Am I overreacting when it comes to my fiance's ex- wife
I fiance has a close relationship with his ex-wife for the sake of their son. It has always been this way, ever before he and I started dating. Their relationship
has actually helped my relationship with my ex-husband for our daughter's sake. But lately I feel like he is defending his ex-wife for his convience. His ex-wife and son leave out of town. When he goes to visit he stays there with them. Which
I don't have a problem with, I have also stayed their with him. But his son is now
a teenager and when my fiance goes up to visit, he son is hardly at home, he is to
busy going out with his friends. And this time he is also spending the night at a friends house, while my fiance is spending the night at his son's house. This is where I have a problem. Am I overreacting or is this wrong. I feel like his son should make the time for his dad when he is in town visiting for a few days. Instead of leaving him at home with the ex-wife.
The ex-wife is usually busy doing her own things, but I asked my fiance if he would
like it if my ex-husband would spend the night at our house when our daughter is not around. He claims it is a different situation because my ex-husband and I live in the same town. And he and his ex-wife don't. I feel this is a double standard.
I know for a fact there is nothing going on with him and his ex-wife. I just think
this situation with his son spending the night somewhere else is not approiate, unless we were both there together. I know what we have is a rare situation, because most of the times you are fighting with the ex's. But we both have a good relationship with our ex's for the sake of our kids. Please advice.
My ex
lived away from his kids also. But when he visited, he got a hotel room every time. I would not have been comfortable with him staying at ex's house, whether kids are there or not, and especially if the kid is not home. Well, it is a different situation if your ex would stay over, but ask your fiance, if it was the same situation..and your ex lived out of town...would he want it to happen. I doubt it. But he probably won't admit it. I know it gets harder when the skids get older and have their own lives going on, but wouldn't an occasional weekend with your skid coming to your house and actually spending a weekend with his dad be better for all. You won't have a problem, and your fiance will get to spend some quality time with his son. Maybe he could come just 1 weekend a month to your place and stay. Kids do it all the time, even when they get older.
Same here
my boyfriends ex lives in another state and the first time he went to pick up his daughter when we got together to bring her here for a visit, he was supposed to stay with BM and step daughter. I didnt have a problem with it because they too had a good relationship for the sake of their daughter (well that was until he and I became serious, totally other blog alltogether) also BM's BF lives there as well as her other children. He decided on his own once he got there that it wasn't appropriate for him to stay there any longer being in a relationship with me..no matter what he and BM's relationship is...He told me that he put himself in my shoes and realized he wouldn't like it one bit...so he stayed at another family members house for the few days he was there. Trust me, no matter how much I told him I didn't have a problem with him staying with her, I'm not going to lie...I WAS HAPPY AS HELL HE STAYED SOMEWHERE ELSE. It isn't a matter of them being friends or ex's or whatever the current status is....I felt him not staying there showed me a lot of respect. I know everyones situation is different and I think it's really great that you guys are friendly with the ex's but I have to agree with Hanny, invite SS to come to your home and maybe make arrangements to have a fun-filled weekend together...boy did that sound corny..
Maybe find something he and his Dad can do together and they can have some quality father and son time together. The point of his trips there is to spend time with his son...and if he's not doing that while he's there, then what is the point of his trip? As far as him staying at BM's house..he must have at least a little twinkle inside him that his actions are making you a wee bit uneasy without SS being there during his visit. Obviously it's not his fault...SS is hanging out...it's just if that's the case, then why go...have him come to your home...hope that made some sense...lol
WHOA
Um.....I would be furious with my hubby if he even mentioned saying with his ex. It's fine to get along for the kids sake but that's taking it a bit far. If you're comfortable with that then o.k. but I would certainly have a HUGE problem with it. You don't sound o.k. with it or you wouldn't have said anything so I would definately get talking about this one and fast before you go headlong into a brick wall.