Wanting to send her home!
I have been divorced, single and happy for the last five years. I didn't feel I need a man to complete me and I sure did not need a child to complete me. I had a hysterectomy when I was 23 and I have always been fine NOT having children. I love other peoples kids, but I don't have to deal with them 24/7!
Eight months ago I meet a man by chance that stole my heart. I was not looking for a relationship per say, but I know I am with the man I will spend the rest of my life with. He has moved in and I have no doubt whatsoever that he loves me whole hearted.
The issue.....he has an eight year old daughter and a bat shit crazy ex!!!! His daughter is not horrible, but she has come for the summer and I am ready for her to GO HOME. I want my peaceful, whine free life back. Not only are we "blessed" with one month, but we have her for TWO!!! The ex just basically said she needed a "break." She doesn't work and never has. My bf and the taxpayers pay for all her shit. WHAT CAN SHE NEED A BREAK FROM?!!!!
I honestly don't know if I can make five more weeks. Not gonna lie, it has very much made me reconsider my relationship. I am 41 and don't have to put up with all this crap and drama.
Also his ex thinks she can still run everything and control everything just because she is the "mother." Well, just because you are the biological parent for a child, doesn't mean you are a "MOM."
Thanks for listening to the vent!! Just had to get it out....hopefully now I will be able to move forward.
Send her home. BM should not
Send her home. BM should not br able to dictate a longer stay. You and so should have been presented the option and discussed it. Of that didnt happen, and an extra month wa just sprung on you then you have every right to revert to the original plan.
Send her home. BM should not
Send her home. BM should not br able to dictate a longer stay. You and so should have been presented the option and discussed it. Of that didnt happen, and an extra month wa just sprung on you then you have every right to revert to the original plan.
The bad part is that my bf is
The bad part is that my bf is overjoyed to have her here the extra time. It's just me not dealing well with it.
I hear you, my BF is the
I hear you, my BF is the same. Whenever he gets extra time, he's extremely happy. I, on the other hand, gets extremely irritated (but cannot express it openly) whenever they are here and they are here now, the whole weekend. After they are gone Sunday night, they will be immediately (feels like immediately) be back on Tuesday and Wednesday. I wish them to go away almost every second, until that happens, I'll just keep venting.
I think it's important that
I think it's important that you consider the fact that your BF and his daughter are a package deal and that if you can't (or don't want) to have a child around then this may not be the relationship for you. There are going to be challenges down the line that are only going to get more complicated and if you're not completely ready to assimilate this child into your life then you are very effectively setting yourself (and your relationship) up to fail.
I am a 42 year old childless woman who lived a very neat, tidy, successful, fulfilling, and unbelievably lonely life. I moved in with my BF back in March (he has 50/50). The fact is that I have had to give up some things. The house is not always tidy. I don't always have time to myself. I can't always do whatever I want anymore. The reason for this is that I want to be a part of my BF's life which means that I have a 6 year old around half the time. Is it always easy? No. But, boy, when she asks ME to do story time and nighttime snuggles, it sure does make me miss my neat and tidy former life a lot less.
I don't know what to say about the BM struggles. I'm afraid I'm not equipped to council on that front. Good luck to you..
I think it's so awesome that
I think it's so awesome that you have amazing skids that you love so much. That were raised with manners and to obey their parents and any other adults in charge. Wow.
We should all be as fortunate as you.
That is my nice way of telling you what to do with your suck it up comment.
I think you need to be
I think you need to be realistic and understand at this age in the game, how many men or women do not have children???? I feel in love with HIM, and when his child is grown, gone and has a family of her own....I will still be with him! Children are NOT the center of all things. People choose to have children and when they do, they should be responsible in raising them too. In today's world, children choose and run everything, which I think is crazy. If I say no, I should not have to negotiate or explain for two hours. Children need to be disciplined and that seems to be a thing of the past. I have to deal with her to be with him and I am working on it. I would like the day that I can actually feel something for her and want to be a "family." Obviously YOU are a total kid person and I'm glad for you, but you need to realize that some of us had good, happy, well rounded lives without children. I know I have a lot to work on, but telling me to suck it up and deal with it advice.....just tells me what type of person you are.
If I had a choice, yes I would be with someone that does not have children, but I feel in love with a man that does. I will work on the issues and grow in the situation, because I am tough, but I'm not allowing anyone to run over me.....especially a child.
Parents need to go back to real parenting!