Can't stand the bragging
I love my husband and I'm trying my best to have a good relationship with my 8-year-old stepson. He's a nice boy, fun, and full of energy. I just can't stand his bragging!!
Since the minute he comes in he's bragging about how he's done this and that. I'm happy and I celebrate when he gets A's and I reaaaallly try by best to celebrate what he does but too much bragging is making my 14-year-old daughter feel bad and she doesn't want to interact with us as a family that much because the conversation always turns to my stepson and how wonderfully he's doing.
Of course, since my husband doesn't get to see his son that often (thanks to his bitchy ex who will control every minute my husband sees his son) my husband is just full of joy talking about his son when he comes over.
Today at breakfast my Stepson went on and on about all the countries he and his mom have traveled and how he has been all over the world. I just realized that his bragging is the major reason I don't want to be around my stepson that much when he comes over. Not to mention that it gets worse when he starts bragging about how his mom is the best cook and she always does everything right. Of course he never shows appreciation for anything we do for him since we don't do anything right.
Taking turns
Can you bring up the topic of good manners and how you should listen more than you talk? Explain the concept of boasting and making others feel bad by bragging, being sensitive to others. It could only help!
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2My husband doesn't see it as
My husband doesn't see it as bragging. They are simply "sharing" their experiences. He was shocked that I was bothered by it. I really try not to let it bother me but gosh, so much of it sometimes gets to me.
When is it bragging and when is it celebrating experiences and accomplishments to build his self-esteem?
Sharing experiences
involves more than one person. I would just "naturally" turn the tables and say something like----what a wonderful experience you had, I too had an experience I'd like to share AND SHARE IT. Then, ask your daughter to share. Then ask your dh to share. THAT'LL DO IT. Especially if you do it EVERY TIME.
Humility
Like Angel said, maybe Dh could understand if you said, SS is allowed one share, vs. whoever else is there's one share. He doesn't have to say everything he has done.
Humility and being humble are attractive qualities to most people, more so than inflated 'self-esteem'! He is a little boy yet, but this is important if he wants to make and keep friends.
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2Turn Dad.
Without Dad's help you're not going to have much effect on this so a serious discussion is needed. Dad needs to be convinced that his primary role in parenting is preparing his boy for life in the real world. And guess what? The real world hates a braggart.
But your kid is your real problem. (You're not responsible for how his kid turns out). I would sit down with her and explain exactly what you've explained here. How SDad doesn't see the kid often. Yes the kid is a brat. No there's not much we can do about it. Yes SDad indulges the brat. Then discuss ways that she can come to realize that she is not in competition with the kid and most importantly how much you love and care for her.
Then with SDad you'll have to make him realize what effect this is having on the girl. Insist that the conversations not be about the kid unless the kid is present and making a valid claim. Once. Which means we don't talk about that A on the math test or the visit to China four times.
"Oh you told us about that trip already lets talk about............
And by the way Mom is the best cook. Wasn't yours? And no you're never going to get credit for anything you do. Stop expecting it as it goes with the SMom territory.
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There's an exception to everything I say.