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is it wrong of me?

Hanna's picture

DH has a child that is actually not his bio, he knows this, the child, soon to be a teen doesn't. There has been some baby talk between us, but is it wrong of me to want a family free of secrets? I don't want to raise a child to think that it has a half sibling, when it's not true. :?

Disneyfan's picture

I think this is the 2nd worst. She was "kind" enough to share the recipe for a tea that would induce a miscarriage with a poster who thought her SD was pregnant.

Jellybeam's picture

Agreed!

doll faced sm's picture

Sorry, but I really feel you have no right to interfere with your DH's relationship with his son. I am assuming you married him knowing that he had a child and that it was not biologically his. *THAT* was the time to consider whether or not you wanted your children to have a half sibling that biologically wasn't.

It is not wrong of you to want a family free of secrets, but you cannot have that with this man unless *he* changes his mind. If you "help" him change his mind, later when it all blows up in his face, he'll blame you.

Also, I find what SMFH suggested to be morally reprehensible.

Your options in this situation as I see them: childfree step-mom, work past your insistence on a "family free of secrets," or divorce. Perhaps speaking with a therapist can help you work out what is ultimately the best option for you.

Hanna's picture

not at all, in fact he HAS a bio child, is the idea of lying to my own future child that bothers me. Even if it was adoption, I feel that parents should tell the truth. You only make things worst by trying to hide them like it's something wrong.

Hanna's picture

the thing is that DH didn't know until just a few years ago, and I would never be the one to say anything, I know it's not my place to say it.