Need comebacks for offensive BM!
I could really use some ideas for some good comebacks that I know are coming. A month ago DH and I were on a "family" camp out. Kid,skids, gskids, in laws, out laws, you name it, including BM. Mind you, those were the HOTTEST days this year, between 105 and 111. No kidding, anyway some of us where down at the lake (which felt like bath water) I made a comment something to effect of the heat getting insane, and BM had to chime in (DH stayed in camp)"old age catching up with you,huh,? Starting to get hot flashes,aren't you?" Her being 15 yrs older than me! My response (probably not the best choice) "that ship sailed in my 30's,no,it's not hot flashes,ever consider it might be the freaking heat?" So, that was that. Later, back at camp, the gskids wanted me to play cards with them, I said yes, are one of you willing to switch sides, (of the table) so I won't be so close to the (fire)pit?" It was 85 for crying out loud. One did volunteer, but the BM/BGM had to chime in again, "I'm tell you, you've got hot flashes, I went through it after my hysterectomy, then later when it should have been time." I did fire back, "Well, I still have all my women parts, it's doubtful God will punish me twice!And I dont freeze at 72!" Yes, in front of the gskids, a couple of them snickered a bit.
So,next weekend Big BBQ at SD38's , we have several relatives we haven't seen in a long time , coming in from different states including my BD25, who I know is looking forward to seeing everyone. The pro out weight the cons by 20-2 (SD42, BM) and the heat once again going to be 105-110. I'm going to do my best to refrain from making any comment about the heat,but just in case, I'd like to have a good come back for her. Then, a few for SD42, when she jumps to BM defense!
I think the bigger question
I think the bigger question is why you want to hang around these losers in the first place?
Don't EVER self-depricate in front of these people. Ever, for any reason.
DH and I used to go on joint vacations with BM "for the sake of the grandkids". BM, in my case, is 12 years older and 100 lbs heavier and she has made several comments at me trying to overcompensate.
Do you not think your BM isn't pissed you are 15 years younger? Why do you need to say anything? She's doing anything she can to feel better about herself. You already won!
But yeah. Here's what I would do with my mouth.
"Starting to get hot flashes are you?"
Me - "Yeah, I think so, but I am going to enjoy them since the alternative is being a shriveled up old PRUNE. What's it feel like when the estrogen has completely dried up, BM?"
Or
"gosh no. DH and I are thinking about having a baby. Wouldn't we have beautiful kids?"
I'd type a few more comments but I would get banned. Send me a PM.
Seriously, you don't owe this woman the time of day. I like the choice of silence. She says something you don't like, you look at her in disbelief and shake your head. That's it. Hand her some sunscreen. "Gosh, you really should stay out of the sun at your age, it's really showing." I have an SD42; she looks older than I do with her leather skin from years of sun worship. I'd be giving her sunscreen too.
Haha, Those are really good!
Haha, Those are really good! The BM was on her 3rd DH when the DH and I got together. The camp out wasn't actually our "vacation". Our's was in June, just the 2 of us for 10 days, and 400 miles from home. That was 4 days, 10 miles from home, and I wanted to go those are the only 2 that are A___h____! of 18, and I really wanted to see SGS15,and he had call to make sure we'd be there and say "I Love You Grandma"! I go because the good out weights the bad, and I would be an evil person I got the little ones involve in any of this. And SGS15 is a pretty smart kid, and he'll figure it out himself before too long, and I'll be WAY ahead in points! He was the first and we have a bond. There's also SGS16 & SGD18 (they came later via BF of SD38) them and I have "an understanding" . So, if I had to take the BS to see them, I will. They already know I'm the bigger person,they told me so!
But if I could have a few shots to fire back, it would be icing on the cake!
"It's not a flash. I look
"It's not a flash. I look this hot all the time." Turn all her hot flash comments into comments about how hot/good looking you are.
I like this idea. Not
I like this idea. Not putting BM down and running the risk of SD's coming to the rescue to defend her. Every time she says something catty refocus the conversation so it's about her. "Have you been seeing anyone lately?", "How old did you say you were?", etc. Ya, I kind of wondering why she is at these events too.
Excellent
Excellent responses..here...but, when you ask yourself and others this question (and trust me-- most of us do in our minds, eventually-- at least), your relationship(s) are already spiraling out of control and picking up at a miserable speed of negativity. These comments directed specifically toward you-- only get sharper over time; your highly offended reaction is what they desire.
However, just do not hang out with BM and subject yourself to this group torture treatment. The longer you do it, the more intense it will become, until you completely refuse to do it any longer. You've already started going down the road most of us traveled way too long...LOL
Please tell us why you went
Please tell us why you went on vacation with BM who you know is rude to you?
Ok you asked What would 'we'
Ok you asked What would 'we' do/come back.
I would have other plans.
So would my husband.
No words needed.
OR you could say You know what BM your a bigger ass every time I unfortunately have to see you.
Seconded!
Seconded!
When she says something, stop
When she says something, stop what you are doing, turn yourself towards her and stare straight at her face and say something along the lines of: Please stop speculating about my health. It has nothing to do with you. .... Then continue to stare at her as long as you can until she apologizes or turns away.
Or something similarly direct and straightforward. Repeat the exact same line every time, the exact same way. It might not be witty but it points out her rudeness to herself and the others around and should shut her up soon enough.
I also agree - I simply
I also agree - I simply wouldn't go.
But a "Bless your heart," with a sympathetic smile that BM is obviously so out of line that of course you feel sorry for her embarrassing herself, usually works just fine. Best of all, it leaves you blameless, and she doesn't get the 'reward' of seeing you upset.
Rinse and repeat.
Personally.... I would ignore
Personally.... I would ignore the rude comments and questions. I've never entertained answering questions from people that do not respect me. I simply smile and look away. You do this enough and people stop asking dumb questions
Whenever anyone says
Whenever anyone says something inappropriate about my weight, health, eating habits etc I just tell them that I've discussed it with my doctor and I'm just fine but thanks for your concern.
I once heard Elizabeth Taylor
I once heard Elizabeth Taylor respond to a rude question with, "I'm sorry, I was taught that a LADY neither answers nor ASKS such questions." And she said it with the sweetest smile!
I have gained much enjoyment
I have gained much enjoyment out of giving the SpermClan more and more rope to hang themselves over the years. I appreciate that you are prepping for the next round.
Have fun! }:)
You all have given me
You all have given me something to think about! As I have said, I enjoy 20 out of 22 of them, and I feel like I'd be punishing myself,in part, if I didn't go. That ol' bat requires a quick,sharp response to shock her back to reality! But the BIG weekend is here, the "gathering" was set for Sunday (after Church!) the out of town visitors we're supposed to go to the coast tomorrow but the Highway is still closed. At least DH has already said ,he will tell DD42, we cant make it, if she decides to change everything to tomorrow (and it's not even at her house). The rest of the skids+(aunts,uncles,cousins, grandmother) just go along with what she does,sickening! :sick: