SD's fiance's parents invite me for dinner... and I haven't even met SD's fiance yet???

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So SD28 just got engaged despite being in the relationship for less than two months.

She's introduced her fiance to DH and they've met up for three meals now... all on the proviso that I'm not included.

I made sure DH got the message across that if they want him to be part of the wedding, I'd better be included.

So the next step is for DH to meet his parents. And the invitation came today... from his parents. His parents have included me in the invite which surprised me... then I get the additional info that SD and her man will not be at the dinner.

Riiight. So I'm going to meet the guy's parents when I haven't even met the guy yet? Let alone the SD whom I haven't seen in forever?

What am I supposed to talk about to the guy's parents? "Oh, actually I have no view on the matter coz I haven't actually met your son yet. Yeah, she hasn't wanted me to meet with them, actually. Shoop-di-doo, I have no idea what I'm doing here!"

Is it just me or is there something wrong with this picture?

Agree w/tog and the others.

Agree w/tog and the others. Consider this a positive move. Be pleasant, gracious, charming self and defer to DH for any specific questions regarding SD/BF. Keep us informed!

I sure will

I sure will }:)

It's more that I would think

It's more that I would think if you're introducing your parents to each other, you'd want to be there?

I expect them to be more mature and reasonable for sure. But they are elders in a very conservative church so I'm preparing myself for judgement and sizing up. Definitely preparing myself to shut down and leave if they are toxic!

Excellent advice Sally. It's

Excellent advice Sally. It's great that you were invited, it's a sign that the fiances parents are mature and open to a relationship. Hopefully that will rub off on SD.

I hope so! If DH doesn't want

I hope so!

If DH doesn't want to correct her judgemental ways, maybe her future in-laws will lead by example.

Thanks for the great advice

Thanks for the great advice as always, Sally!

I intend to be gracious and lovely. Give no one ammunnition - is my motto of sorts!

She is!

I would accept on the premise

I would accept on the premise that the fiances parents seem like extremely reasonable people and are likely cognizant of how screwed up their future DIL is.

Go, have fun, enjoy adult conversation and getting to know them. You may just find them to be great allies in dealing with SD's immature manipulative bullshit.

Apparently DH has already met

Apparently DH has already met his father. He's supposedly a gracious man. Let's hope they will show some guidance in how to behave and she will follow since I assume she would want to please them.

Could it be that they want to

Could it be that they want to talk to both you and your dh regarding financing the wedding?

Then again, maybe they think

Then again, maybe they think the bride's father is going to foot the bill.

I'm going to have some strong words about that!!!

I doubt it. But you never

I doubt it. But you never know.

I'm waiting for SD to ask DH to finance it - seeing as she has no money having hardly worked in her 28 years.

Agree with both Sally and

Agree with both Sally and Rags -- go, have fun, be gracious and wonderful. These folks are likely alarmed about the rapid engagement and may even have noticed the girl is exhibiting concerning behaviors. The young couple is likely not there because they refused to show up when parents refused to disinvite tigerlily. So this is a real good sign that these are healthy normal people who won't be bullied by Little Miss. Excellent!

If Snowflake is right and they want to talk wedding money, smile graciously and say, "oh! well, we haven't had a chance to even talk to each other about that yet and really aren't prepared to discuss that this evening. Now do you give out the recipe for this wonderful dip or is that a closely guarded secret?!"