I dont often wear a bra but if one of my (adult) stepsons is coming over, I put one on.  I would do the same if one of my adult grandsons was coming, too.  It seems icky not to.

Nope, completely reasonable. I wouldn't go braless around anyone except my husband.

Typically a parent has a responsibility to teach their child about boundaries, respect for their body, respect for other's bodies, a sense of modesty & privacy etc. All those societal norms which help maintain appropriate relationships.  

Yes, this is your wife's home where she can feel free to wear as much or as little as she likes.  HOWEVER, this is also your minor son's home, as well. Wearing a bra in public areas of the house in front of a pubescent teen boy doesn't seem to be out-of-line.  

There are tons of comfie lounge style bras --- as 36DDD, I've a collection of bras for a variety of situations.  At home with my son as he was growing up, having sleepovers, camping trips, whatever, I have always worn some type of bra. 

I let "The Girls" freelance when I'm home alone, with my DH, skinny dipping & that's about it. 

I'm going to go against the grain here because I virtually never wear a bra, being small breasted, and if anyone told me to put one on I would consider this unreasonable.  Having said that I wouldn't wear any garment where it was obvious I had no bra on, in front of anyone other than my husband.  I wear one on certain occasions mostly if I'm out, and it's summer.  But yes, I do think it is an unreasonable request to tell a woman to put on a bra. 

If your wife doesn't wear a bra at home it's because they are uncomfortable to her. Why should she have to be uncomfortable in her own home? 

You can ask her, but she can also refuse ...

I think it's unreasonable to ask her to wear a bra.

Your son is going to be faced with women wearing clothing throughout his life that is going to show off women's anatomy. To be crude, he's going to be turned on if he finds them attractive. Your job as dad is to teach your son how to handle those impulses, not police how women dress, especially the woman who lives in your home as your equal and pays her share of the household bills.

Unless your wife is walking out in a teddy and purposefully making her breasts sexual in front of your son, then you're being unreasonable. If she is doing that, then the issue isn't the lack of a bra but her being sexual in front of your kids. The mere presence of a tit and a nipple isn't sexual in nature. The person who needs to learn that fact is your son, and perhaps you.

Couldn't there be a compromise and maybe she could wear a sports bra or a tank top underneath?

I am with you on this issue.  I agree she should wear a bra or a variation of a bra.  While it is her home, if your parents, the neighbors etc were dropping in would she feel the same way?  Is SS welcome to run around in his boxers because it is more comfortable?  

Personally I feel she needs to cover up in some form and should do it whether it is your son, her son or even a daughter.  No need to dress or lack of dress when kids are around, it is not appropriate.  I feel that by not finding some variation of a coverup she is trying to stake her ground.  She is part of a step family now and she to has to make adjustments especially as one of the adults.

It depends. Does she have large breasts and it's obvious she's not wearing one? Or does she have small breasts and you just know from her habits that she's not?

I have large ones and I am never around anyone except DH and female relatives (sisters/mom) without one because it's blatantly obvious that I'm not wearing one, unless I put on a heavy sweatshirt - and in the summer, I'd rather wear a bra than a heavy sweatshirt.

I was never around SS at 14 without one, but I would not have felt comfortable, so it was my idea, not DH's. But I personally don't feel like bras are torture devices as many seem to - I feel more comfortable in them if someone else is around.

I’m a bit of a prude yet I don’t see anything wrong with a woman going braless in her own home (as long as it’s a t shirt and not something provocative and see through). 

After a few hours mine dig into me, the hot weather is awful. 

Can I just say I hope you are holding your daughter to these same standards of appropriate dressing around males. 

I'm going to have to disagree and say that I am often shirtless in my own home regardless of who is around. I breastfeed and do this topless for hygiene and comfort reasons. 

Fight me lmao.

Just my opinion based on my own personal preferences: I think all members of a household should dress modestly in common areas. Meaning nothing showing that would be inappropriate on network TV - no nipples or butt cheeks or vagina showing for females, no butt cheeks or penis showing for males. This applies to all adults and children of school age. I also believe people should have areas where they have privacy to wear whatever they want - their bedroom and bathroom. If they share a bedroom it should be with someone they can wear whatever they want in front of. Idk what your wife is wearing or what is visible. As another poster said, i hope you hold yourself and your kids to the same standard. 

