn't cause these mental issues, dh shouldn't be the one paying for them. And steppunk was doing fine working before, he just didn't work long enough for it to count against him.

Well, the SKID is not really

Well, the SKID is not really disabled...he's just lazy from what I remember...one of those who claims whatever and gets to collect. Oh, so many of those where I live...pathetic. So yes, he IS taking from her kids. And yes, he IS mooching off the govt and all of you.

By the way, does that mean that if you never worked and were waiting to collect SS based on your DH's job, that you would also receive less because of it? I am not saying that's your case, I am wondering because my DHs mom is way over 62, his "stepdad" collects SS, I know his sister collected it for years, I bet you she STILL collects it...because DH's mom claims she is not eligible for SS...so I wonder if that's why...it sure as hell would be funny, at least in her case.

Your stepson was a grocery

Your stepson was a grocery clerk and hurt his back and now can't work?can't he do something else? Why does he get ss because he can't be a checker anymore at age 19?

That's correct.^^

I don't know how to find

I don't know how to find another post so I'm not sure what it's all about.... I don't understand... Your dh AND 19yo skid are BOTH unable to work a job so they get ss? And the amount your kids will get in the event they also cant work when they grow up will be reduced becuase dh first child cant work?

I thought ss had to do with how much has been contributed. So if dh and skid have used up what dh put in as a grocery clerk before your kids grow up, they don't get anything anyway, right?

Look under adult stepchildren

Look under adult stepchildren forums, it's posted as Why, why, WHYYYYY?????? with me as the poster. Dh gets SS b/c of a back injury, steppunk got approved for a 'mental' disability. Because of SS's stupid rules, steppunk qualifies to get a benefit from dh's SS as a beneficiary-for LIFE.

SS should be based on how much you contribute-but apparently isn't always the case. And no it isn't a set amount, you collect as long as you're disabled.

Look under adult stepchildren

SS should be based on how much you contribute-but apparently isn't always the case. And no it isn't a set amount, you collect as long as you're disabled.

What do you mean that it's

What do you mean that it's not fair dh is paying for skid to get ss. How is he paying for it?

skid is a beneficiary b/c of

skid is a beneficiary b/c of a rule SS has. (disabled adult child if the disability starts before age 22). It's not fair b/c dh didn't screw steppunk up, biomom and dude he's named after did. And he was working just fine before-only quit b/c he gets to milk the system now.

It's not so easy to just

It's not so easy to just "milk" the system in regards to SS. It is not easy to get SS for mental disability. It can take years. My mom is legitimately mentally disabled and unable to work...with tons of medical documentation and it took years to get approved and she had to fight for it.

If your DH's son got approved then it is not his fault. If he is entitled to your DH's benefits due to the SS rules then why is that his fault? Of course he is going to get what he is entitled to if he is truly disabled. It is not his fault! Blame the system if you want but he is hardly mooching.

He has years of

He has years of documentation, MamaBecky-but all these 'issues' of his developed as a result of having a biomom who never told him no to a single thing. EVER. Was his upbringing his fault? Nooo-but at some point adult children ought to be expected to take responsibility for their own actions. I know for a fact that most of steppunks tantrums were premeditated and most if not all of the time they were b/c he didn't get his way about something. To me that doesn't sound like someone with a mental disability it sounds like a manipulative, egotistic, spoiled, narcissitic self-centered PUNK. And it sounds like a pathetic excuse for an 'adult.' (Even a relatively young, immature male 19 year old).

Not only that if he can work as a security guard for a number of months he more likely than not could have kept it up. (There are jobs out there that don't affect your mental health-the only people that should get SS for mental health are if your mental health is so impaired that you don't have the mental capacity to do the work.)

It may not be "his fault" that he got approved, but he KNOWS that he can work and he is still taking free money, and also taking money from his half-brothers. If he chooses (and I'll betcha dollars to donuts he will) to collect money knowing he can do work of some sort, he IS mooching.

