Just an update/vent today. I've not been active on the site for about 3 years.  Things have acutally been kind of quiet.  SD moved in with her baby daddy and SS actually did graduate from HS and got a job (a serious miracle). Neither one of them will ever achieve much but it seemed like a small bit of progress had been made.  Life got quiet, peaceful.  I knew logically, from reading this site and getting great advice from my fellow step parents, that adult skids can be just as bad, if not worse than the younger ones, but it was so easy to file that away and enjoy the quiet.  I fell into a sense of security.  SS and SD both talked to their dad about once a week. They maintained their relationships with him and I didn't have to be involved at all.  I didn't see them, talk to them, interact with them...it was bliss.  I actually thought "this all might work out and this could be our life".  Sigh.  You know this post isn't going to turn out that nice, right?   And I knew...I knew it wouldn't last...I just really wished it would.  SD left baby daddy and all hell has broken loose.  Without too much detail, we decided to help SD a little only to have her squander everything we gave, use guilt and insults to try to get more out of us and overall act like an entitled, ungrateful, spoiled brat.  DH thankfully put his foot down and now she is giving him the silent treatment.  Which is fine with me but I know it's not over.  (It's not this simple, it never is, but this is the basic jist.) Honestly she was the "good" one when she was a teenager and now she has turned into...well, her mother.  I told DH that BM has raised them thinking that they are entitled to everything he has worked for and he is only good for money and now he is suprised that his daughter is treating him exactly how BM treated him.  Thankfully he is not as clueless now and definitely sees what she is doing. But I'm trying to warn him that her next manipulation will be to try to "reconcile" and that will just be another way for her to ask for more money.  She doesn't want to work, she doesn't want to do anything. Baby daddy took care of her and now she wants her real daddy to take care of her. It disgusts me.  She has blown through thousands of dollars (not all ours) and the one job she was able to get, she blew off. Now it's our fault that she jobless and homeless.  Yeah, it's not and I have no sympathy for her.  I told DH she isn't even allowed to visit our house until she gets her stuff together. I'm done being nice and accommodating. Now that I see how life can be like, I'm not going to allow those two back in.  I told DH I won't stop him from having a relationship with kids, but it has to be somewhere else besides around me or in our home.  Thanks for reading. I hope everyone here remembers that you are not alone.  I'm sure I'll have more info in a few days/weeks when she realizes that the silent treatment is not working.