Will it never end?
Gotta vent. I need today to be over... And to survive the rest of this step life.
The youngest step-child is 21 and the ex is still causing me grief! And she lives 400 miles and 2 states away. SS21 is stopping by today with mommy dearest on his way home from boot camp. I DON'T WANT THEM IN MY HOUSE! They've actually never been to my house.. (Court order said we got them for 4 weeks every summer, BM said we would run off with them and disappear and shenever sent them. HELLO> I don't want to go to jail for taking your brats!)
Anyways, my husband was yelling at all of us last night because the house wasn't clean for their arrival. He's the only one who knew they were coming! He didn't even help either. And gave me attitude because I didn't want to help. I told him I didn't want his ex there and he told me it was HIS house and she was coming.
SS started calling once a week about 2 months ago. Until then, he maybe spoke to his father once a year- and that was just at Christmas so he would get money. His daughter doesn't talk to him at all, actually has a second child who is almost a year old and we found out via FB because the ex accidentally posted a picture of the baby. My kids have had to listen to him tell his perfect son how proud of him he is and how perfect he is. Hubby was going to take this whole week off to go to the graduation- my husband doesn't get paid time off! My boys hate him so much right now.
And hubby is speaking almost daily with his ex and they're reminiscing about things and laughing and having a great time. Then he turns around and yells at me. SHE CAN HAVE YOU BACK!
So now the traveling party will be at my house around dinner time to go to dinner. I have like $75 in the bank account until we get paid tomorrow. But he wants to take everyone out to dinner. Really? You can't even feed 9 people at McD's for that much! (I think there's only 4 extra people showing up..) And my husband is mad that my oldest is working tonight and my daughter has dance. My son can't call in on his second day, and my this is my daughter's last day at this studio. If I hear "this is a very important day for me" out of his mouth one more time, I may not go home! When will I ever be free?
He used to go to dinner with
He used to go to dinner with her and the kids and not take me and our 3. That just made his kids think they were going to be a family again. I put a stop to that! (After much yelling..) I don't want to go today. I have nothing to say to any of them. Oh, I'm so proud of you getting thru boot camp and losing 40 pounds. You're like 220 now? Wow, you made it thru Army bootcamp? You didn't want to be a Marine like your dad? And what do I say to her? She likes to ask me if my husband still does certain things when he wants sex and comments on how he could do certain things with her bigger boobs. Yep, that's what I'm up against.
This is just way too much.
This is just way too much. You don't have to go to dinner with these people. You don't even have to see them. Go to a friend or family members house for the evening and only go home when you know the coast is clear.
You cannot make your DH NOT go to dinner with his EXW but you can show him that actions have consequences. No sex for a month, no dinner for a month? You know him and you know what will effect him. Use it. Don't feel bad either because he's hurting you and could care less about it.
"He used to go to dinner with
"He used to go to dinner with her and the kids and not take me and our 3."
What?? That is just plain wrong.
Actually, that whole paragraph is plain wrong. I couldn't handle that.
They will NOT be spending the
They will NOT be spending the night at my house. I draw the line there. I will pack my crap and walk out the door with my 3 kids and he won't ever see us again!
I foolishly thought after the
I foolishly thought after the last Skid turned 18 I would finally be free. Boy was I a fool. After reading about a lot of women with adult Skids, it seems to get worse.
DH = DickHead in your case.
DH = DickHead in your case. What a prize jerk! HIS house? HIS kid? HIS freaking EX?!? Not only would I NOT lift a single finger to help DickHead (except using that single finger to dial a phone to call a lawyer), I would change the locks on HIS house the second he walked his ignorant a$$hat self out the door. No way in HELL his EX should be stepping foot into that house - even if Satan and the Hounds of Hell are hot on her tail.
And why in the world should YOU and YOUR kids have to go play Happy Family with his kids and his EX FREAKING WIFE? The minute your paycheck hits the bank account, WITHDRAW ALL OF IT.
She can have him back? If it were me, I'd make sure he was free. Tell him to kiss your arse goodbye and drag his arse to court.
Let him pay for dinner from
Let him pay for dinner from HIS personal funds, make sure yours are no where to be found. the sad bad news is that it doesn't get better; DH's bios? No matter what crappy ass moves they pull, when they take out the daddy doll for playtime, all is forgiven. I could probably deal with the ex and skid stopping by - but if DH insisted I clean the house - uh no - I clean for myself or for people I like. DH is free to clean to his hearts content.
bah
just bah
Get some self esteem,
Get some self esteem, Woman!!!!!!!
Why are you taking this BS? Seriously. Read what you wrote in your post. No man is worth this BS. I don't care if you have 3 kids with him. Loose that worthless D765Head. You can do better. No way I would let these people in MY house, much less clean for them. Your husband wants the house clean, let him clean it. However, if I was paying the rent/mortgage, NO WAY would these two be coming in the door. I would tell your wonderful husband to go meet them somewhere else, and in the meantime pack your stuff and get the heck outta there.
From what you posted, it
From what you posted, it sounds like you are the bedwarmer/maid until he can get back together with his true love. I would not stand for it, myself.
If you aren't ready to leave for whatever reason, at the very MINIMUM, separate finances. There is no way in HELL that my BM would be treated to dinner with ANY of MY money!
If you really think about it,
If you really think about it, reacting and packing it up is only gonna fuel the fire. Sounds like he and his ex will have a good laugh and who knows what else. Do what you can during the visit, afterwards, you should probably do some serious thinking about why you're still with him; it doesn't sound like you guys have a great relationship to begin with and it certainly seems like he doesn't have any respect or consideration for you. Tommar24365 has a good point, it might be painful at first, but you could show those classless assholes what a lady you are and then boot his ass to the curb afterwards. I dunno, it's a tough spot kid.
How did I miss the boobs
How did I miss the boobs comment?! Had to re-read...and now I'm in total shock. This is definitely no okay at all...no respect. TEAM GTFO!
I am just trying to imagine
I am just trying to imagine my husband yelling at me to clean house because his ex is coming over (not to mention the other crap you posted about). All I can hear is the music from the Twilight Zone.
Don't forget cat poop don't
Don't forget cat poop don't near the foot of the bed!! So much better than dog poop because of all the little pieces of litter all over the bed...
I would make a great meal and
I would make a great meal and let them come cause they are coming anyway! I would be a polite hostess all while thinking dh owes me big time!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This sounds like what you would do in YOUR situation. She needs advice on what she should do in HER situation. Would you seriously be the gracious host if YOU were in THIS situation and being treated like this? I am truly curious.
I'm with you on the ass
I'm with you on the ass kicking part, but this BM would not set one toe in my house.
I get him wanting to see his son. But the son and mom are not a package deal.
I just found out we are also
I just found out we are also expecting her current boyfriend. He is begging my to go to dinner with him. I will only consider if she DOESN'T show up to my house. And I want fast food so it is over with quickly. They've never had White Castle. Could make their drive home enjoyable.. I just don't understand why this is so important all of a sudden when he was nothing but a paycheck for her! I am so happy to have found this board and realize I am not the only person who isn't a happy step parent.. You all make me feel so much better.
BM and her boyfriend can drop
BM and her boyfriend can drop SS off so he can visit with his dad. BM and BF can go to dinner, to a movie, whatever floats their boat and pick SS up later. At the curb.
It is really as simple as that.