Why is it "his fault" if he is "entitled" (though-****AGAIN****-even a Social Security representative doesn't agree he should be getting this money) just b/c a rule/loophole is there doesn't mean that whoever thought it up thought of a good idea.

Answer this: Why should money come out of DH's claim from my children's benefit when dh didn't screw him up?? By the time biomom decided it was OK for him to be in the picture he was already out of control. Do you honestly mean to tell me you can't see why I feel dh, the kids and I are being made to lie in someone else's bed???

My kids receive social

My kids receive social security because of the death of their biofather. They also received it when he was still alive due to disability from his terminal disease.

My children were 3 and 5 when he passed away. They are not entitled to LIFE benefits, only until they are 18 or out of high school per the SSI guidelines.

The number of children have nothing to do with the calculation of social security benefits -- it is based on the % of the disabled/deceased person's income. Disabled benefits is sommething like 40% of the disabled's income. Death benefits are either 70 or 75%, can't remember exactly which one.

I guess I don't understand the LIFE benefits, except in the case of it solely being based on the son's disabilities and not on the dad's. And I don't understand how the # of children receiving benefits is reducing it for all.

And yes, if he's playing the system, he's in fact "filching" the general public.

2)Biomom married another dude

2)Biomom married another dude who she named steppunk after and he put his name on the birth certificate, and moved out of state.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I thought this would actually make the other dude the legal father....?

with child support it did,

with child support it did, which is why the case got dropped with one phone call.

SS is going by who the biological father is. Stupid.

Why do your kids need Social

Why do your kids need Social Security benefits? Are your bio kids already getting social security benefits due to your husband's disability?

my kids need SS benefits b/c

my kids need SS benefits b/c my dh is unable to work.

Frieda, I only take the

Frieda, I only take the PayDays. lol

Mounds for me! Why doesn't

Mounds for me! Why doesn't anyone give out Mounds anymore? sigh. DD12 says she's too old to t&t , guess I have to wait for grands to steal from now!

I still don't understand what

I still don't understand what difference it makes if this kid gets social security. . Your dh isn't getting less because his bio son made a claim is he?

I get that you're irritated he has some claim on ss, but he is you dh kid whether he was named on the bc or not right? Lots of birth parents don't screw up their kids but still pay for it. Look at it this way, at least you didn't have to pay 26 yrs of child support and tuition and health insurance.

Yes we ARE getting less b/c

Yes we ARE getting less b/c bio son made a claim-my KIDS are getting their BENEFITS REDUCED. ***sigh***
It's right on the original post.

We may not have had to pay "26 yrs of chilod support and tuition and health insurance" but last I checked kids became adults at age 18, NOT age 26. He went to public school except during the time he spent in group homes so tuition is a moot point. Health insurance? Uh, yeah, I kinda doubt that-we're on Medi-Cal so we can't even afford our OWN health insurance, much less his. Also did you miss the part where Social Security told me he's set for life??? Unless he dies in the next 10 years or gets a personality transplant or gets married, which would stop his Social Security (in his case he'll probably pop out several kids :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: with different women {and if he thinks I'm going to be a drop-in daycare center he'd better think again}) he's likely going to get a LIFETIME of Social Security benefits.

OK-when a parent is disabled

OK-when a parent is disabled they also get a monthly check for their children; however, there is a cap on the amount. SS sets a "cap" for total family benefits. For example a cap could be 3000.00 a month -with 1500.00 being the payment to the adult/parent and teh remaining 1500 divided between the children. If there are only two children then that's 750.00 a month-however-if there are 15 children each child would only get benefits of 100.00. Understand?

OP's ss has made a claim on the Social security so he now gets a portion of the family benefits. I am guessing because the stepson himself is declared disabled that is why his benefits are for a lifetime.

I would think ssecurity would have to go by who is "legally" on the birth certificate. If is not your dh-then I would think he should be free and clear.

