After meeting husbands daughter for lunch yesterday it has become painfully obvious of some negative things and that she is mentally ill. I am at a loss to support my husband emotionally except to warn him to protect himself.
I knew she was "off" but I had no idea how badly and how also emotionally immature she is.
She brought a novel ( her version of one) autobiography ... to share and what it said blew my husband away.
It was a mommy dearest book, only about her father and she has many issues it seems.
She wants to adopt her mothers victim mentality to use and abuse and control everyone in her life and thats not going to fly here. Even the recent situations she wrote of are amuck with delusions .. as I was there.
She seeks to avenge her mothers wishes and seek revenge upon her father... its a big delusional mess.
so..........
we are just painfully reminded and seeing our suspicions are accurate. Not really wanting advice but to say that we are in retreat and BEWARE mode as she is far worse than we thought. The main problem is her mother who is equally as mentally ill and going to be no help for this young woman and it seems the young woman is so bonded with her, she may always live with her and never form her own life.
They live in a world of blame and immaturity... using all people from their past and present to justify their actions, control others...
a very complicated series of problems that all spell major personality problems, maybe bipolar or BPD, but there is nothing we can do as constantly repeating the facts over and over for years has done nothing. All attempts at anything we have done have been ignored and the jest of BM and her daughters life is revenge and hate.
We have to retreat as SD is undiagnoied and I feel from what she wrote, potentially dangerous. I feel so bad for my husband.... my gosh.... he is not someone who is mentally ill and this situation now has proved to him he is in a losing battle trying to have a relationship with his adult daughter.

Life is just full of huge suprises and we will do what we must to remove ourselves from danger. I feel sad for anyone who gets involved with SD or her BIO mom...
they are users, abusers, manipulators of the worse kind.