Omg so he sees boobs jiggling under a shirt?!?! Ohhh the horror!!!! 

For fucks sakes, I don't even know how this is a problem. Teach your son that it's ok for women to be comfortable in their own damn home. His comfort (to not see boobs move under clothing) is NOT more important than your wife's physical comfort. He can avert his fricking eyes if it bothers him. And you can do the same if you "notice him noticing her." 

Use this as a teaching moment. You and your son could bone up on learning that the sexualization of breasts is YOUR ISSUE TO SOLVE, not your wife's. The same stupid arguments men use to demand their wives wear a bra at home are the ones used to keep women in burkas in other cultures. Eff right off with this nonsense.

I have big ones and I don't wear a bra unless I'm doing something physical like playing sports. Bras just mash them together, creating a salty pool of sweat between them, destroying the material. Titty sweat stinks. No thanks. If someone doesn't like seeing my body move under clothes, too fucking bad. I see plenty of moving parts under clothing all the time. I never once thought I could or SHOULD do anything about it. My ass jiggles sometimes, too. Should I be forced into spanx every time a male is around to "protect" them from my wiggly ass?

I hate wearing a bra and never do! I don't wear them around my close family members but we're also like I said CLOSE. I still pee with the door open around my siblings and parents even as a grown adult. I guess you can ask your wife to wear a bra and she can choose to or not but if she does it's just going to cause her to be annoyed when your son comes over. I typically sleep in underwear and a Tshirt but when my SD is over, I sleep in regular Pjs in case she comes in our bedroom at night. I walk around my home that way too normally, walk out of the shower and blow dry my hair naked with the door open because it gets hot but obviously I can't do that with my SD here so it's slightly annoying that I have to cover up, but I just deal with it but it's not that often she's here so not too big of a deal.

Does anybody else find this post creepy and gross? Like how quick you were willing to share with somebody over the internet whether you wear a bra or not, or what size you are?

If this doesn't happen to be some gross pervy internet troll then I ask you this...do you control what your ex-wife does in her home? Has your son expressed that he is uncomfortable? As a parent this could be a good teaching moment for your son that breasts are not sexual objects, despite what media, and you are teaching him.

I agree wearing a bra too, maybe she could wear a hoodie or robe to layer up rather than wear a bra. The best thing about being home is the fact that you don't have to wear a bra. If you bought her a new hoodie or robe and told him you don't want your soon having thoughts about her it might go over better than implying that she is being inappropriate by being comfortable.

I am very large chested and would never go around without support. I have a 20 yr old SS that is with us full time, SSstb16 for school breaks and BS14- I am not comfortable with all that boob flopping around any of them. If she doesn't want to wear a bra, I would suggest maybe a bralette or at least a tank with support. 

Be a hero and get her some cool nights sleep sets from Soma- they are amazing! Here is a link to one of the bra tanks. I live in my Soma PJ's from the moment I walk in the door from work!

Nope, not something I would ask of my wife.

However, depending on what else she is wearing it may be that being braless could be eye magnets for some men.

When I was a young man and subject to the many teen and early twenties through out the day erections I made sure I wore adequately controlling underwear to avoid unwarranted and unwanted attention. There is nothing quite like being called to the board to work out an Algebra problem with a raging hard on.  This is about the only equivalent I can think of that men have to deal with.  Sometimes these things have a mind of their own with absolutely nothing sexual about them.

I am fine with braless women, however, I am also careful to be sure not to gawk.

Appreciating beauty is one thing, leering is something else entirely.   It would be hoped that your son recognizes what is and is not appropriate regarding his interface with your wife.

You and your son need to accept the fact that women have breasts. They don't have to wear a bra for your son's benefit. If he gets turned on by her breasts you need to teach him how to manage his arousal. She can't control his arousel. That's rape culture. 

I agree with some other posters about being comfortable in her home but have you thought that it may perhaps be a way of, not to sound crude, marking her territory in the sense that she's showing you and your son it's her house and she'll wear what she wants to wear to feel comfortable in her home? Have there been any hurt feelings on her part, making her feel left out? alone? helpless? out of control and powerless maybe? Maybe like you feel you have more of a say in your home because you have a son? Maybe instead of asking her to wear a bra when your son's around you can try to address some other possible deeper issues which would make her want to be more open and accomodating to your suggestions? I do agree with other posters that it is her home and she should feel comfortable and it really depends on what she's wearing overall.