That being said, ssecurity has their own rules. It's not your ss's fault-if he is is mentally disabled, he is mentally disabled-there is obviously some sort of "evidence" out there that supports this-it's not like he's completely making it up=doctors are apparently backing that up.

But the bottom line is that he is still your dh's bio son-if social security recognizes him as such then I think you should just accept it.

Technically speaking he is

Technically speaking he is dh's bio 'son'. But if he had been adopted out legally, I bet Social Security wouldn't have looked at who the bio dad was they would look at who adopted him. The only difference in this situation was the guy who he's named after and bio mom didn't get dh's say-so on the adoption, they were just dishonest. So sorry, I can't accept it. The fact that a lawyer AND a Social Security representative agrees makes it even more impossible.

There is "evidence" that he's disabled b/c he does have doctors who claim he's mentally ill, but in this day and age when you have a punk that out of control, it's not exactly politically correct or kosher (whether it's true or not) to tell a parent they've spoiled their kid rotten and a little good old fashioned discipline ( leather belts across punk's bottoms work wonders No these days there's always a "mental issue" that excuses everything. So yeah there are "doctors backing it up" but that doesn't suddenly make it credible, it just soothes biomom's and steppunks conscience enough to where they can justify their stupidity and narcissism in their sick little minds.

I am curious, to whom is the

I am curious, to whom is the check sent? Who divvies it up once it's cleared at the bank?
Is it that they send the boy a separate check and deduct it from your DH's? I think I'd be looking more closely, maybe the amount is lowered on yours because you are no longer taking care of him? I think it's a pro rata for each child, not a cumulative amount for all of them? I think that would be a huge mistake if a family had only one child and got the same amount as, say, a family of six? I am not au fait with how it works but it seems strange to me that this kid is getting yours and DH's money in his own right past the age of consent. He maybe made a separate claim that you are unaware of, in his own right, past the age of consent? I am not much help to you since I am not clear what is going on...I can only ask questions, that maybe you have not considered? Sorry not to be of more help.

One check is not sent then

One check is not sent then divided up. Each Soc Sec recipient has their own bank account (my kids each have one, with me as a joint owner) and Soc Sec electronically deposts money in their account every month on a certain date. The amount they each receive is based on a certain percentage (75% I believe) of their father's yearly salary. So the "dividing up" takes place at Soc Sec.

And I still don't get the whole thing about why he is 26 and still receiving benefits from his father -- even the death benefits from my first husband CEASE at 18 for both my kids.

Have you read the soc sec guidelines to make sure it's correct? Because let me tell you, those fools in the soc sec office aren't the sharpest tools in the shed.... I had to work with them for almost 5 months (and 5 certified copies of the death certificate later) to get it straight that my kids' father was no longer disabled, he was deceased. Of course, they stopped the disability payments right away, but did not institute the death benefits until I made enough noise and contacted a couple state senators. Then it took another 3 months to get the correct amount of back ss payments deposited into their accounts.

Ops skid is 19. I think you

Ops skid is 19. I think you said 26 because I mentioned 26 in my post. Where I live parents are responsible for tuition and health insurance to age 26. I still think op isn't losing as much as if they'd been paying cs health INS and tuition all the years of the skids life.

maybe not, sixteensmom-but

maybe not, sixteensmom-but since the other guy signed up at BIRTH to be skids father, he shouldn't get to bow out 10 years later. He's part of the reason this kid is screwed up, he should be helping pay for it.

The part that's really

The part that's really confusing to me is how did SSI figure out he's related? If someone else's name is on the birth certificate, and the child was born into another marriage, and no support for the child we ever ordered??? Where in the heck did they come up with the idea that your husband is his father? If he should be collecting on anyone's SSI, it would be his legal father, The Dude.

Biomom brought skid into the

Biomom brought skid into the picture 10 years after the fact and sued DH for child support. They figured out he's related b/c of DNA testing.

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Mooching from our kids.