Drop off/pick up time
Forums:
Hi everyone. I'm new to being a step-parent. I have one son and two step children but I'm having issues with the time it takes my husband to drop off/pick up his children at his ex-wife's house. It constantly takes him at least 30 minutes, if not longer, to do this. He claims its the ex's fault but he doesn't tell her has to go/has plans etc....She is a talker but he says he just wants to spend time with his kids too. His son lives fulltime with us and he gets his daughter at least two days a week. I feel he could spend time with his daughter outside of his ex's house. I don't get it but I don't have that kind of relationship with my exhusband. Please help this is being a major issue for us. Thanks..
Great idea. His ex tends to
Great idea. His ex tends to be lazy and expects us to pick them up lots of times but I talked to my husband and he said it may work. I might add also that he was there until 9:30 last night & we live 5 mins away. Very frustrating. Thank you for the help.
MMMm - I'm having this
MMMm - I'm having this problem too!
My OH's BM lives half hour away, so it's an hour round trip to pick up/drop off.
Last Friday she said to P/U at 4:30, he gets there and they are playing and not even packed yet - 45mins later.....
then when he drops off he has to go in and "settle" them in???? What the! And occasionally listen to them read once they are in bed????? Fuck that! He now listens to them read, and he knows I will be pissy if he takes more than an hour 15 (I allow for traffic and to say goodbye LOL)
My OH does spend significant time with them alone (without me, my DD's or the BM) so that is not the issue here.
Now I just have to get him trained to tell her to make sure they are ready when he gets there!!!
His ex does the same thing.
His ex does the same thing. The other night when it was 9:30 she was going thru extra clothes to give to him & then talking. Really??? not amused, could be done at anytime. Yeah she will tell him come pick them up but had just put them in the bathtub. I hope I can change this so its not a continued problem. Although tonight it may be 11 before he can drop his daughter off so I volunteered to...
9:30!!!! No way I'd never
9:30!!!! No way I'd never tolerate that when he should be home with me. What time do his kids go to sleep ? Sounds like someones not over him as in his ex. I used to worry about my husband spending too much time chatting he'd say it was about his boys and scheduling ( stuff that she could very well email him) do what did I do ? Every time queen b ( his x) would conveniently have my husband pickup all the hockey stuf his boys left behind or a book they needed for school id go with him to pick it up until eventually I'd go myself - now she just bosses me around a far as what to do with her boys - my hubby hates it he never wanted us to talk but I get it done quicker and now all my friends think its hilarious when she texts me not to forget this and that they laugh that she's acting like my exwife lol
I'm nearly at the point where
I'm nearly at the point where I volunteer to pick up/drop off because it doesn't take near the time. When I tell him she doesn't pull that bs with me he says thats bc she doesn't know you...not as much to talk about. When we all go, it does go much quicker but then I feel like his mommie holding his hand. But if thats what it takes then....
My ex and I have a civil
My ex and I have a civil relationship..to an extent. but when we drop off and pick up my husband will pull up in front of his apartment bc we know it only takes a couple mins for the goodbyes and such. They talk about their 4/6 yr olds but other times shes talking about her work/bf/birth control & its causing her to bleed (yuck!!! he doesnt need to knw that)etc... I've suggested the public place so we shall see if that helps.
Has he tried waiting in the
Has he tried waiting in the car and texting her when he arrives? That's what DH does when he has to pick up at Crazy Train's trailer extravaganza.
I will have to suggest that.
I will have to suggest that. Some people I've talked to say he shouldn't even be going in her place much less for that length of time. I'm not worried about him going in there but I would think 5/10 mins at the most would be all thats needed.
She treats him like crap
She treats him like crap behind his back too. During their divorce she took full custody of the kids(he foolishly didnt look @ the papers when he was signing them) so she could get more child support. He just now got joint custody but of course she wanted the full $600/month in cs. Sorry honey...cant have your cake and eat it too...Then on facebook she talks about how hes a deadbeat dad (we have access to her page but she doesnt realize its us) but he has the kids more than she does. I don't understand how someone can treat you like that but you can't tell them no. He keeps telling me he will finally standup to her but...still waiting.
It seems they chat about the
It seems they chat about the 4 year old and 6 year old kids & about other bs. Used to be longer times (hours) so its better but still ridiculous!! His ex at one time wanted us ALL to go to Disneyland together...wtf?? So my parents took us for xmas but she sure wasn't allowed to go. This lady is crazy!!