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A strange turn of events

purplehaze's picture

Please read my post "the Ultimate Hatred" before reading this. Well, I did go with my fiance out of town, but stayed at the hotel for 3 hrs. like i said i would. I just layed in the bed the whole time and cried, i was just so upset. Anyway, when my fiance got back, he said his daughter had asked him to go eat lunch with them, and he said no, she then asked "why?" and he told her i was at the hotel and he was goin back there to be with me. So after he left, she called him and told him to please come and to bring me also. He asked me if i wanted to go and i said no thanks! If im not good enough to go to the graduation, then Im not good enough to go to a lunch. This all happened around 1 in the afternoon. Around 4, we decided to go eat someplace, and while we were eating, she called again, and told my fiance she was having a get together at her apt. and wanted us to come. I again said no, that i did not want to interact with that girl ever again. Well, morning came and she called at 8:30 to see when my fiance would be there at her apt. to move her. I did not want to go there with him, but it was easier if i went so he wouldnt have to backtrack to come back and get me. SO i went with him, and sat in the truck while he loaded up her things. She came to the truck window and spoke to her dad before we left, but didnt say a word to me. Was i wrong for not going when she asked? My fiance thinks somebody must have jumped her ass about how she was acting. Or maybe she just wanted to look good in her daddys eyes, so then she could say 'well i invited her". Everybody said that was messed up. I just dont know what to think anymore. I told my fiance that I would be moving out in a couple of months, as soon as i can get me a job and be self supportive and get my identity back. Believe me, I love this man so much, he is such a goodhearted, kind person, and I hate his daughter for putting him through all the BS. I guess thats my biggest gripe, the disrespect she shows him.

alwaysanxious's picture

No you were not wrong. I still say you could have stayed home all together. You went and you didn't put up with the silliness. I would not have gone either.

Shannon61's picture

I'm sorry you spent time crying your eyes out. I think had she truly been contrite about her behavior, she would have approached you while you were sitting in the truck and tried to smooth things over or at least make some attempt to be civil. To not even acknowledge you by speaking was the ultimate disrespect and your fiance should at least mention it to her.

Good for you for making plans to move out. Had I knew I'd have to deal w/this BS, I would have never moved in. . . until SD moved out!

smiles gone's picture

I am a SM to a 12 yr old, and a BM to my 4 yr old. I live my husband very much, of course sometimes I hate him, but I think we all have those moments. But, when we are dealing with the kids, that's when we don't get along the most. Its amazing, just Saturday, my son is usually with his BD every weekend as we live in the same town and we dj on the weekends, but all 4 of us were there. This may seem petty, but because the SD was with us, he left the restaurant to go to the car without me and my son. Now, I guaratee if she was not there it would have not happened that way, he would have waited for me and my son and held the door for me. Now someone tell me why I have problems when she is around. Then she hands on him, that drives me nuts..... I really love the way he treats me most the time but he can't seem to figure out whet his allegance (that the word I'm looking for) is... How is it so hard to be with your partner, your spouse and the kids be just that. Gosh, I can't wait for school to be out so she will go to her mom's for the summer and I won't have that stressor...i hate feeling this way...
Girl you are doing the right thing by leaving, if its a struggle now, it is not going to better ever. Men have no concept of what it feels like to be second best, because we as woman spent usually do that to them...

mjordan's picture

When I disengaged,I disengaged. I encourage my BF to spend tme with his 1 daughter who is rude to me. I now spend those times by myself. It hurts, as I ended up spending Easter Church by myself and know I will not be attending graduations or future weddings. I am not that worried about it. He loves me, listens to me and I have him most of the time. To go, cry, stay in the hotel crying is passive agressive IMO. I know how you feel, I know the pain and frustration, but that sent mixed messgages. By going, said, you wanted to be there, noticed, recognized, but then you did not participate. I do not mean to hurt your feelings. But you have to be respnsible for your actions too.