I will never understand
Why S/O picks up phone calls from BM when FSD is with HIM. She called last Saturday and he answered. *mega eye roll* He put her on speaker phone and the first thing she asks is if he is busy this coming weekend. He says says yes and without skipping a beat she begins telling him all the reasons she can't take FSD over the weekend AGAIN. She'll take her THUR & FRI but not the weekend. Well BM that's NOT THE SCHEDULE!! Anyway, so of course our adult time plans are cancelled AGAIN. S/O doesn't answer her he just tells her he'll call her later. He hangs up and wants to have a discussion with me about what he should do. I just say that he's not willing to do what I would do so don't bother asking me. Then he asks if I'm annoyed and I say of course I'm annoyed and then he wants to try and make me not annoyed. I just told him that I will never not be annoyed with BM being a flake and thus ruining any weekend plans we may have had and for being s***** parent so stop trying to tell me how to feel. Considering the fact that every time she does this it's ME that has to come to him. He never packs FSD up in the car to come spend a day in my neck of the woods (we live 40 miles apart) I'm tired of it and I have plans with my friends this weekend that he was invited to. One is kid friendly so FSD can go, the other is not. One of my childhood friends moved to Argentina after high school and she's coming to visit. They've never met and now they won't because he can't come when I go to hang out with her on Saturday. She's only here for a short time so oh well I guess. I know he would rather me cancel my plans with my friends but he's high if he thinks that's going to happen. We will just have to deal with hanging out one day this week.
Thank you for reading my rant.
On another related topic. Does anyone else's skid follow them around and copy everything they do? My FSD does this to me and I'm trying to feel flattered but I find that I'm a tad bit annoyed by it. Which in turn makes me feel bad. We went to the beach over the weekend and I had been wearing jeans and a tank top because when I woke up we hadn't decided to go yet. We decide to go to the beach and S/O dresses her in pants and t-shirt over her bathing suit. I went out of the room to change into some shorts and a shirt over my bathing suit. When I came back downstairs she saw I was wearing shorts and promptly asked S/O if she could wear shorts too. She wants to have her hair braided like mine. She will change her shoes if she's wearing tennis shoes and I'm wearing sandals. If she asks S/O for candy and he offers some to me I generally don't want any so she'll say never mind to the candy she originally asked for. She follows me everywhere including to the bathroom and waits outside the door. She refuses to play her dad and if I don't feel like playing I'm pretty much guilted into it because S/O will offer to play with her and she says, "no I want to wait for jymcat". If we're eating food she won't say it's good unless I do. "It's good jymcat, right?" "Does jymcat think it's good?" I couldn't even swim in the pool over the weekend because every time I dove she'd be right behind me. You know what's also behind me when I swim? My friggin legs. I kicked her accidentally so many times because she'd swim right behind me. The list goes on. I basically have a living breathing, talking, bite sized 3D shadow.
I don't have children of my own so idk if this is normal behavior. My nieces and other munchkins tend to like the stuff I have but they don't copy me. S/O thinks she wants to be just like me. I asked if she does this with her mother and he said no. She told me she's going to go ask her mother if she can do her hair like mine. Which is problematic for a couple of reasons.
Does anyone else experience this?
I am happy that she likes me
I am happy that she likes me because of all the people on here who share their stories about their skids who don't like them. I've got to figure out why it irks me.
S/O keeps track of everything on his calendar and so do I. I've repeatedly asked him to communicate with her via email so that he'll have the conversations on record but he refuses to. I've given up on that because it's not worth the fight. I just hope that a calendar is enough to show that she's not keeping up her end of the custody agreement. Even when she's not flaking on her weekends, she doesn't follow the agreement on a weekly basis. She's supposed to take FSD during the week 1 day if FSD will be spending the weekend with her and two days if FSD is spending the weekend with her father. She never takes her during the week. Only on the weekend and often calls to say she won't be taking her. I hope S/O will have the agreement modified but I honestly don't think he will. Since he's going to let her do whatever she wants we'll just have to figure it out on our end and unfortunately that may mean we don't see each other for a week.
Exactly. You guys are the
Exactly. You guys are the ones letting her get away with it, so stop letting her. It's not YOUR responsibility to come up with a babysitter, it is HERS.
That is exactly what I think.
That is exactly what I think. I've had that exact conversation with him before which is why I said don't bother asking me what to do when he asked me what I thought. I think he thinks it would make him a bad father if he were to tell BM to figure something out. I can't make him think like I do so I just don't bother. My current automatic response to any complaints he makes about BM and the custody is "reduce her time or allow her to apply for different days".