I am well-blessed myself. It's been a normal hot humid summer and some days I wear a bikini swimsuit top instead of a bra so I get a little coverage without the bra/booby sweat. My SS16 is also on the spectrum so I do make sure that I am properly covered. There's got to be some sort of compromise....I am comfortable and at the same time, not displaying the girls in front of a hormonal teenager

You picked a real winner there.  That you even had to ask her is enough for me to know that she has no class much less maternal instinct (It's good she had no kids.).  The woman, not lady, you married has no sense or decency.  Tell her she cannot go braless when your son is around!  Period.  

IMHO braless is obvious regardless of whether the breasts are pert small ones, gorgeous full ones or anything in between.  Breasts are noticable. Particularly braless breasts.

For 14yo boys it is prabably about 50/50 whether or not they would notice. Though every day their awareness can become more clear.

Either way, I am not asking my wife to put on a bra in her own home.

Wow, if your wife can't acquiesce to your light request about this, I cannot imagine what life for you is going to look like down the road another year.  Yikes!  

I'm probably just going to attack this from the "general respect for people you share a home with " and modesty.

I shared a home with my DH and his two daughters.. so obviously thismost likely was not a "raging hormone issue for them" but I didn't go around the home in my underwear... and if I happened to be braless.. it was usually with a couple of layers like a PJ top plus a robe situation.  My husband didn't go around in boxer briefs either.. when you were in public areas of the home.. you dressed to a point of "decency".  I guess that standard could vary depending upon the household.

For us it wasn't really a matter of bra/no bra.. but if you could count the moles on someone's skin through their clothing.. that was too much..  

I guess this is a problem because you have two different ideas of what appropriate home atitire is???

This pandemic has gotten me WAY too comfortable with only wearing yoga pants and no bra under my shirt every day.  I dread the day we actually have to go back into the office and have to wear those torture devices again!  

That being said, when skids lived with us, I always had on either a snug tank top or sports bra on under my shirts.  I couldn't bring myself to be totally free while they were there.   H never made any suggestions as to me needing it, it was just my own comfort level (as a 38DD, *I* needed it).  

As a man, I am completely unqualified in commenting.  Other than I make my life with a beautiful woman with 34-H breasts.  She never goes out in public without engineering support (as she calls it) though she does enjoy going support free at home periodically.

She would go bra-less at home when SS was still living with us.  He never cared and far be it from me to tell my bride what to do, particularly in her own home with her choice of clothing.

She has shared with me that while the favorite part of her day is ditching the bra, going too long without a bra gets very uncomfortable.  She is team "the right bra is an amazing experience".

As her DH, her comfort is what I want.  As a man... I am good either way.

If you mean she has a shirt on but no bra then yes you are asking to much unless it's like a super tight see through shirt now if she is completely naked I could see your point 

Oh my..... I would say YES, tell your wife - your equal, your partner, the person who's gone in halves on your home with you - how to dress. Your next task will be to eliminate any other possible element from the world that might evoke some sort of "feeling" from your son. I'd hussle up if I were you, you've got a lot of work to do.

I'd say it's about as black and white an issue as could be: teach your son basic respect for women, and your wife's wardrobe will fall down the priority list just as it should.

I have large breasts and it is uncomftable for me to wear a bra because of the constant pain on my shoulders and neck.  I feel like I have to wear one around my 14 year old SD around the house now that she lives with us.  It is VERY uncomfortable.  Thank God that it is winter and I can wear baggy clothes.  I would be beyong pissed if I had to wear one in the summer.  Part of having a home is having a place wear you can be comfortable.  For a lot of women, this includes not wearing a bra. Just a point of view.  I understand your reasoning though.  

call.

My bride is chesty.  When my niece was young she noticed.  Her mother is extremely small chested.  My DW answered her questions and it was no big deal.  My niece is now 28 and unlike her mother has a chest.  My Dw and niece occasionally laugh about the "big boobs" talk 20 years later.  

... might be more comfortable around your wife if she wore a chador. Why don't you try to get  her to wear one? Let us know how it goes.