Any ideas/excuses to get out of the house on kid weekends?
EOW is a new experience in neediness and annoyance. My SD12 and SS8 think the world revolves around them and they expect to be entertained all the time. This is equally DH and his ex-wife’s fault – they fawn over those kids to a nauseating degree. I know my parents loved my sisters and me, but every weekend was NOT planned around entertaining us and indulging our whims. I constantly hear, "What are we going to do?" DH splits custody 50/50 so it isn't like he never sees his kids. I don't understand why he feels the need to plan some sort of activity or outing all the damn time.
I feel guilty at times that I find their presence annoying and that I look for opportunities to escape it, even if it's just making sure I'm in a different room at home under the guise of cleaning or catching up on work, or purposely leaving work late during the week.
I do more than my fair share of helping out with DH’s kids. During the school year, I get their breakfast ready and pack lunches if needed. I am always the one that goes grocery shopping, plans and cooks the meals. DH never goes to the store and rarely prepares meals. I sit through SS’s baseball games on weekends every spring. Looks like I will be sitting through boring doubleheaders for BOTH kids this fall. Although there will have to be a Saturday or two that I just bow out. I'm tired of giving up what little free time I have to do things I don't enjoy. I hate to disappoint DH, but I really don’t want to spend every Saturday sitting at the ballpark for HOURS on end.
Does anyone have any good ideas/excuses to avoid some of this mind numbing, boring kid stuff?
No I'm, not going. I don't
No
I'm, not going.
I don't want/feel like going.
Just be honsest.
I play golf and go to the
I play golf and go to the gym. Mani's Pedis and shopping. I don't have much SKid drama anymore since SS16 is a recluse and SD18 is not here and not welcome here anymore.
But, sometimes, my husband just annoys me now. }:)
When it was bad with SD, I started playing golf again and working out more. I also, encouraged him to do things with them by himself. My BS19, camped a lot with the Boy Scouts, so he was gone and I wasn't letting her rule my weekend.
I will say that the Disney Daddy, went away when he got tired of dealing with SD by himself all the time. He was exhausted when it was just him that had to listen to her drama.
You are doing too much...JMHO
I have the same problem. If
I have the same problem. If I don't plan something, we will just sit there. I often feel like SO has no idea what to do with HIS daughters (SD14 and SD11).Even they say the house is better when I'm around
I never needed an excuse. My
I never needed an excuse. My husband's daughter was just that, his daughter and he took care of her needs and her entertainment. He did not feel that constant entertainment was a need, like some of these Disney Dads.
My husband knew that I never wanted children and while I did do stuff with SD, it was completely my choice. We had her EOWE and she was not there to spend time with me so I really didn't feel guilty. There was no way in hell I was going to leave my own house if I didn't want to.
Luckily, my SD was not involved in any sports or anything else so that was not an issue.
I think it's time to have a sit down with your DH and just be honest. Your life shouldn't have to revolve around his kids. That will lead to a lot of resentment.
"I do more than my fair share
"I do more than my fair share of helping out with DH’s kids"
Well, for starters, you have no "share" in helping with these kids. they are not yours. their care, feeding, nurturing, etc. is the responsibility of the two people who chose to bring them into this world.
once you get past that, its easy.
i exercise, go out with friends, engage in my gambling habit at the casino, or visit my own mom who lives 2 hours away.
during the weekday visits its only 3-4 hours so i often just work late then exercise. the weekends are by far the hardest to avoid although im lucky as my SD13 begs off all the time and has only ever spent one full weekend with us in the 1.5 years ive lived with her father.
I agree with the no-excuses
I agree with the no-excuses bunch. Just tell him the truth. His kid his responsibility.
I wouldn't give any excuses.
I wouldn't give any excuses. Just say I don't want to go. Sounds like you work your butt off and need a break. He'll understand or man up and put his wife first!!!!
Don't make an excuse. If you
Don't make an excuse. If you need to justify how you're feeling to your DH, then K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, stupid, or things work best when they're simple), I had to do this with my DH. I sat him down and said, "I was happily single, with no children. You wanted me in your life, and I do want you in mine. However your daughter is your responsibility, and while I may attend a few events or occasions that are centered around them, YOUR children cannot take over my life." -- I went on to add that if he were to leave this earth tomorrow, his daughter would not be visiting me in a nursing home in 40 years, so I shouldn't have to give up MY LIFE and MY INDIVIDUALITY for his daughter right now. But that is moving away from the K.I.S.S. standard.
Sounds like you're more worried about losing DH's affection or approval than you are about respecting yourself. As I'm sure any of us that are in your shoes would say, don't lose yourself trying to play mommy to some other woman's kids. Unless you have a VERY special relationship with a SK, chances are you will always take back burner in their life, so why should they get the whole stove of your life?
Probably longer than it should have been, but I hope you can find yourself on some level ground soon.
No excuses needed, but I make
No excuses needed, but I make sure I plan things to do EOW just so I am around as little as possible. Having a dog helps as we go on looooooooong walks at the weekend and go to fun dog shows during the summer. I meet friends for lunch/dinner or just go into town and mooch around the shops. Having said that, I do feel I need to go out unfortunately as there is always one of them dossing around the house and I don't get any space on my own. At least if yours all go out you get the house to yourself.