So damn angry
I'm so angry. I feel it like a ball in my tummy. I've been living in step hell for 6.5 years. I've posted before, canceled my account so most of my posts have gone. Maybe some might remember. Anyway, I'll give background later but for now let me roar.
My bf, divorced, 3 sd's posted a story on ig which was a shared post from a daddy account which read. " when people without kids tell me they're exhausted"
I work full time, he does not. He is self employed and barely works. My work takes me around the world and I work my arse off. He sits at his desk at home, a little bit of coding, a bit of making music a bit of manual labour. I have never voiced that I work more than him, but I do. I earn more. And he posts that offensive thing. His kids are sd24, sd21 & sd9. They're not awful. But have their moments. His life is not that bad compared to the horrors out there. He is NOT exhausted! I however, am. Tired of all of this. Step life is not worth it.
thank god for this site.
sorry, will add more details later. Thank you for the rant
a very exhausted and emotional unloved gf
W
W
THIS!
You hit the nail on the head here, ImperfectlyPerfect!
I agree I think he is jealous of your life.
It also sounds like you are kind of too good for him anyways. I would be thrilled that you're not tied down by marriage with this guy and this sounds like a jab and an act of disrespect towards you.
I would confront him about this if I were you. Look him dead ass in the face and ask "What was that post about?"
Somehow post got erased @Rose
Somehow post got erased @Rose_Pedal but we're on the same page & what you wrote was the direction I was going. :)
People post stupid
People post stupid generalizations on social media without really thinking about it. I have to avoid social media, it is bad for my mental health.
He might not be thinking about his life now, maybe he is thinking back some years ago perhaps when he had a baby a 14 year old and an 11 year old or maybe when he had a 3 year old and a newborn?
I would hope that your bf did not post that as a dig at you. l get you're exhausted and feeling unloved and (perhaps) that all your hard work is taken advantage of. You said there is more to your story and this meme is probably just pushing buttons for other stuff going on in your relationship.
Okay - I can tell you're
Okay - I can tell you're emotional but I have a couple of clarifying questions.
#1 Do you live together/share bills?
#2 If you do live together and share bills, are your frustrations based on his lack of contribution or something else?
#3 Do you know how to do his job? Do you know how to code? It's not easy to do, ya know. And people with the skill to do it get paid handsomely and if they are very good, they don't have to work as hard as others.
You've never been a parent so it's possible that you don't lose sleep at night worrying about whether your high school kid will graduate or if your 30 year old daughter will finally land a job as an engineer after nearly 6 months of being unemployed.
You're also probably not aware that kids in the 80's (me) who graduated from high school COULD find a cruddy apartment and live rather cheaply eating ramen noodles with a couple roommates, but adult children today are struggling to find rents they can even afford with the low wages they are earning. Nevermind that they are more immature than the two generations preceding them.
Earning more doesn't mean you work more. Yes, you travel. Your career - your choice.
I worked a LOT harder in physically demanding jobs before I earned my bachelors and masters degree in IT. I did back breaking work for paltry wages while raising 3 kids - all with learning disabilities and two with Autism.
Now that I'm educated and experienced in my field, I work smarter - not harder.
Please don't get into the habit of having a pissing match with your partner over who works more/harder. It was a big bone of contention with me and my first husband who thought being a stay at home mom was one big vacation. It's a toxic mindset.
In my current relationship, my partner will often dismiss my feelings over a matter as trivial because he lost his late wife nearly 9 years ago to cancer and thinks that if it isn't as bad as that, it's irrelevant.
Don't invalidate his experience. If he feels exhausted, maybe be curious as to why. Maybe get to the root of your resentment.
The truth is that people who haven't share the same experiences can't really understand the pain or stress experienced by others. It was probably very insensitive and rude of him to post about people who don't have children, but in all truth, you don't really know what it's like and you would likely find yourself exhausted if you had to manage 3 children with an ex and work.
He’s not making enough money
To give big,good, gifts to his kids ? Face facts. SO is a looser. Anyone who will sit on his ass not making money instead of working a real job. Is a loser. For us who works 60 hours a week. We can feel this way