Weddings - another post
Hello All,
My son and his fiancee are planning a wedding for late auturm. I'll add here that they are a beautiful couple!
This past winter my daughter got married, and there were some issues with my husband's adult kids which I would like to avoid repeating.
My husband's kids essentially had a private photoshoot at her wedding. The photographer, who unfortuntely didn't understand the family dynmics, took many pictures of my stepkids. It held up the wedding schedule and upset my daughter, who was trying to get the photographer's attention for pictures of herself with friends. I started to flip, and told the wedding coordinator no more pics of the steps. She stopped it, but it should not have happened. She won't be helping at this next wedding.
My husband is irrational when it comes to his adult kids, who can do no wrong. It's not worth having a conversation with him about what transpired. Right now, I want to avoid it happening again.
I plan to let the photographer know in advance not to have photoshoots for anyone but the couple. There will also be a wedding coordinator to oversee photos and keep the scheudule on target.
My question is do I also have a talk with the steps? I thought of saying the only pictures are those which the coordinator organizes - we need to keep the evening running smoothly. I really wish I could give them some lessons on appropriate behavior, but not my job.
BTW, they also had a private photoshoot at my first son's wedding which I forgot about until I saw it in action again this winter.
Any suggestions would be helpful.
IMO, there is absolutely no
IMO, there is absolutely no point in talking to the skids. If you do, the only result will be that you come off as the evil stepmother and, probably, they will go out of their way to do exactly what you asked them not to. Besides, it your husband thinks hhis kids can do no wrong, why would these "perfect" individuals listen to you?
No, just ensure that the photographer and the wedding planner have an iron-clad plan for keeping them out. Also, let both of these people know how dissatisfied you were with your wedding planner and photographer at the last wedding and that they had better not mess up. After all, one dissatisfied customer can destroy a reputation ...
My Last Photographer
that I needed was for DHs retirement party. I am the one who decided what photos would be taken, how and when. Then I clearly relayed that information to the photographer. That part of the event went well due to my early preparedness. Nothing wrong in having a detailed list of what photos you want taken at any event but especially in the blended family mix.
You need to have a
Talk with the photographer. Telling him not to take pictures of step kids. You are paying him/ her. You are in charge of the pictures. There will be no pictures unless you approve of them.
If you sign a contract with
If you sign a contract with the photographer, you own the pictures taken that day. Include in that contract a list of pictures to be taken. Make it perfectly to that person that they are not to be side tracked and that any requests for pictures not of the wedding party are business opportunities for the photographer to schedule at another time.
If you want to be petty, you could let a picture or two be taken of the skids then delete them later. See contract
Proactively intercede with the photographer to not take any pics
of the Step Spawn.
End of proglem.
Inform them before hand that if there are any issues, they will be removed from the event by security.
Then, keep them under the hairy eyeball and if they step out of tline, they are out.
Immediately and publically.
What photographer puts more focus on skids and not
The bride and groom? Its not very professional at all allow extended family to take over the photoshoot and be centre of attention. The moment your daughter said enough we need pictures of me and my husband and guests the photographer should have immediately moved onto her.
you should be able to just tell photographer going forward that focus is on bride and groom. Any guests like friends and extended family should only need 1-2 pics max and move on. There is no private photoshoot with poses, duckface, fishlips and god knows what else.
Scandalous!
Not once but twice!
So, here is what I would do...considering that they are now extremely proficient in hijacking others for their exclusionary behavior... get ahold of some pics of them doing this, because you now have ample photos and SHARE them - as examples of who NOT to take pictures of!!!!
Tell photographer and wedding planner "here is who not to photograph, the last photograper who did we have had to let go and no positive referrals for future..." leave it trailing...also to include other folks who will be attending. They are now relegated to selfies only...
They must be total cheapskaters to hijack your bio kids wedding photographer for their own private shoot. They need to get their own photographers!