Moving closer to stepkids

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My husband has come to the conclusion that he needs to be closer(physically) to his children(ages 15 and 18). We live in SC and they live in Ga. We agreed that Augusta would be a good place to reside because we would be close to both of our families. My concern is that his kids and BM are drama filled in everything that they do. Every event in their lives is blown out of proportion. I am afraid that when we move closer, BM will want DH over to her house because the kids are out of control. I know that this makes me a bad person(and stepmom) but I feel pretty safe from the drama in SC. When we move to Ga, we will be thrown in to the mix. I do not want DH nor me to get hurt by BM and skids antics. Dh has a hard time saying no and attempts to avoid the drama by hanging up the phone; it will not be this easy being so close now. I do not want my husband to not have a bad relationship with his kids but at the same time, I do not want him to set himself up for failure. IDK what to do...I don't even want to tell him my thoughts on this.

When the kids were younger,

When the kids were younger, DH as dating a woman who did not like the kids and had issues with DH seeing kids. In turn, Dh was not in kids lives as much as he wanted. I think that this is his way of trying to be super dad and saving the day I guess. I don't want to be the reason that DH is not spending time with his kids. I can foresee him being over he BM's house all the time and me freaking out. It's just a concern that I have with the entire situation. BM has never gotten over DH and SS15 still wants mom and dad to get beck together. I think that I will do the pro/con list; will definitely have the talk with DH.

If you can foresee your DH

If you can foresee your DH being over at BM's all the time and you freaking out (I would be too) then I think the most important boundaries need to be between you and DH. After that, boundaries between you/your DH and the rest of them (SK's and BM) need to be clear and concise. You need to make it very clear that if these boundaries begin to slip..... back to SC you go.

Where did anyone advise SM to

Where did anyone advise SM to demand the SK's not come over???? Good grief, are you even on the right thread???

Boundaries never did kill a

Boundaries never did kill a kid... as much as over the top BM's and disney dad's may want us to think otherwise.

Once again, most of the posters are referring to boundaries with the BM. Perhaps if you weren't always looking at things from a defensive BM role, you could see the ENTIRE situation and sound off accordingly.

"But if ANYONE ever said my

"But if ANYONE ever said my kids cant come over anytime I want"

Yes, I can go to MY SM's house anytime SHE wants (it is her house) but, I don't go to HER house anytime I want. That's a boundary. BTW, the same boundary is in place at my BM's.... as well it should be. Some people can handle boundaries and some can't, I guess.

Actually as a child (COD

Actually as a child (COD here) I was never allowed to do whatever I wanted, which included going back and forth to either parents home at MY OWN whim. That's the problem today. Children being given the power. My parents (all 4 of them) made the rules, taught and enforced boundaries. Seriously lacking in society today.

Have to agree with ALL OF

Have to agree with ALL OF THIS^^^^^^^

TBH, these SK's are 15 and 18. Most of the damage has been done. Apart from seeing them on a more regular schedule, you should be asking DH what his expectations really are here. Yes he can attempt to repair his relationship with them but, not on BM's terms OR property. Tread carefully, this seems like a landmine situation to me, personally.