Can jealousy be overcome?

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I am new on here but some of the posts have been very helpful! I have been married to my wife for 5 years and together for 6.5 years. I am in a jealous situation with my SS15. I have no kids of my own. I fell in love with my wife after she already had 2 children in her first marriage, she's 8 years older and had her tubes tied. But you fall in love with who you fall in love with right? She has always put her kids first before me, I suppose thats what a good mom would do. Then her oldest moved out and I thought that there would be some more time for her and I to do things just the two of us. Turns out that she actually just "doubled-up" on her attention to her younger son. I am stuck at the bottom of the totem pole after her kids and even her mom is above me when it comes to her time any more. It seems that she has become overly confident in our relationship and has taken it for granted that I am comfortable being last in priority for her time. Im starting to feel like Im just her roommate at this point. I wonder if there is even any way she will be happy when it is just her and I. Looking for advice from any other SP with no bio-kids

I have definitely told her

I have definitely told her about how I feel. Repeatedly. She has always been close with her kids but I assumed as they got older that they would start having they're own lives and we would have more time to ourselves. Instead she is latching on even harder and him not having any friends and latching on right back is causing a lot of resentment on my part. I have tryed and tryed to spice it up and she is always too tired or just plain not interested. Her focus is 100% on her son right now and 0% on our marriage, whats left of it anyways.

One of the things you fell in

One of the things you fell in love with was her devotion to those she loves. As you don't have children, you will never fully understand the bond she has with her children. You don't stop loving them or being available to them no matter how old they are. I think the issue is that you have never felt this bond and therefore cannot relate. What you feel is abandonment and jealousy. I can tell you that you should sit down and talk it out. If she is not willing to make a few allowances to put your relationship in a better place,you need to leave. It really is just that simple. It may be that your wife has too many prior responsibilities to ever make you truly feel wanted and happy. There is more than likely someone else out there that can be the spouse you actually need. Everyone deserves to be happy. Sometimes we fall in love with the wrong people and spend way too much time trying to WORK OUT the issues.....

I consider my mothering

I consider my mothering fairly normal so here is how it is in my relationship. I have two bs and two ss. Older ss moved out last spring (YAY) my old bs moved out a couple of weeks ago and went to college. Now I have my bs15 still here with me. I have noticed that more then anything bs15 is coming out of the weedworks more and spending time with DH and me in the livingroom now that his older brother is gone. Ss16 is another story and I pretty much ignore him but dh spends time playing xbox with him in the rec room and while they're playing bs15 and I hang out watching tv or each on our laptops, etc. Dh and I each take our own sons out for McD's or Jack in the Box seperately and once in awhile we take the boys out for all you can eat buffet, once in awhile we all sit and watch football or a movie. So in other words a parent spending time with a teen is pretty sparse b/c most teens have friends, school and other activities and interests outside of the parents. By this time mom can finally go to bed early with dh and watch a movie together in your room while the teens get to bed on their own, etc. You get my drift! If my mom were still alive and lived in my town we'd likely go out a couple times a week or visit once a week. Ya, you have to leave that relationship alone.

I suppose thats the problem

I suppose thats the problem here. He has very few friends and all he does is hang all over his mom. He cant even just let her go somewhere with me without getting mad and if she does go withot him then hes texting her the whole time. They are up each-others butts and it wasnt this bad until her oldest moved out. When i suggest romancing it up a little bit she is not interested becuse shes tired, but she will NEVER tell him no for anything. Not sure what I am going to do yet.

Bottom line....how your wife

Bottom line....how your wife SHOULD act and how she ACTUALLY acts with her son is 2 different things. In life change what you can...and leave alone what you truly can't. The age of 15 is a time when teens NEED...NEED...NEED their Moms. If she pulls away now to focus on you...look out, the young man can and will look to others for that attention and that is not a good thing. I am sure this young man is feeling a little lonely since the older sibling left. He will get less needy as he gets older. But you either have to be patient or move on. Telling your wife how she should be reacting to her 15 y.o. sons needs will certainly not get you any brownie points.

hi! maybe i can shed some

hi! maybe i can shed some light from the other side...i have 2 daughters and i am in a commited relationship with a man who has no kids. Personally i think your wife should make sure to give you attention esp over her mother. i go above and beyond to give my man attention of his own away from the kids. i try to see his side in liveng his life and making a decision to not have kids and then to fall in love with someone who does have kids. sit her down and talk to her, no fight or yell, actually talk and tell her you feel left out and want a little more. hopefully it will help

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