Selfish Adult SD's
My DH birthday was Feb 4. One of his daughters (21) called him and the other (23) txted him. Both said they would give him a gift the next time we visited. Now, they only live about a 1 & 1/2 hour away from us. They couldn't be bothered to come & visit their father? When it starts getting even close to their b-days the 21 yr old starts calling & txting us reminding us her bday is approaching. This year when she found out we weren't going to be visiting that weekend, she asked her Dad to "wire transfer" her, her gift! I was so pissed! Of course, he said yes & did it right after work! For the first time ever I kept my mouth shut. Hey, it's his white trash daughter who actually asked for a present right! Told him she wanted to go out drinking because she was turning 21. Come to find out through her older 1/2 sister, that she didn't even go drinking because she thought she might be pregnant (for the 3rd time) and didn't want to drink. I guess that I was raised different.......a gift was not expected but appreciated and never something i would have asked my parents for. But yet, they make no effort what so ever to make their father's birthday special for him. She says that he (her Dad) can enjoy his happy life with me (his psycho wife & my son who's 10), but they make 0 effort to be a part of our lives unless they want something. Story is long and goes back 6 years but I have disengaged completly from the 21 yr old and have a good with relationship with the older daughter. It bugs me to no end that they just don't see how selfish and immature they are! Thanks for listening, sometimes its good to vent to people who arn't involved!
They always get their dad
They always get their dad something very small or just a card but they always seem to have money for their moms'bdays, all their friends kids bday parties they have on the weekends! Its so irritating! Oh, let's not forget they have money for alcohol & weed! They are never without that. I told my DH to ask them to "wire" his presents this year. He wouldn't of course. I still thought it was funny when I said it lol!
SD never sends anything to DH
SD never sends anything to DH or me. I used to remind DH of SD's birthday and finally got tired of it always being one way. Now, I have no idea if DH sends SD a birthday presents or not. We have separate bank accounts so whatever he gives to her is out of his account. I could care less and DH knows I don't want to talk about her. She hates me enough to not call at our house so I'm lucky there too.
The only thing is - he gave her so much for so many years that his 'nest 'egg is quite a bit leaner than it should be, and if a real crises came up he could be in a world of hurt. And I know SD would not be offering anything.
I am going to be honest
I am going to be honest here, honest because now that my own kids are mostly adults, I see the error of my ways. I do not get gifts from all of my children! They only think it goes one way, and that is from me and their father to them. So in fairness, it likely has to do with how they were raised and not to do with the step situation.
I find that now at my age, I see my mistakes. I can't dwell on them.....
My SDipshit22 is JUST like
My SDipshit22 is JUST like this, will send a million texts letting you know her bday is coming up and DH always expects to give $200. Last year was the last year she would receive 200 bucks when she has 2 kids. I will flip my shit if he tries to give her $200 this year. She's one of the most ungrateful, disgusting "women" Ive ever met in my life. She had all kinds of demands of what she wanted for Xmas and her baby last year. Cant stand her.
We just went through this
We just went through this with OSD who turned 33. She demands to be focused on and even called her sister to remind her she had been promised a gift and wanted to be taken shopping for it. Did I say she is 33?
She was raised to believe she is better than anyone else. She was given everything and anything she wanted and will be this way forever.
My SK's are the same way, I
My SK's are the same way, I can't even count how many years for birthdays and holidays that they said they would be getting a gift for DH or I and the gift never arrived. What I never understood was why, year after year they didn't have at the very least a card for their Dad's birthday. They would slip at times and mention getting a gift for their BM or stepdad (who BTW they call "Daddy" too). Yet here is my DH (custodial parent to both at the time) going crazy trying to feed them and cloth them, etc on a lousy salary with no child support from BM). This past year, finally DH did not get SD19 a birthday gift, not even a card. You could tell it drove her nuts, she literally stopped over to our home two nights in a row for no reason sniffing around for her non-existent birthday gift. Both DH and I did not buy her a card, nor a gift, and we used the same line back to her that she has for years "Sorry, we got really busy and didn't get a chance to get to the store to get you a gift"....we think that is why she stopped by on Night 2, she probably thought that we finally "had time to get to the store"....nope sorry, ha ha. Sometimes the only way to teach a lesson is to give what you get.
I too feel that buying adult
I too feel that buying adult children gifts is too much. Once I graduated from college, I was an adult, I didn't need my parents anymore (financially). I never expected gifts from them. My SD20, SS21, SS24 still expect and get expensive gifts for bdays and xmas. I don't spend as much on my BSs 6 & 3. But I guess I don't have to buy my children's love. The skids are the same about buying gifts for their FDH and BM. They spend a lot of money on BM and have been thinking of the "perfect gift" for weeks. They make sure they tell us about their thought process too. When it comes to FDH, they grab something at the bookstore on something they think he likes every year My DH understands what it is, they have to get a gift and they wait to the last minute. It hurts him, but he never changes, still spends lots of money on them. My DH says that the kids don't have to grow up the way we did (meaning continuing to spend lots of money on them)....but aren't they grown up? UGH
I will not change his thinking, so I have learned that talking with him is a losing battle. I usually put money in my BSs accounts for xmas & bdays. Someday they will need it and it is better to have money set aside for later than give them more gifts that will just clutter up my house.
DH 21 yr old daughter told
DH 21 yr old daughter told her dad via txt she would get him a gift after she got her taxes back, because she is broke. (How does one get taxes back when one doesn't work?? Different story lol!) Anyway, yesterday she started txting him from a baby shower to tell him she ran into a women he used to know. She only does this to piss me off! He is happily married, why bring up other women? To clarify, I am not jealous and I am secure in my marriage, it just pisses me off because I know that is the only reason she is doing it. Second, if one has no money for a gift for their Dad's birthday, how does she have money for a baby shower gift? Oh yes, because all these teen's & 20 yr old girls having babies are way more important than her father! She is so stupid she doesn't even realize how her behavior affects her father. I have stopped offering my opinons to my DH, I just let him tell me information then I laugh about it on the inside
Yeah, It's pretty amazing
Yeah, It's pretty amazing isn't it? But then, it's probably the way she was raised. Once I read that people will actually talk themselves into thinking they are right in their thinking so that they don't have to face their own guilt for something they originally knew was wrong.
Giving should be reciprocal. I'm sure we've all experienced friends whom we gave and gave to, but recieved nothing back. Eventually we dropped them from our list of friends because we discovered they were thoughtless tight wads. Why can't this apply to Skids too?