Incoming 3D shadow rant: Oh
Incoming 3D shadow rant:
Oh wow, my cousin does the same things you are describing, and I am 18 years older than her. I get EXTREMELY irritated from having a shadow when she visits. (thankfully she lives half the country away) If you want to know how to boil my blood, you just wait for me at the bathroom door while I shower or use the restroom. She wants me to brush her hair and style it, put on my makeup, do my nails, have me do her nails, wear clothing similar to mine, sit on my lap ---she's pretty overweight too so this is not comfortable and snuggly..... (she's bloody 11 years old now!!!) Then she wants you to cut her food because she's "helpless"........... This pisses my entire family off but no one has the guts to tell her no because she's on "vacation" and don't want her to have a bad time. *barf* THEN she wants to sleep in the same bed as me (pre-fiance) eww??? Then she wants me to give her a bath .....Omg and about the kicking??? LOL ....okay so my grandfather has a large sailboat and we put a rope out and hang onto it and get drug around the lake. So she's a scare-dy cat about EVERYTHING but the lure of me being in the water is too much! She gets her life jacket on, and goes out and is just in sheer panic. Granted we aren't even going fast enough for my bikini bottoms to come off (which can happen and then you scream OMG DONT LOOK~!!) So she's on the rope, and shes kicking her damn legs. WHY??? YOU ARENT SWIMMING THE BOAT IS PULLING US!!!!! She just keeps kicking the crap out of my legs and there is like 15 feet of more rope to hold onto instead of being on top of me. I just bitch the entire time at her to STOP KICKING ME!!!!! So THEN, the life jacket flips her over onto her back and she just about has a stroke. She completely lost it, kicking and crying, screaming. And I am right there, nothing possibly could happen to her not to mention the 4 adults that are a dive away. So I get her back onto the boat, and she calms down and wants to come back onto the rope. I am like forget this, and I get out too. So then there are 6 comfy seats out of the boat, and I sit on top of the hatch to let my elders have the nice seats and so she could be there too. Nope.....she comes up and crowds me on the hatch and so I burn myself on some of the metal up there scooting away from her. I told her to go back down there because I sat up there to let everyone else sit comfortably. So then I go up on the bow to nap/tan. She follows me of course. The California sun puts her to sleep right away and I escape to hang out with the adults. Granted this is different since she is my cousin and not a step kid but jesus christ this is not flattering and I would rather be shit on by 10000 seagulls than have her in my every move.
So I was told I was having her in my wedding party, so I made her a flower girl to make everyone happy. Then my aunt tries to sneak her into being a Jr bridesmaid. Hell no. I only see this twit once a year, she doesn't get to wear the same dress as my best friends. My aunt found out that she could order a dress in the same color as my bridesmaids since we were buying them from davids bridal even though I said over and over that she is a flower girl, not a bridesmaid. My aunt tried to tell me "well she is too big for flower girl dresses" ....she texts me a picture of my cousin in a floor length, sweet-heart neckline dress........on an 11 year old. I had a stroke, I called my mother in a full blown rage, and she had the nerve to call me Bridezilla .....but then everyone , friends and family were appalled by the dress and how inappropriate it was so then finally I had people defending me. We then came to the realization that my cousin had a tantrum and always gets what she wants. She wears tons of makeup, has high heels, an iphone 5, gets her nails and toes done regularly...etc. Spoiled rotten, pathetic, and a pain in the ass. I eventually found a dress that I wanted her to wear and my aunt did purchase it, thank goodness. But the drama doesn't end there.....
She got invited to my bridal shower!!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!! Now I've read both sides to this, that yes its appropriate and no its not. So I am hoping my friends give lots of underwear gifts etc...so I can then prove to my mother that I didn't want her there and she didn't belong there. But it's okay, my aunt drops her off on my mom every summer for two weeks so now my mom has to deal with her after AND my aunt had to pay 150$ extra to the airline for unaccompanied minor. I was extra pissed because at first my aunt was saying she wasn't even going to make the bridal shower and just let my cousin come out .....RUDE??? We were hoping with the extra fee from the airline she would just go home with her mother.
OMG I am so sorry I am totally ranting but I completely understand with how you feel about her being all over you!!! And locking yourself in your room doesn't even help because they just wait there......patiently....... ARGHHhhHh!!!!