Do you think she even really did that? Ask about you and say, "Hello"? Or does he just want you to think that she did?

although not as much these days. I remember, a few years ago, that DHs youngest daughter "sent" a message via a video text, saying "tell CajunMom I love and respect her."  Yeah, right. From an ADULT human who accused me of mental abuse (in an email) and I hadn't spoke to in near 8 years. 

My NYs resolution is much like yours. I see a bit of interaction with SKs in my future (a life event will be happening) and I plan to do as you...what you give, I give back. So...knowing DHs kids so well, it will be an easy situation to deal with. They give nothing. It will be a very busy event so I'll just stay clear of the Clan.

Lol. I saw "NY" and cringed thinking it was a New York SKid nightmare story.  That NY forces the NCP to pay the CP until the failed family spawn is 21 always makes me cringe.

But... cringe worthy tokenism mentions by a kid to their BP regarding the SP.... meh.

Not much better.

Yeah...I've been put on a text message that is really meant for their DH but pretending to include me. From this, I concluded that there's no reason for me to respond. 

my Resolutions regarding steps and people in general.  I expect reciprocal give and take in a relationship. I am going to continue on with just letting DH handle HIS relationships. 

I was there for quite some time until DH's health crisis. Then, in desperation and in trying to "do the right thing," I let down the guard. What a disaster. That is a lesson learned. They don't change. They do not stop acting like animals (insult to animals, really) because there is a crisis; they USE it to shoot more arrows, continue to act like the little soldiers in Mommy's longstanding and useless war, and to creep back in.

My resolution is to remember that hard lesson and to put even more barriers in place, and to lock those doors tight. These little bast....s will never step foot in my house again. I need to cleanse myself of them once and for all, and I will. Focus on the good people in our lives!!!

Live well together with my incredible bride. 

Pretty simple for me.

Oh yep. And... get over COVID.

I wouldn't be upset... But I don't really know the dynamics of your relationship. 

This year I will be "celebrating" two decades of life with a skid in it. I've further realized that disengagement is, was and always will be the best option. 

There are so many idioms for this: Drop the rope. Go gray rock. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Etc.  All I know is by disengaging and refusing to entertain any kind of care or concern for SD, it has allowed more peace into my life. Which I will continue to pursue.

During holidays, my SO and I had a conversation about SD simply because that's when skid issues arise for most of us. It was the same old tune: He knows she is cold and distant.  He cannot confront her because the thread between them is so tenuous, he is afraid it will break. He has somewhat resigned himself to the fact that he will never have a close relationship with her, NOR her kids. His dreams of being a grandpa are mostly dashed to in-name only. SD's mother reigns supreme over all and is the one and only parent, completely enmeshed with SD.  Always was, always will be. 

So my resolution is to shift focus from the negative (SD) to the positive (me!)  

I am proud that I have tried my best for almost 20 years and nothing, absolutely nothing I could do/not do had any impact on SD. I never resorted to direct confrontation (which would have been useless) nor have I let myself be treated like a doormat. I've read so many books, blogs, documentaries, peer-reviewed professional papers, etc. to try and figure out how to improve this situation. That was all wasted time of my life. MY LIFE. Because I guarantee that SD never spent a single second trying to educate herself because she simply doesn't care.

So. In many ways, to meet my New Year Resolution I should probably avoid frequenting Steptalk, as that is the antithesis of finally, permanently letting go and shutting out stepkid issues permanently from my life.