Pass Downs...
DH said something over the weekend that made me kind of sad. I blew it off but then it came up again in my dream last night.
Mind you everyone is pushing for us to have a baby, DH even said he wanted one but knows we need to wait to get other stuff done first. He talked about how he knows I would be a much better involved mom than just trying to be MOTY like BM. I am someone who just wants the best for the child I don't care my stance which I shown many times with SS.
Anyways the comment was "I can't wait to have someone to give all of SS's toys too" meaning his ATV, dirtbike all of that. My response "You know they would have to get their own toys aswell" DH "I know"
I just I can't imagine have to sacrificing and dealing with the time he has spent working on stuff for SS and not having that done for my child as well.
I really don't think he meant it be rude but it makes me question - how many of your DH's do you think would try to take a current Skid nice toy to give to a BIO of y'all and would it bother you?
I think I would be okay with some of it as I know DH would re-customize it, and I would be damned if my child got nothing but SS's old toys but it still kind of made me sad - as he has spent many hours invested in toys for SS that has taken away from our time, and caused him to blow up on me because he was aggravated something wasn't working. I guess especially with Christmas coming up and seeing as last year SS got a ATV, and this year he is working on a custom dirtbike I just kind of resent that he told me my gift was my rifle which I have only got to shoot once, while SS says I think this would be cool and DH starts looking at stuff on Craig's List.
SS isn't even getting it new
SS isn't even getting it new his four wheeler is a 95 model that DH out a new motor in and customized.
I wouldn't mind some of it going down but its still a concern to me and I don't want a child for at least 2-3yrs as I am re-establishing my career at this point...but why not sell them to help with additional SS expense for college fund etc and rebuy? We spent $400 to initially buy the four wheeler it is now work about $2000 with a total of $1000 investment. The dirt bike $340 and don't know investment yet but I mean its not like he is going out and buying new stuff anyways...if he was I think I'd feel different.
All clothes at this point go to our nephew who is like 2yrs younger than SS and FIL/SMIL I mainly take care of him so I feel good they are still being used in the family.
This is actually one of my
This is actually one of my biggest concerns regarding having kids of my own. You're not alone!
Our situation is an incredibly complicated one - and among the hundreds of things that have caused me to freak out is the fact that DH's parents have been spoiling SS1 like crazy since the moment they found out about him (despite the circumstances and repeated requests that they tone it down.) And my fear is that when DH and I have a child of our own someday, he/she won't be treated with the same level of excitement as SS1. I know that it seems shallow, but I can't help it.
I guess the one thing that makes me feel better about it is knowing that my parents and I will be there to spoil my kids. You should express how you feel to your DH - it's not just about the stuff, but about the time and energy and thoughtfulness behind those gifts - and your child deserves the same as any other.
I have somewhat mentioned it
I have somewhat mentioned it but t this point since baby talk is on the back burner again I don't want randomly bring it up.
I can see SMIL not being as excited but I have no other fears of DHs family not doing the same for our child, it would probably get more since with waiting other grand kids would be older unless BIL has one, and I'm not a bitch like BM.