Lying SD
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My 10 year old step-daughter likes to lie for attention. To everyone. When one person (namely me) stops giving her attention for her lies, she tells everyone else (BM, husband's mom and sister, etc) lies about that person. It's like the child thrives on drama. No suprise, her mother is the same way. But after her last set of lies about me (which made everyone say I can't see the kids while hubby is deployed) I can't believe a word she's said about her own mother. But now her lies are getting even more dramatic, and my mother-in-law has blatantly threatened me with bodily harm. (Wich was 7 HOURS after hubby returned to duty after the Christmas break/leave)
Any ideas on how to handle her lies when hubby comes back in March?
Welcome to ST! A very large
Welcome to ST! A very large proportion of us here, live with BMs and SKIDs who love drama and create constant conflict to entertain and amuse themselves. So you are among friends.
However, I found bits of your post confusing. Are you custodial parent? If so, do I understand that while your DH was deployed you had care of his kids? And they were taken from you by his family? Or are you non custodial and you were prevented from seeing SKIDs?
On the subject of how to handle lies. Most habitual liars get a reputation as such, which will often mean no-one believes a word they say, even when they're telling the truth. Hopefully your DH has enough sense to see what his daughter is doing. If not, and he backs her up in her lies, perhaps you want to be reassessing whether you have a future together.
The lying thing needs to be
The lying thing needs to be nipped quickly!! Her father needs to be the one to dole out severe punishment (and I'm not talking about beatings here, just firm and successful punishments) every.single.time this kid lies. About anything at all.
I'd definitely take a step back and not allow her over if your DH isn't present. She's old enough now to understand that her lying about you can get you in serious trouble. You're putting yourself at a major risk if you spend any time alone with this child.
Good luck. I also have dealt with this issue and now SD14 no longer comes around and DH refuses to be alone with her at any time because of her horrible lies.
We re the non-custodial
We re the non-custodial parents. I used to see the kids all the time. Babysit, or whenever they asked to come over. I may be the stepmom, but my husband wants me to treat them like they're mine, so I tried to. If they wanted to come over, I've never said no. She would tell everyone these wild stories about her mother beating her to get sympathy, and how she wants to live with her dad and me. Custody has been a big issue that everyone blames me for bringing up, when it was her mother that told her "you will never live with your dad." But the last time she said "I wanna live with daddy" I told her "let's not talk about custody" because I was tired of the drama. I had gone to the school to have lunch with her because she asked me to. Well, since I didn't give her the attention she was seeking, she went home and told her mother that I went to the school to tell her that my husband was going to get custody of the children when he came home. I did no such thing. Her mother proceeded to call me a bad influence, which is rediculous, because I'm the only persn who ever takes those kids to church! (With both parents' permission)
I've been living in a pink
I've been living in a pink bubble of absolute bliss (ok not completely but regarding the kids this is how I felt sort of) until SS13 popped it with his lying, attitude and total disrespect of me and his mother... the lies he has told about me are crazy and that's just the ones I've learned of. This is a kid who I've loved as my own trusted never had problems with but clearly my pink bubble blinded me to all his crap. Deep down I knew something wasn't right but hell I can only do so much I've been in SS life for over 6 years now and I thought we were going to be fine no drama no hassles then he steals from me lies to us in our faces and still pretends like he did nothing wrong and his Dad rewards all of this bad behavior too!!!! I have never been so angry or disappointed in my life. I've giving up studying further to provide a home, food etc for this family and the thanks I get is stealing and lying?!!! Today after reading much on this website and this post in particular I've come to realize I've made mistakes I got too involved thought I could love as a BioM does but I can't I am not his mom I am not his parent he has two already. This has been kind of a eye opener for me and a bit of a heart breaker but now how to enforce that feeling in the rest of my life and my relationship? How do I follow through and carry this attitude into my home without causing more damage??? All I know is that emotionally I am fried physically spiritually I'm done I'm tired and ready to call it a day and I hate myself for feeling this way :sick: