Dicipline
So after an argument that almost saw my partner and i end it a couple of nights ago, i am at a loss, my ss12 has just been suspended for the second time this year, he mucks up in class, refuses to do the set work and has just added bullying and truancy.
His dad will not punnish for suspension, he punnished for truancy, but even then it is only that he isnt allowed out after school, he is still allowed access to the internet, xbox, tv and have friends over
to me this is not punnishment as it isnt stopping him, he needs all fun to be removed so he learns that punnishment is not just a word but actually means something not fun and not wanted.
not being his bio mum i have no say, proven tonight when i finally said that his punnishments were not harsh and not teaching him anything, It went down like a lead baloon and
we got into it and i was told to leave ( again ) this seems to happen EVERYTIME i say something about one of his 2 kids that live with us, it is taken as critiscism against him, which i get but if i cant talk to him about the negative so we can work on fixing it how are we going to move forward,
There are 6 kids in the one house, he has 2 boys that live with us 90% of the time, i have 3 girls that are here 90% as well and we have a baby together so rules and punnishmet should be the same for everyone ie my kids do housework but his do nothing, my kids see the way his are treated and they wonder why they have to do things his dont and why punishments are different
Lately i am over it, it is all just too hard, i feel like i have to watch everything i say so i dont hurt his feelings ( his kids are not babies but teenagers )
we have been together over3 yrs and this has been going on since we moved in together, the first time, i scolded his then 10 yr old for being nasty to one of my kids and i was the one who had to apologise to his son
i want to call it over but it is more complicated now there is a baby
He is ridiculous. Sounds as
He is ridiculous. Sounds as though you need to sit him down and tell him if he is not willing to parent ALL of the children together and equally, you are leaving. I know that is even more hard with a baby but just think about what you are putting that baby through by staying. This sounds like a time in life where you are going to have to pull the pin on the grenade and take the road that leads to the lesser of the two evils. Wish I could offer more helpful advice. See if he would go to family counseling with you before divorcing. You need to come to a better agreement on how the children are going to be raised and they all need to be raised the same way and he IS NOT raising his if this is the case. If he isn't willing to do so, you may be able to delay the inevitable but that is that in the end, you will not be able to hold it together.
we have been down the
we have been down the councilling road, and because my DP saw nothing wrong with the way things were we were told there was no point in going as nothing was being resolved....he just doesnt seem to get it, and by the time i speak up about an issue im stressed and upset because i know it will blow up in my face, and he will turn the argument around to me and something i do that he doesnt like to take the focus off his child for example the other nights one was that he decided that i should be working to help take the burden off him, even tho we have an 8 month old and 5 other kids to look and clean up after. i have tried working and studying before and it was hard add a baby now and at the moment i dont think i can do it plus im breast feeding him and not about to sacrifice that, and daycare and after school care fees would be more than what i would earn...
Crap why do you ladies bring
Crap why do you ladies bring more kids into the mix?
Your only option other than leaving is to disengage explaining to your children that life isn't fair but that you care enough for them to want them to grow into competent adults. Hence two sets of rules. Tell your husband to stop parenting your kids if he is doing so. Please follow this link print it and give him a copy and both of you follow it:
http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html