I have been married to my husband going on 8 years now. His son was 9 when we married and is 16 right now. At 13 his mother start letting him smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol to help him sleep and then she started letting him smoke pot with her. We got DHS involved and got custody of him when he was 14. After the paperwork was filed for my husband to get him, he started acting out again. He ran away and would stay away for weeks at a time. We had to call the police and file a runaway report. We have my 12 year old son and together we have a 7 year old to think about. We ended up having to have him put in Juvenile detention 3 different times for running away. He was also put into a behavioral health center for about a month. His mom let him raise himself pretty much from the time he was 5 letting him stay in the house by himself while she went out of town for the weekend. So he was not used to having some rules. Every time he didn't get his way he ran away. Now he is 16 and has on numerous times threatened mine and my 7 year old's life. He has been in my face threatening to F*&^ me up. A friend stopped him and said if he wasn't there he saw that my stepson had that look in his eyes he would have really hit me. I am and have been afraid of him especially when my husband is out of town. I don't like being around him and I don't like to even look at him. He thinks he is an adult and that he can do what he wants and for the most part if he does do what he wants his dad never punishes him. I have tried to but then he goes to his dad and his dad gives in. He doesn't have any consequences at all and it drives me crazy because the other kids do. I care about what happens to him or at least I did until he kept threatening me, but I don't like him very much now and don't know what to do about it. I feel guilty because I know these issues are tearing my husband apart. I shouldn't feel this way about my stepson because he is a child of God and I am supposed to love everyone, but I just can't find it in my heart to love him right now. He is about to go into a military type program to get his high school diploma since he failed 8th grade twice and is so far behind. His probation officer is not giving him a choice since he refuses to go to school. He will either go to this program or get his GED in juvenile detention. I know he is troubled but I feel a lot of his issues could be settled if he had been getting some type of discipline all along. I don't believe he has all these behavioral disorders that they say he has. He just needs a good old fashioned behind the shed butt whipping.