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rStep Daughter Obsessed with Dad

debb827's picture

Submitted by debb827 on Fri, 12/06/2013 - 4:30am

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Adult Stepchildren

My 22 year old future stepdaughter is causing us so much grief that my fiance has moved out. She is totally obsessed with spending time with her dad. She comes over every night with her boyfriend and has to stay in the recreational room which is a detailed garage. There is no smoking in the house. We have been together for 5 years and he has 2 other daughters in which i get along great with one of them.I recently reached out to her to ask what I did so wrong to her so we could straighten this out for her dads sake. Her dad has a problem saying no to her and she throws this in my face that she always gets what she wants. She wascoming over everynight with her boyfriend. Everynight and when I would go out to the garage, it was like the three of them against me. I would feel like an outsider. After asking her what we could do,she started firing me very mean,vicious, rude and evil texts like she hoped i would die overnight. I am trying my best to save my relationship with her dad, but he has been blinded by her to the point of the more I stick upfor myself, the worse it gets. Please someone give me some advise because I really do love this man.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 12/06/2013 - 5:51am

He has already made his decision by moving out. Now it's time for you to move on.

BadNanny's picture

Submitted by BadNanny on Fri, 12/06/2013 - 9:18am

So let them spend time- take your girlfriends and go barhopping. That'll teach them! When skids need daddy time, I go do my thing- watch a movie, join a gym, grab a drink with a GF, whatever you want. He can't resent you for that. Gives them time together until he gets sick of her drama (because there Will Be Other Drama with her!). Write a letter to both, tell them you rethought the issue and its no issue- their time is their time and you'll do your best to give them time together Smile Freedommmmm!!!

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Sat, 12/07/2013 - 1:50pm

dh used the excuse of going holiday shopping with younger sd so the miniwife could spend time with him. a romantic afternoon together.

Amber Miller's picture

Submitted by Amber Miller on Fri, 12/06/2013 - 9:49am

Perhaps it would help daddy see how mean princess is towards you if you show him the horrible texts that she sent to you. It sounds like you took the high road and made an attempt to have a mature, adult conversation (which apparently she's not capable of having) with her in order to improve and work out whatever "kinks" exist between the 2 of you (can't fault someone for trying). Once he sees how nicely you treated his evil spawn and how mean she was towards you in return, it will help him see that you are not the bad guy here. Good luck

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Fri, 12/06/2013 - 5:44pm

I agree with the other posters - let him go. In another year you will be glad you did. Believe me - if SD is treating you like this before marriage it will only get worse after you marry. If your FDH is not supporting you now he never will. I love Foxie's comment: Once you are out of the picture he WILL be dumped by them. It's the game of wanting what they can't have until they have it.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 12/06/2013 - 5:58pm

Your hopefully soon-to-be ex needs to ask himself; why would a 22 year old, with a boyfriend, want to spend every night with her father?

He did not have to move out because of her, you know that don't you? There was another option.

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Sat, 12/07/2013 - 5:02pm

at least your dh has b*lls. one of the skids threatened to hit me and dh did nothing. oh he tried to turn a blind eye to it and then decided to do something hours later.

Brasso53's picture

Submitted by Brasso53 on Sun, 12/08/2013 - 6:27am

I think stepdaughters are the worse, my 3 stepdaughters , all, adults, all married with their own children, were constantly wanting to be daddy's no 1, it does not go away, it took a while for my partner to see through them, but now it actually makes him sick, it's all unhealthy, my advice is run for the hills, if he is not supporting you now after 5 years, I doubt it will change, you deserve better than being treated like, that, all the best

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 12/08/2013 - 7:39am

I think you knew the answer to your dilemma before you even posted your original message.

You will never be first with your SO. Ever. His high maintenance daughter will be his priority. Do yourself a favor and avoid the drama. He has done you the favor of already moving out. Change the locks so your former fiance can't come back. He has made his choice. He can go live with his daughters BF and their girlfriend.. (and I really meant THEIR girlfriend)

It is not that difficult to find a partner who puts you first so take the time to find one who does put you first.

Take care of yourself.

Sincerely,