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Wow - a break through?

calmlady's picture

Submitted by calmlady on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 11:14am

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Adult Stepchildren

Last night my SD came by because she was briefly in town for an eye appointment on her Thanksgiving break from teaching school. I fixed her dinner and was very kind. ( This is all after a week of calling her dad to see "how he is doing" - "if you can't talk, call me later" - of course my husband tells me these things because he loves me and even puts her on speaker phone so we can try and figure out what she is speculating or what she might need emotionally!!
Anyway, toward the end of our 1 and 1/2 hour visit. She looks at me and says - "you are better than me!!" What do you do with that? I simply said "no one is better than anyone else and I love you" ---- Anybody else experienced this?

Lauren1438's picture

Submitted by Lauren1438 on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 11:41am

Is it possible that she is finding her self in a SM role? Do you know if she is dating anyone?

If it is a break through that is great. Hopefully there can be a relationship of respect and understanding.

calmlady's picture

Submitted by calmlady on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 12:34pm

I certainly hope so.... I really do have a loving heart but have refused to let my emotions rule me any longer in things that are not true, honoralbe, equitable. I know she's not in a SM role but I do know she's dating someone relatively new. I'm sure hope we can all just getting along, there is not power play on my part, I just want to love my husband and get the respect I give. Looks promising. : )

calmlady's picture

Submitted by calmlady on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 12:40pm

I'm sorry tha you are being treated like that!!! I definately know that if my husband did not totally adore ME that they would have a different view. He puts me on a healthy pedestal and keeps me there. I have 5 step children and the speculation has almost be entertaining for us - but YES I think that if the spouse is 100% about his choice (his wife) then it all falls into place!!! I thank you for your view on this it is very encouraging and made me smile. I really want everyone to enjoy their lives and feel secure that they are loved no matter what, biological or not. Life is to short for the emotions that are not real. When I start to speculate in a negetive way. I "kill it at the thought". Thanks for your post : )

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 12:49pm

My dh would never let my skids have that much power to meet else where! He knows that is just a way for them to manipulate him. It is wrong and he knows it. He is a skid himself and he has been there done that.

I have never had that experience but I hope this is a turning point for your sd. I hope she will see that you are not there to take her dad away but to add to her life as much as you have to her dad.

calmlady's picture

Submitted by calmlady on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 1:00pm

Love your quotation Purpledaises - like it a lot : ) Happy Thanksgiving

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 1:33pm

Thank you so much I got from a friend on face book. She is a great person. Happy Thanksgiving to you too Smile

I won;t have my skids this year but they will be here on fri to sun as bm 'can't handle' them. :sick: