This will be interesting
DH's having a milestone birthday so we're having a big cookout. OSD and YSD aren't coming, SS and MSD are coming. MSD is a big instigator in most of our step problems. She is the one who declared I wasn't invited for Christmas. She also is the one who takes most the pictures at family events and makes sure I'm not in them. It was very noticeable last year at SGD's birthday while MSD was video taping SGD opening presents. When they got to mine MSD decided not to film SGD opening the present and instead panned around the room to the audience watching.
Anyway since OSD isn't coming MSD will be without her circle of mean girls. This should be interesting since all my children, my sister and her family, and our neighbor's are coming. Our neighbors are DH's best friends. Neighbor's wife asked me tonight if MSD was coming I said yes and she said "I really dislike her". LOL I agreed!
I love it when the mean girls show up on my turf and can't treat me like crap because my circle of people are here.
The picture taking was not
The picture taking was not the big deal but telling my husband I am not invited to Christmas and other family events is. Both combined are her way of showing I'm not part of the "family". My house, my rules this times! Having my circle here means I won't be ignored, disrespected, or treated rudly.
texas mom, i know just how
texas mom, i know just how you feel. we had a gathering and one skid was video talking to a relative. did she offer the phone for me to say hello? nope she walked the phone over to a pair of her fathers friends. like i was not there.
i totally understand how your being excluded is hurtful. liking the skids is not the issue here. by not including you in family photos they were excluding you and letting you know (and everyone else) that you were not important.
oh oh you have to post an
oh oh you have to post an update lol......
I hope DH asks her to leave with the first sign of being a brat...
Why would the "mean girls"
Why would the "mean girls" treating you like crap matter if your circle of friends are there or not?
If you refuse to tolerate it, confront it immediately each and every time it occurs, and make barring their asses your favorite hobby it should make no difference.
Quit being their victim. Make them your entertainment bitches and have fun barring their asses publically and brutally any time they ply their crap. Any "family" even your DH goes to... you go on his arm, be radiant, and knock em dead.
It's really hard to 'turn the
It's really hard to 'turn the other cheek' and 'rise above' when you've been excluded and hurt like you have. MSD will be on your turf, but as some of the other posters have have written, don't assume MSD will feel outnumbered or be nice.
My SD has been on my turf too at certain events. The people who attended these functions, including DH's own family have noticed how horrible she is but it did not change her behavior one iota. I think the thing you are pointing out is how good it feels to have other people's validation that it isn't you and you are not imagining things.
I agree that rude behavior should not be tolerated, and if MSD can not be nice it SHOULD be handled by both you and your DH. If your DH is non-confrontational you will have to take care of it yourself. If SD is being disruptive or obnoxious or playing any of her games, bring a friend for a witness, and SD take aside from the celebration. Then calmly inform her she has a choice of being respectful of you in your home or she will be leaving. Follow through if necessary.
the best thing about mean
the best thing about mean skids is you can give them a dose of their own medicine. since dh lacked the courage to put his children in their place and be respectful to me, i had to do it myself.
one skid was saying something nasty to me one day and i gave him a little twist of wit with a comment. you should have seen the look on his face. no one i suspect has ever stood up to him this way. her was speechless.
when you have taken the high road too many times and you see the disrespect still happening you have to let them have a taste of their own medicine.