DH refers to me as "your mother" to my DD but it's just "mommy" for BM/SS
I've noticed alot lately that I'm getting more annoyed with names around here. SS calls me Confused to my DD and my DS. Granted SS is young but at the same age, my DD was almost consistently calling DH Dad to SS as to not confuse him. I expect the same respect from SS for DS but DH doesn't agree. Anyway, bedtime last night DH was talking to SS and kept saying "mommy" and of course when SS talks he always just says "mommy" not my mommy. I was a little annoyed until DH went upstairs and told DD to "Go downstairs and get your mother". Then I realized it's always like that here. I mean doesn't BM get enough? I can't even just be mom in my house bc she is? When my DD talks ab her dad, she refers to him as her dad and I refer to him as her dad and I refer to DH as just dad around here...to call the kids. He is the dad of the house. Now DD is older and understands. I know if DH just said mom to me to SS he wouldn't understand (NOT that I want to be called mom by him). DH says if he ever acknowledged BM as just "mommy" he honestly didn't mean to. This may sound like something silly to vent about but I just think it falls into the category of no respect for me in this house.
My DD always called DH Dad
My DD always called DH Dad ONLY in front of her brothers so they would not be confused. I don't want SS to call me mom, not even a little...but I don't want DH to refer to BM as "Mommy" in my house bc I AM MOMMY at my house. I want him to say "your mommy" to him bc again I am the mommy in this house. And even if SS said "your mommy" to my DS1 instead of him calling me Confused. The way he says to SS makes it sound like they are still a family and my DD gets "go see your mother" instead of "go see mom". I would never just say "Daddy is coming to see you today" to DD. I would say "Your dad is coming to see you". I think you're misunderstanding my annoyance.
I understand that BUT my
I understand that BUT my issue lies with DH referring to BM as "Mommy" and me, his wife, mother of his child "Your mother". Why does she get to be called Mommy when DH is talking to SS but when DH is talking to DD or our DS1 about me, it's "your mother". My mother used to say "your father" once they were divorced and bitter. I want to be mommy in my house. She can be called "your mother". All I am saying is when DH is referring to ME, IN MY HOUSE, I would prefer to not have the cold "your mother is leaving" while SS in reference to his BM would get "mommy is coming to get you". I'm not so much worried about the kids as I think it's a lack of respect on the part of my DH to refer to her as "mommy" and me "your mother" when it comes to our respective kids.
DD chose to call DH Dad to
DD chose to call DH Dad to her brothers bc she didn't not want them to be confused. In the beginning, SS started calling DH by his first name and DD felt like she could help fix the problem by calling DH dad when talking to her brothers. She does not call DH dad, she calls him by his first name when she talks to him. I guess I just don't understand why I can't just be Mom..."Go talk to mom about it"....why do I have to be "your mother"...I get your points here but just as much as SS only has one mom, so does DD and DS and I am the only mother in the house. I don't care what SS calls his mother, he could call her the Queen for all I care but if she gets to be called "mommy" by DH then I should get to be called just "mommy" to my kids in my house. Just like you said you always just said "did dad call" etc....DH would say to my kids "did your mother call" but if he was talking to SS he would say "Did Mommy call"....Any chance I am making this more clear? lol bc I feel a little misunderstood
I think it is more along the
I think it is more along the lines of 'mother' sounds so harsh...only way I can think to describe.
I too understand completely.
I too understand completely. When DH and I first married, he would refer to me to my biokids as "your mom" but when speaking to skids, he would call BB "mommy". Uggh. The difference is the familiarity of calling someone "Mom" rather than "Your Mom" .
FYI--My kids call my DH by his first name, steps call me by my first name. THOUGH...*MY* kids refer to us as "their parents" since their biodad is no longer in the picture (his choice). Skids refer to me as their SM or "Dad's wife". I think they feel they are somehow betraying their Mom be calling me a parent.
My DD also doesn't have her
My DD also doesn't have her father in the picture and refers to us as her parents. She refers to DH as her step dad when talking to friends. SS (who is young) doesn't refer to me as anything. He doesn't speak to me, NOTHING. He doesn't acknowledge my importance or presence in this house at all. DH says its bc he is too young but he is the same exact age that DD was when I met DH and she understood completely the situation. It may have taken her a while to respect him completely. I've been in SS's life for 3 years and he still won't talk to me. DH gives me crap bc SS can see how I am with my bios and it's not the same way with him but I'm sorry there was only so much shit I could eat before I gave up. DH also has to deal with alot from my DD but since she does not have a father, he has way more involvement than I'm allowed to have with SS. Besides, SS thinks his mother has a nicer house, better car, is a better cook, etc. so there is no way I can ever compare
I just found out yesterday
I just found out yesterday that my ss14 calls me when he's talking to his friends, his "step friend". Not sure where that title came from but it's cute and original!
SS refers to me by name to my
SS refers to me by name to my bios. It annoys me. DD, trying to help, has always called me by my first name to SS so he wouldn't be confused, the same as she refers to DH as dad to him. It bothers me to hear DD call me by my first name to him but not enough to say anything about it. Maybe I should now...maybe that would help SS refer to me as "your mommy" when talking to DS1. I know all of this might seem trivial but seriously BM gets everything...SS is always talking about "mommy this, mommy that, mommy's house, mommy said, etc" and I'm just tired of of "mommy" (BM) being the topic of conversation around here. I atleast want to be the only just "mom" in my house with MY children.
I get what you are saying and
I get what you are saying and I would be pissed if DH called stupid BM mommy and me mother to the kids. Id flip!!!!!!! He needs to call that cow mother.and.you mommy!!!!! Why would he ever do it the other way??! Do u think he has feelings for her still? Does he treat SS better the DDs?? Say something to him. Do not allow that crap in your home!!!!
I get what you are saying and
I get what you are saying and I would be pissed if DH called stupid BM mommy and me mother to the kids. Id flip!!!!!!! He needs to call that cow mother.and.you mommy!!!!! Why would he ever do it the other way??! Do u think he has feelings for her still? Does he treat SS better the DDs?? Say something to him. Do not allow that crap in your home!!!!
I get what you are saying and
I get what you are saying and I would be pissed if DH called stupid BM mommy and me mother to the kids. Id flip!!!!!!! He needs to call that cow mother.and.you mommy!!!!! Why would he ever do it the other way??! Do u think he has feelings for her still? Does he treat SS better the DDs?? Say something to him. Do not allow that crap in your home!!!!
And my DH better say "your
And my DH better say "your mom" when he's talking about psycho BM or that would be my last straw considering all the other crap I put up with bc of BM and DH always kissen her a$$. If he even said "your mommy" I'd prob kick him.