I am new and I am going to use as much detail as I can. A little history: DH and BM had my SS while BM was married to another man. She had two other children with her husband at the time. When my husband discontinued their relationship, she began seeing another man while still married. Then divorced her husband and moved in with the boyfriend, and proceeded to marry him. After a couple of months, divorced him and moved original husband back in. He left after only a few weeks. Since, BM has had several boyfriends and has been with Mr. Current for maybe a year now. These are only the relationships that have been visible to myself and she has been well known for maintaining multiple "committed" relationships simultaneously. SS is now ten.

For the first three years of my relationship with DH, we had SS only on the weekends. At the time she would make requests all the time for SS to go to birthday parties and whatnot, and DH would generally say yes so he didn't rock the boat with her. She is very explosive when confronted or told no. When DH would ask for a weekday dinner or for any other reason, she would lash out and if she said no, it was just no. NO discussion.

For as long as I can remember, SS was asking if he could stay with us half time, so we spent the third year of our relationship in court fighting for that. After a year, we got it in writing that we had joint custody of SS. Hooray. We were so happy! Little did we know what we would be dealing with for the next two years which brings us to the present.

She treats her original EX husband like he is SS's bio father leaving DH out of everything she possibly can. Her EX bought SS an iphone and has repeatedly downloaded explicit music content and won't give us the password to the account for the phone so we can make changes as needed when things like this happen. We finally figured out a way to get that stuff off his phone. When DH asked BM for the password, she says, call my EX. We shouldn't have to deal with her EX. SS "asked" if he could have that music back on the phone since she lets her 11 and 6 year old have that stuff on theirs. Her answer to the text what "sure". DH put her on speaker phone so he could talk to her and have me as a witness. Nothing about what she said made sense. She wouldn't answer simple yes or no questions and would just deflect. Basically her response was "I told you your're dad would be mad when he found that music on your phone". REALLY. So what I gather from that is she let him have it, blamed him her letting him have it and made DH the badguy. WTF. This is a SAMPLE of how she works.

She expects for SS to call her like twice a day so she can tell him how awesome things are at her place, and how much she misses him. I swear, it's gotta be at least five times for every call, and talks to him like a baby. I think she really likes talking that way to everyone. However, she NEVER reminds SS to call his dad. She refers to DH as Daddy _________, and refers to her EX as Dad. Another annoying thing.

If she misses him and her other kids so much, then why does she send him to her ex husband's and cuts her time with him to 25%. Actually I can answer that. To throw parties at her house with friends, go out with her boyfriend and do who knows how many swimsuit competitions at dive bars.

If there isn't drama, it's too much for her. She has to have drama. If there isn't any, she has to create it even if it means fabricating huge elaborate lies. She is the queen of lies. That is my number one pet peeve, so maybe that's why it grinds at me so much.

So this part I need to include because it makes me think of Histrionic personality disorder. She is obsessed with working out and looking perfect. She puts on a ton of make up(think Snooki), is obsessed with tanning beds, wears the most revealing things she can, puts on a huge facade of having the perfect life, perfect kids(actually completing their homework or letting their sibling do it) so they look super smart, perfect car, perfect boyfriend, perfect everything. She always has to be the center of attention. Nobody should be able to be having as much fun or be as pretty as she is. I'll be honest. Physically she is really pretty, with boob job, lipo and all, but on the inside she is the ugliest person I know. She has got it all down to a science. I don't know how she actually pulls these lies over on anyone close to her.

I don't try to replace her, I just do my best to be a good step mom to SS. I love that kid to death. But when he is at her house it's like I'm the devil and I'm trying to erase her. She tells my DH whenever they are having a "discussion" that SS is treated terribly over here, and the other three boys are favored over him. When I hear her say those things, it really hurts my heart. That's all we ever do is treat everyone equally around our house. We have to, we are a blended family.

Bear with me, our schedule is somewhat complex(M,T with us and W,T with BM, and we switch every other F,S,S). On the weekends she is supposed to have SS, she sends him with his other siblings to her exes house. The EX texts SS to bring all the video games they want to play like "grand theft auto" and "stuff like that". WTF.

We are at a loss unless we go to court about the whole phone issue, and the time he spends at the EXES house. We only have him half time, so taking the phone would just equal them getting another one. And is it even possible to get a court order saying he can't go somewhere that allows him to play such games and listen to hostile(F bombs everywhere, kill this kill that) music? The Ex is apparently a friend of BM.

When it comes to SS's academics, she plays mom of the year even though she doesn't actually do anything but let others do his homework for him and never hold him accountable for anything. She got so pissed at me and DH because we wrote to SS's teacher that he knowingly didn't complete his homework and therefore would have consequences at home and what she felt needed to happen at school was okay(ed) by us. When BM say the planner, she hit the roof(at least that's was SS said). She proceeded to call the the teacher to get him another day to do his work and write us a note that she got it taken care of. This woman drives me crazy. She doesn't do this stuff to help, she is just simply a control freak. Anytime DH or myself writes in his school planner, she HAS to write, right above it to make a point.

SS has migraines that sometimes keep him out of school. He's been to the doctor too many times to count. BM took him to get an MRI, and has gotten tests done. There is no underlying medical condition. She still feels the need to take him to the Dr any and every chance she gets. Sometimes, it seems like she just does it to get attention. She always makes herself and the kids out to be the victims, more herself than them, so SS has gotten the hang of how to play that role himself. She is rubbing off on him and it makes me sad.

She makes is very obvious from her point of view that I'm not really a mom to him(more like a babysitter) and his brothers step and half aren't really as important as his HALF siblings at her house.
Thanks for reading. This may not have stayed on topic. I pretty much poured my heart out here.

Please someone tell me I'm not alone. I really think there is something wrong with her.

Maybe I'm crazy for saying this, but she is completely psychotic.