My own daughter

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Forget about my dh's woes. I feel like a failure myself. Recently it was my birthday, and dh too me away for a few days. No call from my two sons, not even a text. They are both in their late teens and even still live with me. My 16 year old daughter was across the country with her father visiting his girlfriend. So bright and early, SHE calls to wish me a happy birthday. Tells me she is having a great time. So I tell her that when we both get home next week, dh and I are taking ourselves and her to a local resort/spa for the day. She asks if my sister and husband will still be joining us......I say no. Her response....well if it is just the two of you I have to think about it. I was deeply hurt and ended the phone call quickly. In tears. Dh says he will force her to join us, but why bother?
I feel the pain my dh must feel with husband's own kids. There she is out doing things with her father and his girlfriend, but me? I feel very hurt,

The one thing that I have

The one thing that I have noticed is that with other girlfriends of their fsther's over the years, my children NEVER speak of this person to me. My ex told them years ago that he did not want them telling me about what they do with him, and it has worked. One argument with my son years ago, and he yelled at me that his father's then fiancée was more of a mother to him than me. That hurt, but he was very young at the time.
Is this more about them and ex or me? I feel upset.

Just a thought, do not

Just a thought, do not compare your ex and his wife with your relationship - you seem to be assuming that your daughter prefers their company to yours, but that's not necessarily the truth. Remember, she took the time to make sure you had a call on your birthday. You needn't feel badly if your teenage daughter feels uncomfortable having to spend an entire day with you and your husband at the spa - there are precious few people that I want to spend a day with at the spa! And I am not a teenager!

I would definitely take this

I would definitely take this up with your sons, about not getting a birthday call or text. However, I think the same as Sparklelady, I can't imagine my daughters would have wanted to spend a day at a spa with their father and me at age 16. They would have preferred to be with their friends.

I would definitely take this

when I read your post, my

when I read your post, my first thought was not that your daughter doesn't want to spend time with you unless the sister is going too, but perhaps your daughter was actually trying to be considerate. I know if it were me, I'd worry that I'd be a third wheel tag-along and maybe she wants you to enjoy your time alone with hubby....just a thought. At least it's more pleasant to consider this than the alternative... Sorry about your sons, my son doesn't think about me on my birthday, either unless his girlfriend reminds him. I blame DH for not encouraging my kids to remember my birthday each year.

This sounds about right.

This sounds about right. Girls day!

There's really no other reason besides feeling like a tagalong. I mean, is she THAT close to your sister and husband? Her aunt and uncle? Am I reading that right?

Yeah I'm wondering if she

Yeah I'm wondering if she wasn't thinking more about you and DH having a nice spa day alone together. If other people were invited, she wouldn't feel like she was imposing. I think a mother-daughter spa day is a great idea. A mother-daughter-stepdad spa day sounds kind of awkward depending on the dynamics of the relationships.

Actually she has been to the

Actually she has been to the resort and we would have brunch. There are winter sports like ice skating, skiing, etc..
So not just the spa. Then I thought of having her invite a friend, but it is an expensive day out..

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