That's a huge amount of money and more importantly you have no relationship with her. 

You are NOT obligated in ANY way. The issue is how she is treating you, and has treated you in the past, not if you can afford it. She had her chance to get the education and now it all should be on her and her partner to figure things out. 

No is a complete sentence. Period. Dot.

If your husband decides to against your decision, put equal amounts into a separate account just for YOU.

Whether you can afford it or not is not the issue. The issue is that SD is rude and you dont have a relationship with her.

She is an adult who chose later in life to upgrade her skills, good for her, but its not your responsibility at this point. Plus throw in you are estranged from her, thats a big NFW. Your DH should understand this.

She can get her new rich daddio to pay since she is such a damsel in distress?   BARF

There are grants out there that she can apply for - say NO! You don't have to LEND her any money.

36 years old?!! Well beyond the age where she should be hitting up her parents for tuition.

I read through your first few posts. To quote another user, "Pass the sick bucket!" Just say no. 

Loan? What are the chances you will get the money back? Many times loans to children are never repaid. Never lend money unless you will be fine financially if you don't get it back. Without a signed contract spelling out terms and repayment, he has no legal recourse to get his money back.

Before DH 'lends' her money, he should look at a few things. Without a contract the money could be considered a gift. There are yearly limits on dollar gifts. Go over that amount and one has to file against your lifetime exclusion.

No interest loans can have tax consequences. The  IRS assumes an interest percent and imputes income to the parent on no interest loans.  

DH needs to remember that his daughter can borrow for school, but he can't borrow to fund his retirement.

Ask her "what part of NO don't you understand?"

ask your husband if he would pay someone to treat him like crap. When he says "hell no" ask him why he expects you to be okay w/ giving her $$ after the way she treats you both. 

If she has been rude to you and treated her father poorly, she is not deserving of a loan (which would probably end up being a gift anyway), and the answer should be no - especially if you have joint finances so that this is your money too.  If her dad has separate finances, a fully funded retirement and can pay the bills if he never sees that money again, then maybe he could do it from his own funds.  However, I would tell him that I consider him giving her money hurtful after the way she's treated you.

PTs make good money.  She can take loans and pay them back from her future earnings.  Your husband, OTOH, is probably retired or close to it if she's 38, so he doesn't have all those future earnings.  It sounds like you are well set for retirement, but things can change.  I'd stick with no.  Of course, your husband needs to be prepared for his daughter to treat him very poorly again, because I'm sure that's what she'll do if he turns her down for this "loan."  I just hope you don't get blamed.

And not feel a bit bad about it. She's an adult, making an adult choice and will have to handle the loans herself. No, just NO! She does have a lot of nerve asking for yet ANOTHER assist from parents after they paid her way the first time around. I know a situation like this would really grind my gears if either of my SS asked for a loan. I don't mind helping any of the kids out when they truly need help but expecting $30k or even half that amount is too much. Keep us posted and good luck!

The truth is your husband wants to give the money badly but he probably is afraid to do what he truly wants and upset you

Look at the many posts of disney dads who act depressed when the wives put the foot down in overspending for steps...All of a sudden, they become depressed and sad....You become the evil force stopping the poor innocent children from getting the help they so desperately need!!

He will do wtv he wants to do when it comes to his "helpless" children....even if he has to make you mad

If she's nearly 36, your DH must be coming close to retirement, right? He doesn't have the spare money available to give to his daughter (give because she won't repay it, will she?). He needs it all for his retirement. She'll just need to get a loan or find a grant or whatever. He and you don't have the means of funding a change in career.

For him still giving her the money. That's an old one.  They ask our opinion and then do what they want anyway. 

After being disrespectful and rude, hell no. 

I'm sorry, but after you treat someone horribly, don't expect them to be thrilled to give you money,  whether a gift or a loan.

My DH has made comparably smaller loans to a few family members...$500 to a sister in pretty severe need, and a couple hundred to a brother...  His sister had made some payments to pay it back and we've told her not to worry about it because she does her best to make it, but the brother works sometimes,  sometimes not and and has made no effort to repay...but that also means he won't be asking for more money.  But this one and the way she's behaved...absolutely not!

I must come from very different stock, because:

1. I was never in a position for my parents to pay for my schooling. It wasn't even a thought in my head. 

2. Not only that, they would never have had money to borrow me. 

3. If they had paid for my 4yr schooling- anything beyond that is absolutely not expected or even should be given, IMO. She is 37!! It just causes issues and she can still get a student loan. She will be just fine. 

I don't think he should do it. He did way more than his part already, IMO. 

She is on the business end of 30 and still asking for money?

Wow...

And I was just complaining about SD Power Sulk using my netflix account at her mothers beachside apartment...!

Good on you for saying NO.

covered 4 years of university costs.  He finished in 3.5 years, I finished in 11 years.

Mom and dad covered by first two years and last two years. I paid for the middle 7.  After I had wayyyyyyy too much fun my first two years, I stated a company, ran it for 6 years, sold my share to my partners, and used that to finish part of the rest of my engineering degree. I was in class every semester, at least one class, for 11 years.

My baby bro and I graduated together from engineering school with our BSEE.  He still gives me crap for graduating a minute before I did. I remind him he graduated 11 years and one minute before I did.

We were on our own for grad school.  After our undergrad, we both went to work for hte same company.  The company covered our Master's degrees though in a tuition reimbursement program.  

Many of our friends and coworkers have covered undergrad degrees but hold their kids to paying for their own grad school.

If I were  your SO my answer to your SD would be... "You are welcome for your gratitude regarding me having paid for your undergrad.You are an adult. Grad school is on you. Figure it out."

Nope. Nope NOPE.

Wow she has guts.

You will never see that money.  She will never pay back that loan.   I would take bets on how many payments she will ever make.  When ever I loan my kids money, I look at it as gone.  As never to see it again.   Paid $4,000 for a new boiler. I was repaid $400.  Lucky to get the 400.   BUT I understood it was a gift , most likely never to get it back 

If she wants money, she can work for it like you did. Tell her your lawn needs mowing, your yard needs some cleanup, and then inspect her work and pay her for each job she does for you. If she does a crap job or doesn't finish the job, she doesn't get paid. 

I have a feeling she will want to forgo the money from you if she actually has to show up and work for it.