Mother’s Day Card – Really? How old are you?
So I received a Mother’s Day Card in the mail from SD28 (married). It was red construction paper folded in half with the edges crinkle-cut and a sticker of a flower on the outside. With a pen she wrote Happy Mother’s Day on the front and a nice note inside and mailed in a white business envelope. When I opened it and tried to pull it out, the construction paper kind of tore around the edges.
My first response was – “Wow, how tacky” – she couldn’t even spring for a note card at the 99-cent store? She had to make “tacky?” (Honestly, it looked like a 10 year old child made it.) Then I thought, maybe I’m just being too critical. So I asked a couple of ladies I know at church and they all said – “yeah, that is a bit tacky” and I asked, how do you address something like this? They weren’t sure.
So, do you talk about something like this with a SD28 or DH so this behavior of ‘poverty-stickiness mentality’ or ‘just lack of care’ is eliminated? (In the past, I have received from SD28, cards written on a piece of folded gift wrapping paper or some other home-made gift/crap or re-gifted things.)
At least you receive a
At least you receive a Mothers Day card! I would rather receive a homemade card than no recognition at all!
I say...take what you
I say...take what you can...is better than nothing, and actually took a little more effort than a regular card, especially if there was a note involved. If you've gotten stuff like this in the past, I would just think of it as her quirky way of doing it, and appreciate the effort. Any other way of looking at it is just a downer. AVOID the downer, lol.
Thanks for being sad for me -
Thanks for being sad for me - as I have had a world of crap slammed at me from my skids through the years too.
I'm sure she meant well. Why
I'm sure she meant well. Why are you pissed?
I'm sure she meant well.
I'm sure she meant well. Thanks for the posts of encouragement. I have had the many ignored Mother's Days, birthday's, etc. that goes with being a SM. When a SM's get beaten up over the years - sometimes one nice thing can give your system a shock and you can be a little skeptical.
I don’t know what kind of
I don’t know what kind of trouble this person may have caused you in your life… maybe none, maybe TONS…
If she has, then think of it as an olive branch, and accept it as that
If she hasn’t then just accept it as “just her way” of doing things
Either way, try to accept it and please don’t say anything. I feel like MAYBE she was trying to make a gesture, and if you’ve had problems with her in the past, saying something about it will only make you out to be the bad guy
(and if she wasn’t trying to make a gesture, if this is some strange manipulation, then saying something is probably playing into her game)
If you haven’t had problems with her in your life, then saying something about it will only make you the REALLY bad guy.
LOL! I cracked up at
LOL! I cracked up at "HMD"
Better yet, perhaps a sticky note?
LOLLOLOL I was going to say
LOLLOLOL
I was going to say regift it to her for her birthday. Use a few cute Hello Kitty stickers to doll it up a bit.
You guys made me laugh.
You guys made me laugh. Thanks. I love homemade cards and gifts. I think the problem was that it seemed like she spent 3 minutes on the whole thing. It was evident (to me) that little effort was put into it. I guess history with her towards me in the past, after spending 10K on her wedding last summer, giving her money for Easter and thanking Dad and not me, asking us to buy her an ipod for her birthday last month (which we didn't) it just lack sincerity. Sticky note and hello kitty stickers...
That's what I felt like it was.
I've got to agree with you
I've got to agree with you Miss Step, if she acts like my sd33 did, I would take offense because she knows just what she is doing. Lousy gift giving is on the list of narcissistic behavior . One year after my DH took a day off work and cosigned for a new car, she gave her dad a Wendy's gift certificate for 5 dollars for his birthday. We re-gifted it to her boyfriend at Christmas. You should have seen her face! It was priceless. We then gave her boyfriend his real Christmas present. She still didn't get it. It was a post it note for happy father's day one year after she spent 10 days for free with her boyfriend at our lake cottage. I'm not even going to go where my gifts or cards were or what didn't exitst! The key is, just don't respond at all!!!!
At least she thought to send
At least she thought to send you something.
For Christmas SD30 and her son 9 came over to receive their gifts. Afterwards, Grandkid gave DH his gift. It was a coupon for Breathe Right Strips (he snores.) They both thought it was hilarious. That was the only "gift" that she gave any of us. Why DH insists on giving her and her son expensive gifts I'll never know.
All her gifts going forward
All her gifts going forward should be handmade shit that you pulled together with whatever you have around the house -- string, rubberbands, etc. How about a paperclip necklace?
hahaha i like this!
hahaha i like this!
All I can say is where were
All I can say is where were all you funny people a couple of years ago prior to my disengagement? I sure could have used your company when I was at the lowest point of hell!
Hey, I'd like to add that I
Hey, I'd like to add that I got my first ever Mother's Day Card from my adult SD and it was a REAL card bought from a store. Very sweet note inside that said "thanks for all you do for us" but I'm disengaged and I don't do anything anymore LOL.
Last year I got a bouquet of
Last year I got a bouquet of flowers from hubby's daughter.This year nothing.. never saw her. why? because last year I shut my mouth about all the nasty remarks she said to me and thinks is funny.I am not her mother and I won't be bullied by her anymore.Just waiting for her next nasty comment and I will blow..if you don't go along or agree with her she gets in a snit and tells daddy. I made cabbage rolls, she saw them and said "ewww yuk" ...I bought a wrought iron eagle at an auction sale..what did she say " that should go in the garage with your other junk" she's got smartass remarks about everything..my husband defends her." she didn't mean it that way".."she's just joking" or you take everything so serious"..on Sat last, she told me the young guys up the Street do coke..I said" how do you know this? her answer (snotty) I've lived in this town 22 years, I know !"..so I've asked around and the story is " they smoke a little pot, that's it" She reports people to the childrens aide,the welfare she calls the bi-law if peoples yards aren't up to her standards, gossips about everyone and her father can't see it.I think he should go and live with her..I've about had enough of this little bitch and her inteferring and hateful attitude! grrrrrrrrrrr!!
Once, years ago, I received a
Once, years ago, I received a Mother's Day card from SD. I was so touched; at the time believing they were warming to me. Now I neither expect or want a card. I am done.
I received beautiful cards
I received beautiful cards before we married, after marriage nothing. Last year on my birthday she walked right by me without saying a word. DH asked sd and grandchild to attend an event with us. When we got in the car DH asked grand whose birthday it was, she didn't know. SD then sent me a FB message while sitting in the car wishing me a happy birthday, however said anything to my face. That did it for me. Of course, when I later mentioned it to DH he said that she was probably preoccupied. Nope just extremely rude and bad mannered. If my kids had done the same thing I would have been more than happy to talk to them about their rudeness.